(no subject)
Don't forget to read the entry before this
if you're going to read it at all!
Part 2 of the stuff I wrote is after the pictures.
PICTURES OF ME AND ASHLEY:
Oh, hooooome.
1.
Rootbeer in a bottle is just better.
2.
3-4.
5.
6.
7.
My hair got longer while I was in Tampa.
WAY longer.
8.
9.
HAH!
10.
People are littering the playgrounds of my youth with condoms!
HAHHAHAHH!
Oh man.
11.
12.
Yes, there are cheerleading piggies on my underwear.
13.
14.
15.
16-17.
18.
19.
20.
Tackle!
21.
22.
Our feet were so gross.
Ashley: "THERE'S POOP ON MY TOE!"
LOOK AT WHAT I GOT ASHLEY FOR HER BIRTHDAY!
I shopped for her at a cheesey Florida gift shop.
I got her this,
a magnet with some naked guy butts that says "Florida",
a post card with some fatties on the beach,
some orca things from Sea World because those are her favorite animals,
and forty dollars.
23.
It's a pufferfish.
She named it Jessica.
:)
24.
It has cool googley eyes.
25.
Ashley's idea.
26.
"They look like little animals"
Part 2:
SATURDAY
Ashley woke me up at eight. She had to get ready for Warped Tour. . .I had to wallow in self pity. . .you know, the usual.
I didn’t exactly get up, per se. I more like listened to her getting ready with my eyes closed. I was still in bed, but I was awake. I swear!
I opened my eyes to find Ashley face a few inches away from mine with a huge, toothy smile on. I screamed.
When Rose called to say she was on her way to get Ashley somewhere around ten, I got up. I found my muscles were even worse than they had been the night before. I could barely walk.
Ashley left and I thought, “Shit. There’s nothing to do.”
I thought Greg, Rob, JT, and Corbin would be coming over later, so I started to clean my room. I’m not usually neat, but I didn’t really think they needed to see Ashley and my underwear and Mini Muffins wrappers all over the floor.
Around ten or eleven, Evan called me. He wanted to hang out. I figured this would be the best day since Rose and Ashley were all the way in Miami, where they couldn’t, to my knowledge, show up and kill him. Had they known I was hanging out with him, though, they may have found a way.
I showered and finished cleaning my room while I waited for Evan to come. He showed up between eleven and twelve. I had told him that he’d probably just have to sit around while I cleaned, but I was already done, so we went to eat lunch at Denny’s.
Denny’s used to have coloring sheets of Candy Land characters. We’d all just turn the pages over and draw our own masterpieces, if you will, on the back. A while ago, they took those away, which definitely put a damper on my Denny’s experience.
However, when we walked in this time, there were new papers. These weren’t for coloring, though; they were alien masks. Although I’m sixteen and Evan’s almost eighteen, we have the maturity of six-year-olds. This is how it is with all of my friends. That’s probably why people like us. We’re not afraid to act stupid. Most people are, so they think everything we do is hilarious, from our spontaneous dance moves to our noise imitations.
Evan and I grabbed the alien masks the second we saw them. As the host led us to our table, he laughed and said, “You took the masks?”
We looked and him seriously and replied, “Well, yes.”
I read the story on the mask paper.
“’Aliens from all over the galaxy come to the D-Zone.’ They’re calling Denny’s the D-Zone now?!”
Evan pointed to his crotch. “This is my D-Zone.”
“Evan, you have a Denny’s in your pants? TMI!” I’m hilarious. I told this story to Angela later and she said I should have told him that he must have a lot of room in there.
We wore our alien masks almost the entire time we were in there. Evan’s was yellow; mine was red. They came with paper walkie-talkies, which we talked through the whole time. They had alien-language translations on them.
Ee-anduk=Thank you.
Zip-zeed=Please.
Por nixto=My name is.
“Ch. Por nixto Jessica. Ch.”
“Ch. I’m Evan. Ch.”
“Ch. I love the D-Zone. Ch.”
“Me, too!”
“Ch. You’re not talking into your walkie-talkie. I can’t hear you. Ch.”
“Ch. Sorry. Ch.”
“Ch. Die, zip-zeed. Ch.”
After I ate my buffalo chicken strips and he ate his American Grand Slam, we left the D-Zone and drove back to my house.
Once we got there, we headed to my room and played Zobmondo. If you’ve never heard of Zobmondo, it’s a book of “Would You Rather” questions, such as, “Would you rather chew a mole off of someone’s neck or drink a half cup of your best friend’s blood?” or “Would you rather, when faced with a grizzly bear, be armed with a guitar made of solid maple or a saxophone?” or “Would you rather sleep in a human-size nest in a tree or in a burrow underground?” Every question is followed by a few random facts related to the question asked, such as, “If several people meet up with a grizzly bear, they should stay calm and link arms with each other. Confronted with a larger creature, the bear or likely to retreat. Supposedly.”
Zobmondo was created to help break the ice at social gatherings, but I read it to everyone. I even have the board game.
After reading for a while, we stopped and just talked about things. I yelled at Evan a little more for his recent mistakes, ahem, and basically owned him. What else is new? Then he told me all about orientation and how he can’t wait to go to college. He made fun of me, because I have to stay here for two more years. God, I wish I could leave.
Around three, Evan left. He was going camping and partying in Orlando with his friend Adam and some girls they met.
I thought everyone would come home from Warped Tour around five. That’s what Ashley told me before she left. I had no idea what was going on, though. I had tried to call her, but I couldn’t hear her talking when she picked up. I found out later that The Bled was on. God, I’m jealous. At least I saw them back in November.
I didn’t know what else to do, so I watched Casanova. It was over around five. After that, I went and watched half of Anchorman with Stephanie. Ashley called and said her and Rose were heading home, but the boys weren’t coming.
That sucked on so many levels. One, I had no social contact besides Evan Dinosaur all day (sorry, Evan). Two, their not meeting my parents meant that there was no chance in the world that Ashley and I could go to JT’s with Rose that night. Three, I had never met Corbin and Ashley and Rose were going on and on about how cool he is. Four, well, I just hadn’t seen them in three weeks. Five, I was about to die of boredom!
I understand, though. It was kind of late, considering they had to drive two hours to get home already.
