Fifty
Josie had never been to Europe, and on the flight to France, with Peter sleeping face-down on the floor of the Hudsons’ jet, she had plenty of time to form her expectations. However, Paris was the last stop on their tour, meaning that in less than one week, she would be going back to Destin. She was so preoccupied with fretting over her homecoming that she wasn’t able to give a thought to Europe. Weighing heaviest on her mind was where she was going to live. Obviously moving back in with the Hudson boys was out of the question, and she refused to live with her parents again. Between spending all of her time with Toby and then going off on tour, she’d lost contact with all of her old friends. She realized for the first time that the only friends she really had were the only two people who-because they lived with Toby-were out of the question as far as roommates were concerned. Of course, there was always Claire, but with her quasi-dating Toby...
Josie wished very much that Peter would wake up because now she couldn’t stop thinking about Toby and it was making her physically sick. She almost tripped over Peter in her rush to get into the bathroom. By the fourth time she’d thrown up, the sound of her retching had woken Peter and he came stumbling in, searching for the source of the noise.
“Whoa,” he said, stopping short when he saw her curled up on the floor, “are you okay, Josie?”
She weakly lifted her head and looked at him through narrowed eyes. “Do I seem okay?” she asked, wiping off her mouth with the back of her hand before flushing the toilet and pushing herself into a standing position. She took Peter’s out-stretched hand and followed him back into the cabin. After sitting on the floor beside him, she said, “I’m sorry I snapped at you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said, squeezing the hand he was still holding. “So, did you eat something bad or what?”
“I don’t know, really,” she admitted with a shrug, “but I was thinking about Toby. I figured that was enough to make me puke.”
A stunned silence was followed by Peter’s exuberant laughter. “Wow, Josie. Not the answer I was expecting.”
“I strive to be shocking,” she said with a sly grin. She began to nervously fiddle with the hem of her skirt as she tried to suppress the question burning in her throat.
“Just ask.”
“Oh,” she said, jumping a little at the sound of Peter’s voice. “Have you talked to Josh or...or anybody? You know, since...since last Wednesday?”
Peter pulled his cell phone out of the pocket of his black leather pants and flipped it open, scrolling through menus until he found the information he was looking for. “I talked to Toby on Wednesday night while you were out with Jack, and I’ve talked to Josh every day except for last night. I missed his call when we were out with Fred and Rosie, but I figured I’d wait to call him back until we got to Paris.”
Josie nodded slowly, avoiding his eyes. A sudden chill came over her body and she shivered before reaching behind her for the bear fur blanket strewn across the back of the seat they were leaning on. After rubbing her arms for awhile, until the goose bumps went away, she said, “So, I guess everybody’s all right then.”
“I would have told you if something was up,” he reassured her before becoming enthralled with his fingernails. He used the edge of one of his incisors to remove the dirt from beneath the nails on his right hand, and Josie watched in total fascination.
They were both locked in an inexplicable trance for several minutes, until out of nowhere, Peter started laughing. “What’s so funny?” Josie asked, an irrepressible smile spreading across her face.
Peter continued laughing, falling over so that his head was in her lap as the tears started falling from his eyes. He had a great deal of difficulty speaking through his near-deafening guffawing but, with words coming out sporadically, managed to ask, “Remember that time when Toby stayed over at your apartment, and then the next day you came in to the store, and I was so surprised to see you together that I hit my head on that shelf?”
“Yes,” she said, followed by a sputtering giggle as she tried to understand what about that memory was so hilarious because Peter was dangerously close to hysterical.
“You know how sometimes you remember things and they just-” He was forced to pause momentarily as a brief laughing fit consumed him. “-they’re just funnier then than they actually were when they happened? Oh God!”
Watching Peter roll around on the floor from the memory of something that was only moderately funny at the time definitely added to the comedy of the situation and before very long, Josie was laughing right along with him. “Know what else is a lot funnier now?” she asked, wiping tears away. Peter raised a questioning eyebrow. “The next day, when Toby broke his leg.”
“From doing a Tarzan impression!”
Josie clutched her sides and leaned forward until her nose was almost touching her knees. “Oh, Peter,” she choked out, “You should have seen him when I went to pick him up at the hospital! They didn’t even have to tell me what room he was in when I got to the emergency room because I could hear him as soon as I walked in. He was singing ‘Baby, One More Time’ in this ridiculous falsetto, I kid you not!”
Peter was trying desperately to catch his breath and not having much luck with it. He forced himself into silence but was only able to maintain it for a few seconds before an impressively loud burst of laughter came through his lips. “Remember me carrying him up the stairs that day? And I dropped him, and he busted his lip open on the corner of his bed!”
“Aww,” Josie said, her laughter finally beginning to subside, “Toby was Charlie Brown that day.”
“Toby is Charlie Brown every day,” Peter pointed out as he too started to calm down. “I guess that would make you the Pretty Little Red Haired Girl, except that you’re blonde.”
Josie’s face went blank and she stared at Peter for awhile before saying, “Wow, Peter, thanks. Mood killer.”
_________________________
On their second day in Paris, Josh flew in to be with them because the very first Lost Boys fashion show was being held. Josie didn’t have a chance to see him before the show and didn’t even realize that he was there until afterwards because she had an unexpected visitor of her own waiting in her dressing room when she arrived at the venue.
“Surprise,” Viggo said, smiling at her from behind an enormous bouquet of orchids like the ones he had given her in New York.
“Oh my God,” she said, setting her purse down in a nearby chair and rushing to accept the flowers. It took both of her hands to get a firm hold on them, so she quickly set them on her make-up table before spinning around to give Viggo a hug. With his arms tightly around her, he lifted her off of the floor for a second. “What are you doing here?”
