(Untitled)

[_faith_]

It's the holiday weekend, but I ain't feelin' especially festive

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[ozwolf]

She went to look for me, so I think it's time I faced her. Still not sure what to say though. If anything...I don't know. I wait til she's out in the garden to make my presense known. Nope...not sure what to say.

[_faith_]

I'm sittin' on one of the benches, starin' into space. As soon as I feel him nearby, the uneasy feelin' in my stomach gathers into a hard lump. Somethin's wrong. I don't know what, and I dunno what happened, but somethin' is. I pull in a silent breath, not movin' outwardly, before I say, "Hey."

[ozwolf]

"Hey." I say back. I don't move over nearer her, and I'm glad we're alone. I don't think we'll be interrupted of overheard. "So everything went well at Wolfram and Hart...glad no one was hurt."

[_faith_]

I don't wanna talk about fuckin' Wolfram and Hart. I wanna know why he's suddenly an ice cube, and I also don't wanna know. It's a bad place to be in. Already, I can feel myself mentally tryin' to rebuild the walls I let down for him. I stare straight ahead as I say, "Yeah. Me too."

I tuck my hands underneath my thighs, feelin' my stomach twist inside me.

[_faith_]

"...did it ever occur to you that maybe you should talk to me if you're worried about me?" I ask, my voice tight. Damn you, Wes! He just had to pop off his big mouth, didn't he? I know I'm not bein' reasonable, but I don't really care right now.

"So what, you think the only reason I'm interested in you is 'cause I wanna fuck my way through A.I.?" Might as well cut to the chase.

[ozwolf]

"I tried talking to you. You were pretty far into 'hate Kennedy, must kill' mode, and weren't really very chatty." I say. Still calm. I'm keeping that in place. I have to.

"Just looks like you are." I say. "Are you?"

[_faith_]

"Fuck!" I get up from the bench and kick it over, my booted foot sendin' it flyin'. I can't even describe how I feel right now. All this time, all this bein' patient, all of him tellin' me I can overcome the past, and blah, blah, blah bullshit, and now I get this?

I stop, plant my feet and look at him. "If I was, why the fuck would I still be waitin' around seven months and countin'?" My tone is deadly calm. "Don't you think I woulda moved on to somebody else by now? Hell, C's single."

[ozwolf]

"Other than the fact that you two get along as well as oil and water lately, I'll just ignore that." I say. I don't react to her outburst. "I don't know. You haven't actually had me yet." I point out. "Look, It threw me. Not a lot does."

[_faith_]

I rub my temples with the fingers of one hand, feelin' a pressure headache startin'. You didn't wanna upset me so you stayed away for days? I think. I don't say it, though. I don't think I have a fight in me right now.

"So," I say finally into the long, long silence. "What now?"

[ozwolf]

"Not sure." I say. "Hadn't thought this far." I admit. I give the hint of a smile. "Bad planning on my part."

[_faith_]

I pull my legs up farther and lay my head down on them. I think I've run outta words. I just look at him.

Here we are, stuck in Hell. It's from a song... I dunno which song. Somethin' I heard not long ago.

[ozwolf]

"Want to go somewhere that's not here?" I ask. Maybe we should just go for a walk, or go for a drink, or something. Maybe that would help, and it's showing her that I'm not running off.