While I waited for Ashley to get home, I read an entire magazine and watched three episodes of who even knows what on the Disney Channel. Her and Rose were stuck in traffic, so I had a lot of time on my hands.
Ashley got home around eight and went straight into the shower. She had gotten a, er, surprise at Warped Tour, which definitely sucks for her.
When she came back, I told her all about my day, which didn’t take too long. Then she gave me a detailed play-by-play of every single little thing that happened at Warped Tour.
On the one hand, I wanted to know everything that happened. On the other, I really wasn’t in the mood to sit and listen to what a good time she had and how much closer she feels to everyone she hung out with. I’m too selfish. The only part that ended up bothering me, though, was when she complained about stupid little things like there being too many scene kids or too much mud in her shoes. That’s only because I would have killed to be there.
I tried to tell her that, but she kept cutting me off. I don’t blame her. I’m a complaining machine. I don’t mind when people tell me that, but I do mind when people belittle my problems. She may have thought “it’s not that big of a deal,” but, to me, it was.
So I stopped talking. I bottled everything up, lay down in my bed, and kept my back to her so she wouldn’t see the hot, angry tears running down my face. I wasn’t mad at her. I wasn’t sad at all anymore. I was mad at my parents.
I had a killer headache. Eventually, I fell asleep.
SUNDAY
Ashley’s phone ringing woke us up at two in the morning. Neither of us remembers waking up or answering the phone, but all of a sudden we were talking to a very drunk Greg.
I wasn’t tired anymore, but Ashley was, so we both fell asleep again.
We woke up at about eleven. Ashley’s mom had asked us to go to her house at twelve or twelve-thirty to look after her dog, Charlie, so we got ready to go.
We should’ve brought a movie or something, because, when we got to Ashley’s house, there was absolutely nothing to do. We went online, but there was no one good to talk to.
We ate. Go figure. Then we watched the last few episodes of the first season of The OC, which she had never seen.
Ashley’s family got home during the last episode, so we moved out of the family room and into her bedroom.
My parents picked me up around six. I had to go to church. Blah, blah boring.
I went home after and decided to move my keyboard, which I haven’t played in three years, into my room. It’s depressing. I can still play everything, but I’m a hell of a lot slower at it than I used to be. And my left hand sucks.
I watched the first four episodes of 24. I absolutely love Kiefer Sutherland, because who names their kid Kiefer? He looks exactly like Ashley’s dad, which is amazing with this show, because it’s like watching Mr. Corser running around and shooting people.
I talked to a few people on the phone and made plans for Monday and Tuesday, which is pretty strange. I actually had plans for all week. Usually I never make plans ahead.
I sat in my bed and watched TV and ate sour scream and onion Pringles. Around four in the morning, I went to sleep.
MONDAY
Ashley and I went to the gym at eleven. They measured our body fat and all that. My BMI is lower than it’s supposed to be. That’s not a surprise, seeing as I’m a skeleton. It’s like, “Hello, I’m Jessica’s ribcage. Look at me and how I stick out! I’m so gross! YEAH!” I don’t know why, though. My mom said, “I get fat just watching you eat.” It’s true. I’m a pig.
Michelle the Trainer said that she had an abs workout ready for us, but we turned her down. I don’t know about everyone else, but I’d rather be able to walk than have cut abs. We walked on the treadmill for forty-five minutes instead.
After we quote-unquote “worked out,” Ashley and I got some more Subway sandwiches. She got a six-inch and I got a foot-long plus another six inch. Shut up; we have a “Buy One Six Inch, Get Another Free” thing on a discount card, so it made sense. I only ate one at a time, anyway.
My mom drove Ashley back to her house.
We were supposed to have a picnic on Monday, but Angela looked at the weather reports, and it said that it was supposed to rain a lot. We decided to have a movie day.
Of course, it never ended up raining, but oh well. We had fun, anyway.
Angela picked me up around two to go to Blockbuster. She was supposed to come earlier, but got interested in a movie. I didn’t mind. I just watched another four episodes of 24 while I waited for her.
At Blockbuster, Angela and I got Tristan and Isolde, Thumbsucker, and two more disks from the first season of 24, and I filled her in on everything that had happened since the last time we had hung out.
Rose met us back at my house. We decided to watch Tristan and Isolde first, while they each ate two Hot Pockets.
It’s a good thing we didn’t see that movie in theaters, because everyone would have hated us. We had a little commentary going, and it was pretty hilarious. I was the movie psychic. Yeah!
Ashley and Genny showed up around seven. Angela went home.
Rose, Ashley, Genny, and I sat around talking in my room for a while. We played the Sims and made people who looked like us, or as close as the game allowed.
JT and Corbin said they might come down and hang out, so we talked on the phone with them. They didn’t end up coming, so we called them back a million times to annoy them.
We all decided we were bored of my house and went to the Walk, which made me feel so lame. The Walk is where we hung out in like seventh grade. But there was nothing else to do, so. . . .
We sat in front of the Quiznos, which was closed, and called random people. Ken, Ryan Thiel, Ben Benson. . .those guys.
Genny and I each got a Jamba Juice, which Ashley and Rose stole a million sips from.
Rose dropped Ashley off at her house and then drove Genny and me to mine.
Genny made a very ugly Sim family and built them a house. She had never done that before and was very proud, as she should be. I felt like such a nerd when she’d ask where to find a certain building material or piece of furniture and I could tell her without looking at the screen.
I talked to Greg on the phone for a half an hour, and then we called Ashley and forced her to stay awake on the phone until about two.
After that, we watched Thumbsucker. I thought it was a pretty good movie. She said it was, “Okay.” Genny is extremely hard to please.
Soon after the movie was over, Genny and I lay down in my bed, me the normal way and her upside down with her feet in my face, like we always do and fell asleep.
TUESDAY
Genny and I woke up at twelve. I finally got to sleep in again!
I called Angela, Ashley, and Rose from my bed to confirm picnic plans. We decided on Tuesday, because the weather reports proclaimed sunny skies. They lied. Again.
Angela went to Publix to get picnic foods, while Ashley took forever to get ready. Angela ended up getting to my house a half hour to an hour before Ashley showed up.
When Ashley finally arrived, we headed to Betty Stradler Park. We were a bit nervous, because we could hear thunder booming nearby, but we knew there was covering at the park if we should need it.
