Like recently, I found out this girl thought I was "intimidating" when really I'm just socially awkward and some-what shy. So I wasn't invited to her birthday party yesterday even though my other friends were. :/
I come off as this pretentious know-it-all, but im not pretentious. I really do know and care for the things I talk about. Its like (not sounding egocentric) I'm being punished because I know things. I can't help that I like to learn things or find new things.
It makes me mad at myself that I can't find a way to help them understand that its just me. Being shy and socially awkward when you don't fit around people is hard. Its harder because you cant find people who understand this.
I know how you feel. I've been told I come across as stand-offish and unapproachable. I don't intend to do it but I'm always 'on guard'. But I'm so friendly and warm with people once I'm comfortable! I just get shy and nervous even though logically I know I don't have anything to be nervous about.
Mine is not as much about knowing what to say, it's more being afraid of people will think of me. I've been told that shyness is a form of arrogance, and I can understand that... I'm trying to change though because caring too much what people think is exhausting!
i understand and simpathize with how you feel. recently we have had a 20 year old wallflower live in our communal home and i have gotten t study her. though it was hard to help her, because she was an etremely unique case, It made me realize the "mistakes" i had made as a wallflower whe i was younguer.
One big problem is to see yourself as a victim. You're not a victim of the world. you are independantly creating reactions and helping others to react to you every day.
If people dont understand you. and you feel it is important to you (or them) that they do, play with different ways of explaining what you are thinking to them. stick your neck out a little bit farther next time with trying. analyse how they behave and what they do react to. make a game out of trying to be more socially comfortable.
think of the reward! you will be able to feel more comfortable and think of grand things in public in comfort.
its a long journey. but long journeys are most defenetly the best. good luck.
when i use the word victim its because you say "they dont understand me . new people never know how to react to me."
itll be easy for you to hide in your disapoitement + sadness with these individuals. but harder, to try and change it. i say opt for the hardest opition! TRY TRY, discover and TRY!
Comments 7
Like recently, I found out this girl thought I was "intimidating" when really I'm just socially awkward and some-what shy.
So I wasn't invited to her birthday party yesterday even though my other friends were. :/
Reply
I come off as this pretentious know-it-all, but im not pretentious. I really do know and care for the things I talk about. Its like (not sounding egocentric) I'm being punished because I know things. I can't help that I like to learn things or find new things.
It makes me mad at myself that I can't find a way to help them understand that its just me. Being shy and socially awkward when you don't fit around people is hard. Its harder because you cant find people who understand this.
Reply
If it weren't for those defining traits, you wouldn't be you.
You'd be someone else.
And yeah, exactly.
It's why in high school I made friends more easily with the people who were just like me. Haha.
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Mine is not as much about knowing what to say, it's more being afraid of people will think of me. I've been told that shyness is a form of arrogance, and I can understand that... I'm trying to change though because caring too much what people think is exhausting!
Reply
recently we have had a 20 year old wallflower live in our communal home and i have gotten t study her. though it was hard to help her, because she was an etremely unique case, It made me realize the "mistakes" i had made as a wallflower whe i was younguer.
One big problem is to see yourself as a victim. You're not a victim of the world. you are independantly creating reactions and helping others to react to you every day.
If people dont understand you. and you feel it is important to you (or them) that they do, play with different ways of explaining what you are thinking to them. stick your neck out a little bit farther next time with trying. analyse how they behave and what they do react to. make a game out of trying to be more socially comfortable.
think of the reward! you will be able to feel more comfortable and think of grand things in public in comfort.
its a long journey. but long journeys are most defenetly the best. good luck.
Reply
itll be easy for you to hide in your disapoitement + sadness with these individuals.
but harder, to try and change it.
i say opt for the hardest opition! TRY TRY, discover and TRY!
Reply
But I've learned that some people can see more than the awkward oddness. And those people will make all the difference. (:
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