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My new roommate has a cat that won't stop trying to bite me. It's like it's the fucking thing's sole purpose in life. And then when I go into my room it sits outside crying like a douche.

It's only a matter of time before I fling it into the ocean.

Comments

[deepshiite]

have you ever video taped its penis?

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i was going to but some dude stole my idea

[deepshiite]

I hate it when that happens.

[death_by_cancer]

sounds like its got the hots for you

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fuck who can blame it

[manjari]

yoooooooouuuuuuuuuu jerk

the cat is your master. this is why you will always fail. no one knows. what. i played with an enormous floppy dildo tonight and it smelled like my little pony. what the hell.

[deepshiite]

what the hell is right.

[manjari]

4 beers. and a friend who routinely gets very dirty birthday presents. =\

[deepshiite]

oh, "a friend"

...ok