We were going to wait for Rose before we started to eat, but Ang needed to leave to go to cheerleading practice and then the Brand New show in Ft. Lauderdale in forty-five minutes, so we ate without her.
Everyone but Genny had this sandwich-bread, mayo, turkey and chips, mayo, ham and chips, mayo, bologna and chips, mayo, salami, mayo, bread. Genny doesn’t like bread, so she just rolled up a slice of turkey and put it between two chips.
There were crazy birds all around us, so we threw a chip in the middle of the floor. Every time a bird would come close to it, we would scream and scare it away. We’re so sweet, right?
After we ate and cleaned up and threw almost all of the rest of the food to the birds, we decided to head back to the car to wait for Rose. It looked like it was about to rain.
The second we shut the car doors, the rain started to fall. Ang and I looked at each other and ran outside simultaneously. We cart wheeled and ran up and down the grassy hills.
Angela went back into the car and Ashley came out to join me in the rain. We jumped in puddles and made Indian noises with our hands over our mouths. It was a really good time.
When the rain calmed down a little, Genny and Angela came back outside. There was a small skate park across the field. It was closed, but we really wanted to slide down all the ramps, so we walked over anyway.
There turned out to be a rip in the fence. We climbed over the caution tape and through the hole. I’m so glad we did. Sliding down the ramps was a lot of fun.
After that, Angela drove Ashley, Genny, and me to my house. We decided to just meet Rose there.
Rose, Genny, Ashley, and I sat around in my room for a while.
Rob called Ashley. We were all supposed to go to Rapids the next day and he didn’t want to, so we all tried to convince him, me having to tell him that Rapids was now Japan and debating on how to pronounce the last name Oestreicher. I had to write it down. I didn’t know what on earth he was spelling. “Ostrich? No. . . . Maybe orchestra?”
We took long videos with my camera and looked at all the sound settings on my keyboard. Some sound like aliens. It’s creepy. The “Doohs” are hilarious, though.
After that, Genny had to leave to go see Brand New. Ashley, Rose, and I decided to watch Taking Lives. I let Rose decide between Taking Lives and Se7en, both of which she hadn’t seen, and she said to pick the less gross of the two-definitely Taking Lives.
Midway through the movie, my mom came home from Blockbuster. I had asked her to rent Junebug and Breakfast on Pluto and told her that if she only got one to get the latter. Of course, she came home with only Junebug. Thanks, mom.
Towards the end of the movie, Ashley left. She had already seen Taking Lives with me a thousand times anyway.
Rose loved the movie. I knew she would, because it’s one of my favorites. She left when it was finished.
I ate dinner with my family and my sister’s friends, Mack and Lea.
After that I packed for Ashley’s birthday trip to Orlando to go to Blizzard Beach and see Brand New on Thursday. I cleaned my room and listened to Brand New obsessively.
I watched Junebug, and Amy Adams was hilarious. She reminded me of my relatives from Georgia.
Around midnight, I called Angela to see how the Brand New show was. She said it was amazing. Jesse had gained a few, but was still cute. They played three new songs. Most of the stuff was from Deja Entendu. They didn’t play Failure by Design, but at least they played Soco Amaretto Lime. You know, all the deats. After talking to her, I was a million times more excited, if that’s even possible. I wished I could speed up time.
The second I hung up with Angela, Ashley called. She couldn’t sleep. I swear I’m converting her. She told me she couldn’t come to Rapids because her mom found out about us going to her house when she wasn’t home. Shit. I told her that my punishment (not going to Warped Tour) was way worse, and she agreed without a word of argument.
After I hung up with her, I begged my sister to let me use her internet. She acted like the old lady she is, but eventually gave in, because I kept insulting her in front of her friends.
I went back to my room and watched the Disney Channel after leaving a few people Live Journal comments. I’m such a nerd.
I fell asleep around two. I was so drained.
WEDNESDAY
Wednesday I was supposed to go to Rapids with Rose, JT, and Corbin. I had my mom wake me up before eight, because that’s when she was leaving and I sleep through alarms.
Rose called me at nine. I was all ready and thought she was calling to say she’d be coming to get me soon. We had to get an early start, because we were supposed to go to Stuart to pick up JT and Corbin.
She was actually calling to say that we weren’t going any more. JT was supposed to move down to Miami to live with his dad that day. That was exciting, in a way, because he’d be going to the same school as us next year. He didn’t end up moving, though, which sucks. I guess it’s good for him, though.
I contemplating going back to sleep but didn’t, because I wanted to be able to fall asleep earlier than I usually do at night.
I watched four more episodes of 24 and read some more of my book. Later a shipment from Amazon came. I thought my mom had just ordered my summer reading books, Life of Pi and The March, but it turns out she ordered a ton more for me as well: Fahrenheit 451, Rules of Prey, the first Maximum Ride book, Red Dragon, Silence of the Lambs, and Hannibal.
I called Greg to see if he was coming to the Brand New show Friday to see if he could buy a ticket off of someone and talked to him until he had to get ready for his orthodontist appointment.
Stephanie had an orthodontist appointment, too. She forgot about it until 2:25. It was scheduled for 2:30, and she had friends over.
While her and my mom rushed over, I watched Crybaby with her friends.
After she came home, I watched TV and finished packing until Rose came and picked me up to head over to Ashley’s around 5:30.
We sat around in Ashley’s room for a while, showing each other what we planned to wear to the show (or what they planned to wear. . .I still had no idea) and eating Gushers.
We had fajitas, Ashley’s favorite, for her birthday dinner. She ate the whole thing. Shock! Just kidding, just kidding.
Katie arrived soon after that. She gave Ashley her present, a really pretty shirt from Charlotte Russe.
After that, Ashley opened the rest of her presents. I felt bad, because I didn’t have her card and stuff. I had tried to print out her picture so I could make one the night before, but, of course, the printer broke. She said it was okay, though. I’ll get it to her as soon as I can, which will be after I get back from Tampa.
Ashley got rechargeable batteries, two travel bags, a fake car (her mom said, “Well, you said you wanted a car on your list” Har har har), and iPod speakers.
When we finished with presents and they ate their ice cream cake (I hate ice cream cake), Greg called. I talked to him for a while, as did almost everyone else, until Katie made us all get off the phone and the computer.
