Thirty Nine
Josie lurched forward in her chair, grasping the armrests so fiercely that her knuckles immediately turned white. “What?” she asked shrilly, instantaneously shedding the cool veneer she had previously displayed whenever Toby was mentioned. “What happened? Is he okay?”
Peter cleared his throat and twisted his head sideways to pop his neck. He folded his hands together matter-of-factly and said, “Well, in a way, yes, he’s fine.”
“Well?” Josie asked, her eyebrows raised so far that they threatened to disappear into her hairline.
“Well, he made Josh take him to the emergency room yesterday because he was shaking really badly and his heart was pounding so hard that he could hardly stand up. Josh figured that it’s because he hasn’t been eating or sleeping the entire time we’ve been gone, but Toby honestly thought he was having a heart attack, so they went,” Peter said slowly, cracking his knuckles nervously and twitching his nose every few seconds.
Josie was becoming so enraged at the crawling pace with which Peter was choosing to tell this very upsetting story that her face was turning a most unnatural shade of red. “And?”
“And they monitored him overnight because he was completely freaking out, like constantly rubbing his face and getting chills. Josh said that once they got him up in the room, they sedated him, but he kept waking up every few minutes completely covered it sweat and screaming. Then he’d start crying and fall back to sleep for a while. Josh said it was the scariest thing he’s ever seen in his life.”
“Peter,” Josie said with nostrils flaring, “if you don’t tell me what the doctor said was wrong with him in the next thirty seconds, I honestly believe I’m going to jump across that desk and strangle you.”
For a moment, Peter looked taken aback but when her completely incensed expression didn’t fade, he quickly said, “They diagnosed him with post-traumatic stress disorder.” Without missing a beat, her face changed from furious to confused. Looking very regretful about having to relay this message, Peter scrunched up his face and added, “Because of your…separation. Or whatever.”
Josie was finding it very difficult not to laugh hysterically for some reason. With her mouth curled upwards in a half-smile, she said, “You’re joking, right? I mean, you can’t be serious.”
Peter’s face fell in astonishment and an exasperated sigh escaped his gaping mouth. “Sweetheart, I’m absolutely serious.”
“No,” she said sternly, pushing herself out of the chair, “you’re not.” She stormed out of the library without giving him a chance to respond and went into their bedroom, jerking on her white faux fur jacket and throwing a day-glo pink scarf around her neck before leaving the suite and slamming the door violently behind her.
She was alone on the elevator and as she headed down to the ground floor, not sure where she intended to go by herself in New York City, still wearing her green mini-dress when it was below freezing outside, an impairing wave of guilt swept over her and she burst into tears. When the elevator finally reached its destination, she was crouched down in the corner with her arms covering her head, her face hidden behind her knees as she continued to sob helplessly.
“What can I do to fix it?”
She lifted an arm to peak out and find the source of the inquiry. Viggo stepped into the elevator and sat down on the floor in front of her. He crossed his legs as the doors shut, and when she looked down to find that he was barefoot, she couldn’t help laughing. “Well, that was easy enough,” he said, flashing a crooked smile at her. He turned around and hit the button for the twentieth floor before giving her his undivided attention. “What on Earth has you so upset?”
“It’s just this guy back home,” she replied, wiping the tears from her face. “We had this big fight before I left, and… Well, he was supposed to come with us, but he didn’t, and now he’s just spent the night in the hospital because he’s got post-traumatic stress disorder, and it’s all my fault.”
The doors opened on Viggo’s floor and he stood quickly, offering both hands to help her up before leading her down the hallway to his suite. “Is that who you got that diamond from?” he asked, opening the door for her and nodding at the ring she was still wearing on her right hand.
“Yeah,” she replied, walking in and heading straight for the couch, “It’s not an engagement ring or anything. I don’t know what it is, really. He said it was more serious than a promise ring but was less commitment than an engagement ring, or something like that. He gave it to me after my first-ever photo shoot, at Disney World. We’d only been dating for about a week.”
Viggo had been listening from another room and he suddenly appeared at her side with an embroidered handkerchief in hand. He put one hand on the back of her head and held the handkerchief in the other as he dried her eyes. “A ring like that after only a week?” he asked softly. “That’s some young man you’ve got.”
“He calls me Butterfly,” she choked out before launching into another fit of hysterical tears.
For a moment, Viggo was petrified and completely unsure of how to respond. After gawking at her for a few seconds, he pulled her closer and let her cry on his shoulder. “Maybe you should give him a call. It will make you feel much better.”
Josie sat up and shook her head and obediently blew her nose when Viggo held his handkerchief against it. “No,” she said, scooting away from him and hugging her legs to her chest, forgetting that she was hardly wearing anything and most certainly showing him her underwear. “Last time I called him, he got mad and pretty much hung up on me.”
