Forty-One
A dream full of music and faces she didn’t recognized was interrupted by a ring-tone Josie hadn’t expected to ever hear again. “Hello?” she asked groggily before burying her face back in her pillow and wondering if the call had woken Peter.
“Josie, I’m so sorry,” said a sobbing voice so wrought with hysterical guilt that Josie wasn’t sure if her caller ID hadn’t lied to her, “I didn’t mean it!”
Turning onto her side so she could speak and be understood, without a mouthful of pillow, Josie asked, “Is this Claire?”
“Josie, you’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had,” Claire continued without confirming her identity, “and when I wrote all that stuff about not caring about your friendship, I didn’t mean it at all! I was just so caught up in everything that had happened on New Years, and I wasn’t even thinking about what I was writing.”
With a sigh, Josie got out of bed, careful not to disturb Peter who had his mouth wide open and his thumb hanging limply from the corner of his lips as he drooled all over his hand. She stepped into her slippers and walked into the living room, shutting the door behind her. “Calm down, Claire,” she said softly as she crashed onto the couch and put a hand on her forehead.
Claire’s tears seemed to become even more frantic when she heard the understanding in Josie’s voice. “It’s just that I really didn’t think you wanted anything to do with me or Toby anymore, and...I don’t know, but I feel really horribly about it. About everything.”
“Honey, you can have him,” Josie said, feeling her stomach heave as the words left her mouth.
Claire didn’t say anything at first, but finally she sputtered out a confused, “What?”
“I thought a lot about what you said, and you’re right. We are broken up, and the chances of us getting back together are very slim because we won’t see each other for two more months. That’s way too long to let our problems and disagreements fester and still expect the relationship to work at all, much less go back to the way it was.” She paused for a second to catch her breath and to fight back the hot vomit rising in her throat. “So, go ahead and pursue a relationship with my blessing. I know you’ve liked him for a long time, and I know that he feels like shit when he’s not in a relationship.”
“Josie?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you,” Claire said, her weeping subsiding considerably. “Not just for being so cool about everything, but for not totally disowning me. Not sure if I could have done the same if the tables were turned.”
Josie opened her mouth to respond, but before she could say anything, she heard Peter calling from the other room, “Josie, come back to bed!” Standing up and stretching, she told Claire, “Listen, I have to go. I have to wake up in a couple hours and get to the airport. Call me later?”
“Sure,” Claire replied, already back to her giddy, bouncy self.
As she walked back into the bedroom, Josie turned off the ringer on her phone, just in case someone else thought to call her at five o’clock in the morning. She smirked when she saw Peter watching the door for her return, and she ran across the room, pouncing on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her, giving her a tight squeeze as she laughed gleefully.
“Who was that?” Peter asked, letting her sit up but still holding the ends of her hair as she sat on his stomach and beamed down at him.
“Claire, calling to grovel. I guess you told Josh about my freak-out and he called her?”
With his head tilted in confusion, Peter let go of her hair and rested his hands on her hips. “No, actually, I figured Josh had already gone to bed by then since he and Toby are still with their parents. Maybe she just assumed you’d read it.”
Josie shrugged before yawning and rubbing her fists against her eyes. Peter lifted her up far enough to toss her onto her side of the bed, sending her into a fit of giggles. “I can’t believe I’m actually awake at five in the morning,” she said, pulling the blankets over their heads and turning to face Peter.
“So, what did you say to Claire?” he asked, pushing the hair out of her face.
Again, Josie shrugged. “Not much of anything, really. I told her that she and Toby have my blessing if they want to date.”
Peter’s face went entirely blank and it stayed that way throughout the few silent seconds that passed. “You did what?”
“Peter, it’s over,” she said, shaking her head sadly. “After our first big fight, I left for two months. We’re not going to be able to work it out. Plus, we’ll be brooding away from each other for twice as long as we were together. It doesn’t make any sense not to let it go.”
“That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.” When Josie didn’t respond, he sighed and turned over, shutting his eyes tightly and trying to go back to sleep.
_____________
The next morning on the plane, all Josie could think about was the phone conversation she’d had with Claire the night before. In many ways, it was a weight off her shoulders to have her hands clean-at least somewhat-of her situation with Toby and to know that at least he wouldn’t be alone. On the other hand, however, she was more lonely that morning than she remembered ever feeling before, despite the fact that Peter was sitting in the seat beside her, headphones over his ears playing the Barry Manilow song he was happily singing along to as he danced and grinned foolishly at her. Every time she had to force a return smile, it made her heart hurt that much more until she found herself pretending to be asleep just to avoid having to match Peter’s jubilance.
John Chen from the Disney board of directors met them at LAX airport, and Josie found herself once again having to paste on a happy face as she and Peter exchanged niceties with him. Despite the change in scenery and climate, Josie felt it was all too much like New York already. She wasn’t sure how much longer she was going to be able to do this. When she was first told about the tour-and every day between then and Christmas-she had been looking so forward to expanding her world knowledge, adding a few stamps to her passport, and meeting tons and tons of new people. Things were so different now than they were before she left, and it was becoming a serious strain on her both mentally and physically to do a job that she had been ecstatic to do when she was with Toby, when they were happy, and when they’d both thought they would be doing all this stuff together.
No sooner did she feel she’d hit rock bottom than her phone beeped four consecutive, shrill times to alert her to a text message.
FROM: TOBY
TIME: 11:45:06
DATE: 01/06/05
MESSAGE: Back in FL. You in CA, safe? Packing some stuff you forgot for next week. OK if I see you then in GA?