We made rope headbands like the one Ashley has. She wants us to start “her trend” (hers because no one else has ever worn a rope headband before, right?).
The four of us talked and talked and never shut up. We contemplated “pullin’ pullin’ pullin’ an aaaaaaall-nighter” (thanks you, Mary-Kate and Ashley sing-a-long videos) and just not sleeping since we’d have to get up at four in the morning anyway, but decided against it. That didn’t mean we couldn’t stay up late, though, which we did.
BRAND NEW SHOW
Rose, Ashley, Katie, and I got to Downtown Disney somewhere around 5:30. Rose called Greg to see where he was in line. Finding him took forever, because we’re all idiots. You see, if you spend up to ten dollars eating at the House of Blues, you got to cut the actual line. We didn’t know that. So we kept walking back and forth looking for Greg in the crowd that ate there.
Finally, we found Greg. Ashley’s mom met him, and Ashley almost died. I don’t get the big deal, but whatever. She was embarrassed by her mom’s greeting.
It was so hot outside. I can’t believe we actually complained that we were too cold while we were at Blizzard Beach. We sat outside for almost two hours, talking and sweating and making fun of lame people.
Around seven they opened the doors. We thought we’d by right up front since Greg had gotten us such a good place in line. But then he wanted to buy a shirt. We waited for him for ten minutes while the crowd filed in. Greg eventually told us to go get a spot and he’d catch up with us, but we ended up way in the back.
The five of us stayed pretty much in the same place for the two opening bands. Color Revolt was pretty good, but Nightmare of You was long and terrible. We were all so impatient, standing there with our arms crossed while Nightmare of You played long song after long song. Later Rose and I said that it must be a rule that the second band should suck, because it was the same thing with Jesse Sykes (or however you spell it) when we saw Bright Eyes at the House of Blues.
Toward the end of Nightmare of You’s set, we started maneuvering through the crowd. We wanted to get up front or, at least, in front of this annoying kid wearing a hat who kept dancing and blocking our view.
After Nightmare of You stopped playing, the crowd started pushing. It was ridiculous; Brand New wasn’t even close to being on yet, and the crowd was already obnoxious. In a way, though, it was to our benefit. If the crowd pushed a certain way, we could walk right through.
Greg was the head of our line, then me, then Ashley, then Rose and Katie. I kept telling Ashley to hold my arm, but she didn’t, and Greg and I lost everybody else. I couldn’t even see them anymore.
By the time Brand New started playing, Greg and I were only six people from the barrier. Unfortunately, everyone else six people from the barrier was extremely pushy and obnoxious. There were four hundred people who wanted to see Brand New as much as we did. You can imagine how this could be a problem.
During the second or third song, I got pushed to the ground. It was so scary. More and more people kept falling on me, and Greg just kept trying to pull me up. I looked around me to see who I was tangled in. This fat girl had her arm over one of my legs. I yelled, “Please get your arm off my leg!” She told me she couldn’t. “You have to get your arm off my leg, so I can stand!” She just kept trying to pull on Greg. Eventually, my yelling annoyed her enough for her to move off me.
Unfortunately, when I got back in my feet, I was the wrong way, with my back to the stage. No matter how far I turned me head, I couldn’t see Brand New. If I looked straight forward, I saw Greg and, behind him, a huge mosh pit. If you’ve ever stood backwards in a crowd (although I have no idea why you would), you know that it’s even harder to stay standing, because the crowd always leans the wrong way.
There was nothing I could do, though. I couldn’t even move my head, let alone my body. I was facing this girl who was just as crushed down as I was (although she was at least facing the right direction). It was funny, so I said, “Hello” and she laughed.
After the song was over, I managed to turn myself around and was happy to see that I was only two people away from the barrier. That’s where we stayed for the rest of the show, me there and Greg behind me.
My only complaint is that the girl in front of me had an obnoxious sweaty bun that kept getting into my mouth. That was pretty gross.
I can’t complain about anyone being sweaty though. Whether it was my sweat or everyone else’s, I don’t know, but it was dripping down my face. I was completely soaked. I have a fuzzy sticker on my wallet that says, “I <3 The Unborn” (creepiest sticker ever, given to me in eighth grade on our Chastity Day field trip), and I sweat so much the hair came off. Disgusting.
I considered leaving the crowd, because I felt very lightheaded and couldn’t’ breathe, what with people two or three times my size crushing my organs and elbowing my throat. A security guard came and saved me, though. He poured water down my throat and all over my face. It was refreshing enough to keep me there the rest of the time.
Even without the water, I probably wouldn’t have ended up leaving, though. We were right in front of Jessie Lacey. He was amazing and funny. “It’s good to come back to something you haven’t done in a while and feel like you never stopped. You know, not that we were gone. We were busy. . .just not busy with you.” Thanks a lot. “Not that I mean that in a bad way!”
Toward the end of the show, during Seventy Times 7, people started to crowd surf a lot. During the whole song, I wasn’t kicked once. I was surprised. Me getting kicked is almost a tradition by now.
But, of course, after the song ended, a fat girl came tumbling through without warning and landed on my head. I thought my spine broke at first. Everyone around me was like, “What the hell?! You landed on her head!” and “That’s why fat people shouldn’t crowd surf!” and “A warning would’ve been nice!” I’m glad they yelled at her, because I was too busy saying, “Fuck!” and rubbing my head.
The set was pretty long. I think they played about sixteen songs, more or less. Most were off of Deja Entendu, three were new, and the rest were from their first CD. They played most of my favorite stuff. The crowd was pretty upset that they didn’t play “Jude Law and a Semester Abroad.” They were chanting “Jude Law” as the curtain closed, but there was no encore.
After the show, I couldn’t hear anything. My ears had popped at some point. It was weird, because I could hear my breathing in my ear, but that was about it. Rose, Ashley, and Katie kept saying I was talking too loud or that I sounded nasally. I couldn’t tell.
Greg left to go get his shirt from the girl who held it for him, and we headed back to the car and the hotel. When we were back at the room, I went and got ice and water to eat and drink. It felt so good on my throat.
Everyone went to bed almost right away. I was still pretty awake, but I figured my body needed a rest. It was pitch black in the room, anyway.
if you're going to read it at all!