“Sounds to me like he wants nothing more than to talk to you.” He waited for her to reply, but she did nothing other than put her head on her knees and look emotionlessly at the window. “I can’t stand to see such a pretty girl so upset,” he finally said. “Would it make you feel better to get out of here?”
“Where would we go?” she asked, sniffling and looking at him with widened eyes glossed over with tears.
He stood up and offered his hand. When she accepted, he held on tightly and led her towards the door. “I’m sure we’ll think of something.”
_____________
Aside from the one time her parents had taken her to St. Augustine when she was five years old, Josie had never had the opportunity to ride in a horse-drawn carriage. As she and Viggo shared a wool blanket, he told her all about the horses he owned, comparing and contrasting their temperaments to that of the horse currently leading them through Central Park. He supplemented with long stories to emphasize his points, gesturing excitedly with his hands, a boastful gleam in his eyes. The conversation quickly turned to his son Henry who was currently visiting his mother-Viggo’s ex-wife-in the mid-west, and Josie couldn’t remember ever seeing someone so proud of a child.
“How old is he?” she asked, her voice cheerful and inquisitive, all trace of her emotional distress gone after only an hour of Viggo’s colorful storytelling.
A short laugh escaped him and he looked down at the floor of the carriage, smiling uncomfortably as he said, “Not much younger than you, truth be told.”
“Ah,” she said, suddenly feeling a little strange. She looked out over the snow-covered trees and wondered just what she was doing by spending time with someone like Viggo in the first place.
After a few minutes of conversational silence covered up by the loud clopping of horse hooves and the occasional whinny, Viggo sighed and said, “Tell me more about this young man of yours. What was your fight about?”
“Oh,” she said, turning her head so quickly to look at him that for a second she felt excruciating pain shoot down her spine. “He was having very serious jealousy problems because in the whole month that we were actually dating, I had stopped by my ex-husband’s house two different times to see my dog.” She sighed before adding, “He got nearly everything in the divorce, including the dog and the house.”
Viggo was quiet for a second, thinking about the situation before politely asking, “Did you give him any reason to be jealous, or to suspect any kind of reunion between you and your ex-husband?”
“No, I didn’t,” she said, crossing her arms in annoyance at the situation, “but the last girl he dated was a complete slut and ran around on him all the time. So, lucky me, I get to take the brunt of her fuck-up.”
“And this was what caused the major fight?” he asked to make sure he had the facts straight. “This is what broke the two of you up even though he was serious enough to give you a ring like that?”
Josie was feeling something far beyond exasperation, but at the same time, she found it very therapeutic to discuss things with an unbiased individual who seemed to have more relationship experience than everyone else in her life combined. “That’s the thing,” she said, shaking her head before he caught her gaze. She lost her breath for a moment as his understanding eyes seemed to look right through her. She cleared her throat and forced herself to look away before continuing. “I’m not even completely sure that we actually broke up. I mean, yeah, I’ve only talked to him once in almost two weeks, and he stayed in Florida instead of coming with me like he was supposed to, but neither of us ever said we were broken up. Or even taking a break or anything.”
Another silence was filled with familiar horse-sounds, and Viggo asking the driver to take them through the park again. Although they barely knew each other, somehow their silences were comfortable. Josie found that it was much easier to think with him sitting soundlessly at her side, holding her hand and looking off into the distance; she didn’t get overly emotional and her thoughts were much clearer.
“I think he really loved me, Viggo,” she said after twenty minutes devoid of conversation. “The first time I ever told him that I loved him, he cried because he was so happy. And he always told me that the day we met was the day he started truly believing in love at first sight.”
“Josie, if you miss him so much, just call him,” Viggo suggested gently. “The worst that can happen is he’ll hang up on you again, but I sincerely doubt that he will. The two of you just need to talk things out. This entire thing seems like a huge misunderstanding to me.”
_____________
Josie and Viggo parted ways when the elevator reached the 19th floor. Holding both of her hands in his, he bent down and kissed her on the cheek, his lips lingering a little longer than Josie had expected. Her cheeks filled with hot blood, turning her face a delicate shade of crimson, and she bashfully said goodbye as the elevator doors closed between them. Before she even had to knock on the door of her suite, it was thrown open.
“Josie!” She was tackled with a giant hug so quickly that she didn’t have time to see who was on the giving end of it.
“Josh?” she asked in disbelief, staring over his shoulder at Peter who was perched on the back of the couch looking terribly pleased with himself.
“God, I’ve never been so happy to see a girl in all my life,” he said, holding her at arms length before pulling her against him again and squeezing her so hard that she was merely seconds away from blacking out. “Peter said you’d left in a rage, and I know you’ve never been in the City before, and I was just… Well, I’m just ecstatic that you’re back and all in one piece!”