Part 2 of the stuff I wrote is after the pictures.
PICTURES OF ME AND ASHLEY:
Oh, hooooome.
1.
Rootbeer in a bottle is just better.
2.
3-4.
5.
6.
7.
My hair got longer while I was in Tampa.
WAY longer.
8.
9.
HAH!
10.
People are littering the playgrounds of my youth with condoms!
HAHHAHAHH!
Oh man.
11.
12.
Yes, there are cheerleading piggies on my underwear.
13.
14.
15.
16-17.
18.
19.
20.
Tackle!
21.
22.
Our feet were so gross.
Ashley: "THERE'S POOP ON MY TOE!"
LOOK AT WHAT I GOT ASHLEY FOR HER BIRTHDAY!
I shopped for her at a cheesey Florida gift shop.
I got her this,
a magnet with some naked guy butts that says "Florida",
a post card with some fatties on the beach,
some orca things from Sea World because those are her favorite animals,
and forty dollars.
23.
It's a pufferfish.
She named it Jessica.
:)
24.
It has cool googley eyes.
25.
Ashley's idea.
26.
"They look like little animals"
Part 2:
SATURDAY
Ashley woke me up at eight. She had to get ready for Warped Tour. . .I had to wallow in self pity. . .you know, the usual.
I didn’t exactly get up, per se. I more like listened to her getting ready with my eyes closed. I was still in bed, but I was awake. I swear!
I opened my eyes to find Ashley face a few inches away from mine with a huge, toothy smile on. I screamed.
When Rose called to say she was on her way to get Ashley somewhere around ten, I got up. I found my muscles were even worse than they had been the night before. I could barely walk.
Ashley left and I thought, “Shit. There’s nothing to do.”
I thought Greg, Rob, JT, and Corbin would be coming over later, so I started to clean my room. I’m not usually neat, but I didn’t really think they needed to see Ashley and my underwear and Mini Muffins wrappers all over the floor.
Around ten or eleven, Evan called me. He wanted to hang out. I figured this would be the best day since Rose and Ashley were all the way in Miami, where they couldn’t, to my knowledge, show up and kill him. Had they known I was hanging out with him, though, they may have found a way.
I showered and finished cleaning my room while I waited for Evan to come. He showed up between eleven and twelve. I had told him that he’d probably just have to sit around while I cleaned, but I was already done, so we went to eat lunch at Denny’s.
Denny’s used to have coloring sheets of Candy Land characters. We’d all just turn the pages over and draw our own masterpieces, if you will, on the back. A while ago, they took those away, which definitely put a damper on my Denny’s experience.
However, when we walked in this time, there were new papers. These weren’t for coloring, though; they were alien masks. Although I’m sixteen and Evan’s almost eighteen, we have the maturity of six-year-olds. This is how it is with all of my friends. That’s probably why people like us. We’re not afraid to act stupid. Most people are, so they think everything we do is hilarious, from our spontaneous dance moves to our noise imitations.
Evan and I grabbed the alien masks the second we saw them. As the host led us to our table, he laughed and said, “You took the masks?”
We looked and him seriously and replied, “Well, yes.”
I read the story on the mask paper.
“’Aliens from all over the galaxy come to the D-Zone.’ They’re calling Denny’s the D-Zone now?!”
Evan pointed to his crotch. “This is my D-Zone.”
“Evan, you have a Denny’s in your pants? TMI!” I’m hilarious. I told this story to Angela later and she said I should have told him that he must have a lot of room in there.
We wore our alien masks almost the entire time we were in there. Evan’s was yellow; mine was red. They came with paper walkie-talkies, which we talked through the whole time. They had alien-language translations on them.
Ee-anduk=Thank you.
Zip-zeed=Please.
Por nixto=My name is.
“Ch. Por nixto Jessica. Ch.”
“Ch. I’m Evan. Ch.”
“Ch. I love the D-Zone. Ch.”
“Me, too!”
“Ch. You’re not talking into your walkie-talkie. I can’t hear you. Ch.”
“Ch. Sorry. Ch.”
“Ch. Die, zip-zeed. Ch.”
After I ate my buffalo chicken strips and he ate his American Grand Slam, we left the D-Zone and drove back to my house.
Once we got there, we headed to my room and played Zobmondo. If you’ve never heard of Zobmondo, it’s a book of “Would You Rather” questions, such as, “Would you rather chew a mole off of someone’s neck or drink a half cup of your best friend’s blood?” or “Would you rather, when faced with a grizzly bear, be armed with a guitar made of solid maple or a saxophone?” or “Would you rather sleep in a human-size nest in a tree or in a burrow underground?” Every question is followed by a few random facts related to the question asked, such as, “If several people meet up with a grizzly bear, they should stay calm and link arms with each other. Confronted with a larger creature, the bear or likely to retreat. Supposedly.”
Zobmondo was created to help break the ice at social gatherings, but I read it to everyone. I even have the board game.
After reading for a while, we stopped and just talked about things. I yelled at Evan a little more for his recent mistakes, ahem, and basically owned him. What else is new? Then he told me all about orientation and how he can’t wait to go to college. He made fun of me, because I have to stay here for two more years. God, I wish I could leave.
Around three, Evan left. He was going camping and partying in Orlando with his friend Adam and some girls they met.
I thought everyone would come home from Warped Tour around five. That’s what Ashley told me before she left. I had no idea what was going on, though. I had tried to call her, but I couldn’t hear her talking when she picked up. I found out later that The Bled was on. God, I’m jealous. At least I saw them back in November.
I didn’t know what else to do, so I watched Casanova. It was over around five. After that, I went and watched half of Anchorman with Stephanie. Ashley called and said her and Rose were heading home, but the boys weren’t coming.
That sucked on so many levels. One, I had no social contact besides Evan Dinosaur all day (sorry, Evan). Two, their not meeting my parents meant that there was no chance in the world that Ashley and I could go to JT’s with Rose that night. Three, I had never met Corbin and Ashley and Rose were going on and on about how cool he is. Four, well, I just hadn’t seen them in three weeks. Five, I was about to die of boredom!
I understand, though. It was kind of late, considering they had to drive two hours to get home already.