“Is Toby here, too?” she asked, her eyes lighting up hopefully as she bit her lip in anticipation of what she was sure would be a positive answer.
Josh’s face fell and he glanced back at Peter for support of some kind. Peter plastered his face with an innocent look, and Josh sighed. “No, sweetie, I’m afraid he’s not,” he said, putting an arm around her and leading her to the couch. “He’s spending some time with our parents in Atlanta. He said he couldn’t-”
“Josh, come look at these flowers Josie got yesterday,” he said quickly, hopping off the back of the sofa and getting an uncomfortably firm grip on one of Josh’s arms, skillfully steering him towards the kitchen.
Josie listened to them arguing back and forth in whispered tones that she couldn’t understand, but she didn’t need to hear them to know what Josh was going to say next. Toby said he couldn’t bear to be in their house anymore, at least not for a while, because that house was now full of her memory and he was trying to avoid that at all costs. “Peter, it’s okay,” she called into the kitchen as the discussion seemed to grow more heated.
Peter re-entered the living room, but Josh did not. “He’s gone to call and check on Toby,” Peter explained, folding his arms in front of his chest as he walked to the window. The two of them didn’t talk for a while and it made Josie appreciate the silences she had shared with Viggo all the more; although Peter was undoubtedly one of the best friends she had ever had, there was often something awkward between them when no one was talking. Turning back to face her, Peter asked, “So, where did you go when you left here?”
“Nowhere, really,” she said, avoiding his gaze in a way to prevent suspicion. “I caught a cab and rode around for awhile to think about stuff.”
Peter nodded approvingly before letting a joking, friendly smile take over his previously solemn expression. “I know it’s crazy, but I halfway expected you to say you’d gone off with Viggo,” he admitted, sitting down and elbowing her playfully.
Saving Josie from having to lie again-although she was unsure why she had in the first place-Josh re-entered the room with a sigh and took a seat in one of the over-stuffed chintz armchairs. “Mother couldn’t get him on the phone,” he said, looking heavy-heartedly down at his polished shoes. “She said that he’s holed himself up in his bedroom and has been lying in the middle of the floor all day with the lights off and a warm washcloth over his eyes.”
“Is he going to be alright?” Josie asked sheepishly, biting her nails in fear of the answer.
Josh thought about her question before forcing a brave smile. “Oh sure,” he said loftily, dismissing any negativity with a wave of his hand, “he’ll bounce back eventually. It’s sweet of you to worry about him, Josie.”
“Why wouldn’t I worry about him?” she asked harshly, her back stiffening in a defensive manner as her eyes widened as if in challenge. “Do you have any idea how much I love him? How much I miss him, and how I can hardly do the easiest fucking job in the world because I can’t think about anything but him?”
Peter put a calming hand on her back and whispered for her to take deep breaths. She complied and quickly began to feel much better, feeling guilty for her outburst but still annoyed that Josh would have said such a thing. As Peter massaged her shoulders, Josie let out a deep breath and forced a smile for Josh. “So, what brings you into town? I didn’t even know you were coming.”
“I just missed you both so much,” he said cheerfully although something was clearly making him very uncomfortable. “Plus, with Toby in Atlanta for a few days, it was going to be awfully lonely with just me and Nana in the house, so I sent her back to Bolivia for a few days and flew up here after I dropped off Toby.”
“So you’re going to Los Angeles with us?” she asked hopefully, excited to spend time with him again.
He tilted his head and looked very apologetic when he said, “No, I’m flying back to Atlanta tomorrow night to check on Toby. After that, I’ll either fly him out to Los Angeles with me, or we’ll both stay in Atlanta for a few days. It just depends on what he wants to do.”
Josie was extremely hurt that there would be any question in Josh’s mind as to whether Toby would choose to see her over moping around his parents’ house. “Why wouldn’t he want to come out and see me?” she asked with her bottom lip poking out against her will.
“The breakup is hard enough on him as it is,” Josh said, his eyebrows wrinkled and one corner of his mouth turned down. “I really don’t think he could handle being around you right now. No offense, of course.”
“The breakup?” she repeated with raised eyebrows as she blinked several times in rapid succession. “I wasn’t aware that there had been a breakup. How did I miss that?”
Peter and Josh exchanged confused looks, and it seemed that nobody knew what to say. “Well,” Peter said feebly, “he’s taking your, um, separation very hard.”
Josie felt as though there was some big piece of the puzzle that the two of them were leaving out and it was making her extremely uncomfortable. It was inconceivable that he was already seeing someone else or even gone on one date, especially considering his extremely recent hospitalization and current residency in Atlanta. Still, there was something very unsettling about the meaningful looks that Josh and Peter were exchanging.