While I waited for Ashley to get home, I read an entire magazine and watched three episodes of who even knows what on the Disney Channel. Her and Rose were stuck in traffic, so I had a lot of time on my hands.
Ashley got home around eight and went straight into the shower. She had gotten a, er, surprise at Warped Tour, which definitely sucks for her.
When she came back, I told her all about my day, which didn’t take too long. Then she gave me a detailed play-by-play of every single little thing that happened at Warped Tour.
On the one hand, I wanted to know everything that happened. On the other, I really wasn’t in the mood to sit and listen to what a good time she had and how much closer she feels to everyone she hung out with. I’m too selfish. The only part that ended up bothering me, though, was when she complained about stupid little things like there being too many scene kids or too much mud in her shoes. That’s only because I would have killed to be there.
I tried to tell her that, but she kept cutting me off. I don’t blame her. I’m a complaining machine. I don’t mind when people tell me that, but I do mind when people belittle my problems. She may have thought “it’s not that big of a deal,” but, to me, it was.
So I stopped talking. I bottled everything up, lay down in my bed, and kept my back to her so she wouldn’t see the hot, angry tears running down my face. I wasn’t mad at her. I wasn’t sad at all anymore. I was mad at my parents.
I had a killer headache. Eventually, I fell asleep.
SUNDAY
Ashley’s phone ringing woke us up at two in the morning. Neither of us remembers waking up or answering the phone, but all of a sudden we were talking to a very drunk Greg.
I wasn’t tired anymore, but Ashley was, so we both fell asleep again.
We woke up at about eleven. Ashley’s mom had asked us to go to her house at twelve or twelve-thirty to look after her dog, Charlie, so we got ready to go.
We should’ve brought a movie or something, because, when we got to Ashley’s house, there was absolutely nothing to do. We went online, but there was no one good to talk to.
We ate. Go figure. Then we watched the last few episodes of the first season of The OC, which she had never seen.
Ashley’s family got home during the last episode, so we moved out of the family room and into her bedroom.
My parents picked me up around six. I had to go to church. Blah, blah boring.
I went home after and decided to move my keyboard, which I haven’t played in three years, into my room. It’s depressing. I can still play everything, but I’m a hell of a lot slower at it than I used to be. And my left hand sucks.
I watched the first four episodes of 24. I absolutely love Kiefer Sutherland, because who names their kid Kiefer? He looks exactly like Ashley’s dad, which is amazing with this show, because it’s like watching Mr. Corser running around and shooting people.
I talked to a few people on the phone and made plans for Monday and Tuesday, which is pretty strange. I actually had plans for all week. Usually I never make plans ahead.
I sat in my bed and watched TV and ate sour scream and onion Pringles. Around four in the morning, I went to sleep.
MONDAY
Ashley and I went to the gym at eleven. They measured our body fat and all that. My BMI is lower than it’s supposed to be. That’s not a surprise, seeing as I’m a skeleton. It’s like, “Hello, I’m Jessica’s ribcage. Look at me and how I stick out! I’m so gross! YEAH!” I don’t know why, though. My mom said, “I get fat just watching you eat.” It’s true. I’m a pig.
Michelle the Trainer said that she had an abs workout ready for us, but we turned her down. I don’t know about everyone else, but I’d rather be able to walk than have cut abs. We walked on the treadmill for forty-five minutes instead.
After we quote-unquote “worked out,” Ashley and I got some more Subway sandwiches. She got a six-inch and I got a foot-long plus another six inch. Shut up; we have a “Buy One Six Inch, Get Another Free” thing on a discount card, so it made sense. I only ate one at a time, anyway.
My mom drove Ashley back to her house.
We were supposed to have a picnic on Monday, but Angela looked at the weather reports, and it said that it was supposed to rain a lot. We decided to have a movie day.
Of course, it never ended up raining, but oh well. We had fun, anyway.
Angela picked me up around two to go to Blockbuster. She was supposed to come earlier, but got interested in a movie. I didn’t mind. I just watched another four episodes of 24 while I waited for her.
At Blockbuster, Angela and I got Tristan and Isolde, Thumbsucker, and two more disks from the first season of 24, and I filled her in on everything that had happened since the last time we had hung out.
Rose met us back at my house. We decided to watch Tristan and Isolde first, while they each ate two Hot Pockets.
It’s a good thing we didn’t see that movie in theaters, because everyone would have hated us. We had a little commentary going, and it was pretty hilarious. I was the movie psychic. Yeah!
Ashley and Genny showed up around seven. Angela went home.
Rose, Ashley, Genny, and I sat around talking in my room for a while. We played the Sims and made people who looked like us, or as close as the game allowed.
JT and Corbin said they might come down and hang out, so we talked on the phone with them. They didn’t end up coming, so we called them back a million times to annoy them.
We all decided we were bored of my house and went to the Walk, which made me feel so lame. The Walk is where we hung out in like seventh grade. But there was nothing else to do, so. . . .
We sat in front of the Quiznos, which was closed, and called random people. Ken, Ryan Thiel, Ben Benson. . .those guys.
Genny and I each got a Jamba Juice, which Ashley and Rose stole a million sips from.
Rose dropped Ashley off at her house and then drove Genny and me to mine.
Genny made a very ugly Sim family and built them a house. She had never done that before and was very proud, as she should be. I felt like such a nerd when she’d ask where to find a certain building material or piece of furniture and I could tell her without looking at the screen.
I talked to Greg on the phone for a half an hour, and then we called Ashley and forced her to stay awake on the phone until about two.
After that, we watched Thumbsucker. I thought it was a pretty good movie. She said it was, “Okay.” Genny is extremely hard to please.
Soon after the movie was over, Genny and I lay down in my bed, me the normal way and her upside down with her feet in my face, like we always do and fell asleep.
TUESDAY
Genny and I woke up at twelve. I finally got to sleep in again!
I called Angela, Ashley, and Rose from my bed to confirm picnic plans. We decided on Tuesday, because the weather reports proclaimed sunny skies. They lied. Again.
Angela went to Publix to get picnic foods, while Ashley took forever to get ready. Angela ended up getting to my house a half hour to an hour before Ashley showed up.
When Ashley finally arrived, we headed to Betty Stradler Park. We were a bit nervous, because we could hear thunder booming nearby, but we knew there was covering at the park if we should need it.
We were going to wait for Rose before we started to eat, but Ang needed to leave to go to cheerleading practice and then the Brand New show in Ft. Lauderdale in forty-five minutes, so we ate without her.
Everyone but Genny had this sandwich-bread, mayo, turkey and chips, mayo, ham and chips, mayo, bologna and chips, mayo, salami, mayo, bread. Genny doesn’t like bread, so she just rolled up a slice of turkey and put it between two chips.
There were crazy birds all around us, so we threw a chip in the middle of the floor. Every time a bird would come close to it, we would scream and scare it away. We’re so sweet, right?
After we ate and cleaned up and threw almost all of the rest of the food to the birds, we decided to head back to the car to wait for Rose. It looked like it was about to rain.
The second we shut the car doors, the rain started to fall. Ang and I looked at each other and ran outside simultaneously. We cart wheeled and ran up and down the grassy hills.
Angela went back into the car and Ashley came out to join me in the rain. We jumped in puddles and made Indian noises with our hands over our mouths. It was a really good time.
When the rain calmed down a little, Genny and Angela came back outside. There was a small skate park across the field. It was closed, but we really wanted to slide down all the ramps, so we walked over anyway.
There turned out to be a rip in the fence. We climbed over the caution tape and through the hole. I’m so glad we did. Sliding down the ramps was a lot of fun.
After that, Angela drove Ashley, Genny, and me to my house. We decided to just meet Rose there.
Rose, Genny, Ashley, and I sat around in my room for a while.
Rob called Ashley. We were all supposed to go to Rapids the next day and he didn’t want to, so we all tried to convince him, me having to tell him that Rapids was now Japan and debating on how to pronounce the last name Oestreicher. I had to write it down. I didn’t know what on earth he was spelling. “Ostrich? No. . . . Maybe orchestra?”
We took long videos with my camera and looked at all the sound settings on my keyboard. Some sound like aliens. It’s creepy. The “Doohs” are hilarious, though.
After that, Genny had to leave to go see Brand New. Ashley, Rose, and I decided to watch Taking Lives. I let Rose decide between Taking Lives and Se7en, both of which she hadn’t seen, and she said to pick the less gross of the two-definitely Taking Lives.
Midway through the movie, my mom came home from Blockbuster. I had asked her to rent Junebug and Breakfast on Pluto and told her that if she only got one to get the latter. Of course, she came home with only Junebug. Thanks, mom.
Towards the end of the movie, Ashley left. She had already seen Taking Lives with me a thousand times anyway.
Rose loved the movie. I knew she would, because it’s one of my favorites. She left when it was finished.
I ate dinner with my family and my sister’s friends, Mack and Lea.
After that I packed for Ashley’s birthday trip to Orlando to go to Blizzard Beach and see Brand New on Thursday. I cleaned my room and listened to Brand New obsessively.
I watched Junebug, and Amy Adams was hilarious. She reminded me of my relatives from Georgia.
Around midnight, I called Angela to see how the Brand New show was. She said it was amazing. Jesse had gained a few, but was still cute. They played three new songs. Most of the stuff was from Deja Entendu. They didn’t play Failure by Design, but at least they played Soco Amaretto Lime. You know, all the deats. After talking to her, I was a million times more excited, if that’s even possible. I wished I could speed up time.
The second I hung up with Angela, Ashley called. She couldn’t sleep. I swear I’m converting her. She told me she couldn’t come to Rapids because her mom found out about us going to her house when she wasn’t home. Shit. I told her that my punishment (not going to Warped Tour) was way worse, and she agreed without a word of argument.
After I hung up with her, I begged my sister to let me use her internet. She acted like the old lady she is, but eventually gave in, because I kept insulting her in front of her friends.
I went back to my room and watched the Disney Channel after leaving a few people Live Journal comments. I’m such a nerd.
I fell asleep around two. I was so drained.
WEDNESDAY
Wednesday I was supposed to go to Rapids with Rose, JT, and Corbin. I had my mom wake me up before eight, because that’s when she was leaving and I sleep through alarms.
Rose called me at nine. I was all ready and thought she was calling to say she’d be coming to get me soon. We had to get an early start, because we were supposed to go to Stuart to pick up JT and Corbin.
She was actually calling to say that we weren’t going any more. JT was supposed to move down to Miami to live with his dad that day. That was exciting, in a way, because he’d be going to the same school as us next year. He didn’t end up moving, though, which sucks. I guess it’s good for him, though.
I contemplating going back to sleep but didn’t, because I wanted to be able to fall asleep earlier than I usually do at night.
I watched four more episodes of 24 and read some more of my book. Later a shipment from Amazon came. I thought my mom had just ordered my summer reading books, Life of Pi and The March, but it turns out she ordered a ton more for me as well: Fahrenheit 451, Rules of Prey, the first Maximum Ride book, Red Dragon, Silence of the Lambs, and Hannibal.
I called Greg to see if he was coming to the Brand New show Friday to see if he could buy a ticket off of someone and talked to him until he had to get ready for his orthodontist appointment.
Stephanie had an orthodontist appointment, too. She forgot about it until 2:25. It was scheduled for 2:30, and she had friends over.
While her and my mom rushed over, I watched Crybaby with her friends.
After she came home, I watched TV and finished packing until Rose came and picked me up to head over to Ashley’s around 5:30.
We sat around in Ashley’s room for a while, showing each other what we planned to wear to the show (or what they planned to wear. . .I still had no idea) and eating Gushers.
We had fajitas, Ashley’s favorite, for her birthday dinner. She ate the whole thing. Shock! Just kidding, just kidding.
Katie arrived soon after that. She gave Ashley her present, a really pretty shirt from Charlotte Russe.
After that, Ashley opened the rest of her presents. I felt bad, because I didn’t have her card and stuff. I had tried to print out her picture so I could make one the night before, but, of course, the printer broke. She said it was okay, though. I’ll get it to her as soon as I can, which will be after I get back from Tampa.
Ashley got rechargeable batteries, two travel bags, a fake car (her mom said, “Well, you said you wanted a car on your list” Har har har), and iPod speakers.
When we finished with presents and they ate their ice cream cake (I hate ice cream cake), Greg called. I talked to him for a while, as did almost everyone else, until Katie made us all get off the phone and the computer.
We made rope headbands like the one Ashley has. She wants us to start “her trend” (hers because no one else has ever worn a rope headband before, right?).
The four of us talked and talked and never shut up. We contemplated “pullin’ pullin’ pullin’ an aaaaaaall-nighter” (thanks you, Mary-Kate and Ashley sing-a-long videos) and just not sleeping since we’d have to get up at four in the morning anyway, but decided against it. That didn’t mean we couldn’t stay up late, though, which we did.
BRAND NEW SHOW
Rose, Ashley, Katie, and I got to Downtown Disney somewhere around 5:30. Rose called Greg to see where he was in line. Finding him took forever, because we’re all idiots. You see, if you spend up to ten dollars eating at the House of Blues, you got to cut the actual line. We didn’t know that. So we kept walking back and forth looking for Greg in the crowd that ate there.
Finally, we found Greg. Ashley’s mom met him, and Ashley almost died. I don’t get the big deal, but whatever. She was embarrassed by her mom’s greeting.
It was so hot outside. I can’t believe we actually complained that we were too cold while we were at Blizzard Beach. We sat outside for almost two hours, talking and sweating and making fun of lame people.
Around seven they opened the doors. We thought we’d by right up front since Greg had gotten us such a good place in line. But then he wanted to buy a shirt. We waited for him for ten minutes while the crowd filed in. Greg eventually told us to go get a spot and he’d catch up with us, but we ended up way in the back.
The five of us stayed pretty much in the same place for the two opening bands. Color Revolt was pretty good, but Nightmare of You was long and terrible. We were all so impatient, standing there with our arms crossed while Nightmare of You played long song after long song. Later Rose and I said that it must be a rule that the second band should suck, because it was the same thing with Jesse Sykes (or however you spell it) when we saw Bright Eyes at the House of Blues.
Toward the end of Nightmare of You’s set, we started maneuvering through the crowd. We wanted to get up front or, at least, in front of this annoying kid wearing a hat who kept dancing and blocking our view.
After Nightmare of You stopped playing, the crowd started pushing. It was ridiculous; Brand New wasn’t even close to being on yet, and the crowd was already obnoxious. In a way, though, it was to our benefit. If the crowd pushed a certain way, we could walk right through.
Greg was the head of our line, then me, then Ashley, then Rose and Katie. I kept telling Ashley to hold my arm, but she didn’t, and Greg and I lost everybody else. I couldn’t even see them anymore.
By the time Brand New started playing, Greg and I were only six people from the barrier. Unfortunately, everyone else six people from the barrier was extremely pushy and obnoxious. There were four hundred people who wanted to see Brand New as much as we did. You can imagine how this could be a problem.
During the second or third song, I got pushed to the ground. It was so scary. More and more people kept falling on me, and Greg just kept trying to pull me up. I looked around me to see who I was tangled in. This fat girl had her arm over one of my legs. I yelled, “Please get your arm off my leg!” She told me she couldn’t. “You have to get your arm off my leg, so I can stand!” She just kept trying to pull on Greg. Eventually, my yelling annoyed her enough for her to move off me.
Unfortunately, when I got back in my feet, I was the wrong way, with my back to the stage. No matter how far I turned me head, I couldn’t see Brand New. If I looked straight forward, I saw Greg and, behind him, a huge mosh pit. If you’ve ever stood backwards in a crowd (although I have no idea why you would), you know that it’s even harder to stay standing, because the crowd always leans the wrong way.
There was nothing I could do, though. I couldn’t even move my head, let alone my body. I was facing this girl who was just as crushed down as I was (although she was at least facing the right direction). It was funny, so I said, “Hello” and she laughed.
After the song was over, I managed to turn myself around and was happy to see that I was only two people away from the barrier. That’s where we stayed for the rest of the show, me there and Greg behind me.
My only complaint is that the girl in front of me had an obnoxious sweaty bun that kept getting into my mouth. That was pretty gross.
I can’t complain about anyone being sweaty though. Whether it was my sweat or everyone else’s, I don’t know, but it was dripping down my face. I was completely soaked. I have a fuzzy sticker on my wallet that says, “I <3 The Unborn” (creepiest sticker ever, given to me in eighth grade on our Chastity Day field trip), and I sweat so much the hair came off. Disgusting.
I considered leaving the crowd, because I felt very lightheaded and couldn’t’ breathe, what with people two or three times my size crushing my organs and elbowing my throat. A security guard came and saved me, though. He poured water down my throat and all over my face. It was refreshing enough to keep me there the rest of the time.
Even without the water, I probably wouldn’t have ended up leaving, though. We were right in front of Jessie Lacey. He was amazing and funny. “It’s good to come back to something you haven’t done in a while and feel like you never stopped. You know, not that we were gone. We were busy. . .just not busy with you.” Thanks a lot. “Not that I mean that in a bad way!”
Toward the end of the show, during Seventy Times 7, people started to crowd surf a lot. During the whole song, I wasn’t kicked once. I was surprised. Me getting kicked is almost a tradition by now.
But, of course, after the song ended, a fat girl came tumbling through without warning and landed on my head. I thought my spine broke at first. Everyone around me was like, “What the hell?! You landed on her head!” and “That’s why fat people shouldn’t crowd surf!” and “A warning would’ve been nice!” I’m glad they yelled at her, because I was too busy saying, “Fuck!” and rubbing my head.
The set was pretty long. I think they played about sixteen songs, more or less. Most were off of Deja Entendu, three were new, and the rest were from their first CD. They played most of my favorite stuff. The crowd was pretty upset that they didn’t play “Jude Law and a Semester Abroad.” They were chanting “Jude Law” as the curtain closed, but there was no encore.
After the show, I couldn’t hear anything. My ears had popped at some point. It was weird, because I could hear my breathing in my ear, but that was about it. Rose, Ashley, and Katie kept saying I was talking too loud or that I sounded nasally. I couldn’t tell.
Greg left to go get his shirt from the girl who held it for him, and we headed back to the car and the hotel. When we were back at the room, I went and got ice and water to eat and drink. It felt so good on my throat.
Everyone went to bed almost right away. I was still pretty awake, but I figured my body needed a rest. It was pitch black in the room, anyway.