Taking a step back and shoving his hands into his pockets, he said, “I don’t suppose it’s very believable that I was just in the neighborhood.”
“No,” Josie said, smirking at him, “That’s not very believable at all.”
“Call me crazy,” he started, but trailed off and never finished his thought. After an awkward silence, he asked, “So, how are you?”
“Aside from being very pleased at seeing my favorite person in the whole wide world, you mean?” When his only response was a shy smile, she continued, “I’m actually really stressed out about going back to Destin in the next couple of days.”
“Why? What’s the matter?”
She sighed and collapsed onto the overstuffed couch behind her and covered her face with both hands. He sat down beside her and began to rub his hand across her back comfortingly. “I’m just totally freaking out,” she confided, “because I don’t know where I’m going to live. I mean, I can’t go back to living with Peter because Toby lives there, and I don’t want to move back in with my parents, and I haven’t talked to any of my other friends in, like, months. Ugh, and I’m not ready to live by myself yet. I’m not secure enough in my life to be alone for hours on end.”
Viggo’s solution came out so easily that it made Josie suspicious of his motives for coming to see her. “So stay here,” he said with a shrug, “Hang out in Europe with me for awhile, until you get things figured out. Maybe taking a break from everything in your life will make it easier to sort out your problems.”
“Remember earlier when you said I could call you crazy?”
He laughed and it made her smile. “Well,” he said, standing up, “I’ll be here for a few more days, at least as long as you’re here. Just think about it. I mean, you definitely need a vacation, even from Peter because you’ve told me how he reminds you of Toby all the time. I imagine he’s a huge symbol for all of the shit you’re going through with your home life. I’m not going to try to keep you here any longer than you want to be here. I’m just suggesting that you spend some time far away from everything else, and since you’re not wanting to be alone and I could be here with you, this is probably the best solution. Will you think about it?”
“Yeah,” she said as her eyes began to water. “I have to get ready now. Will you come back by after the show?”
“Sure,” he said, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. Just before he walked through the door, he turned around and said, “Hey, cheer up, sugar.”
_________________________
After an extremely successful show, with an audience full of big-name American celebrities and fashionistas, Josie was standing impatiently backstage, tapping her foot as she waited for Peter and Josh to finish their strut down the runway. When they appeared, she ran and jumped on both of them, the trio forming a shrieking, bouncing mini-huddle of glee. Before they had enough time to tone down their excitement enough to form actual words when speaking to each other, a group of journalists bombarded them. Josie managed to wriggle away to her dressing room after answering only a few questions and posing for a handful of pictures. Leaning heavily against the back of her door, she exhaled deeply and blinked a few times before spotting Viggo sitting on the couch.
“How do you do that? You’re like Batman,” Josie said, her face twisted with confusion.
“What?”
She stepped behind the Chinese silk screen near the make-up table and started changing back into her street clothes. “You get everywhere,” she started, hanging the Lost Boys dress over the top of the screen. “Like, just a few seconds ago, I saw you sitting by the runway, and somehow you got into my dressing room even before I did. You’re like Batman.”
“Maybe I am Batman,” he suggested, leaning back on the couch.
“I haven’t really had time to think about what you said,” Josie admitted, zipping up her jeans and stepping out from behind the screen. She sat down at the table and began to wipe away the excessive eye makeup she had worn for the show.
“I didn’t think you would.” He watched silently as Josie removed her makeup, wondering what was going through her mind as he started to hum under his breath.
“What song is that?” she asked sounding slightly suspicious of the answer, throwing away the cotton ball she had been using before picking up a clean one and continuing her tiring task.
“Oh, say, let us fly dear,” he sang, smiling broadly at her, “Where, kid? To the sky, dear. Oh, you flying machine. Jump in, Miss Josephine. Ship ahoy! Oh, joy, what a feeling. Feels cold through the ceiling. Oh, high! Hoopla, we fly! To the sky, so high. Come, Josephine, in my flying machine. Going up, she goes, up she goes! Balance yourself like a bird on a beam. In the air she goes, there she goes. Up, up, a little bit higher. Oh my, the moon is on fire. Come, Josephine, in my flying machine. Going up, all on, goodbye.”
By the time he was finished, Josie was beaming ecstatically. “My grandpa used to sing that to me whenever he would push me in my swing at his house,” she said, her eyes twinkling brilliantly. “You’re the only other person I’ve ever met who knows more than the part they sang in Titanic.”
“That’s a shame,” he replied, feeling very proud of himself, “because it’s really a charming little song.”
“So,” she said, the smile slipping off of her face, “I’m not trying to be rude, but can I meet you someplace tomorrow night? It’s just that Josh is here tonight and he’s leaving in the morning, so I want to spend as much time with him as possible.”
“Sure.” He stood up and ran both hands down the front of his shirt to straighten it. “How about underneath the Eiffel Tower at midnight?” She raised an eyebrow and he added, “I’m staying in a flat right in front of it, and I know you’re not familiar with this city anyway.”
“All right,” she said, looking somewhat reluctant. She turned around in her chair to face him and as he headed out of the door, he put a hand on her cheek and kissed her forehead. When he did, everything went black for a moment before her vision righted itself, and she blushed although he couldn’t have known it had just happened.
Viggo had only been gone for two minutes when Josh and Peter came bounding into the room. “You were so fabulous, Josie,” Josh said, tackling her with an overpowering hug from behind that nearly caused her to hit her face on the mirror. “You couldn’t have possibly been any better! Could she, Peter?”
“It was incredible!” he supplemented, nodding emphatically before walking over to the mini-bar and sniffing the different varieties of cheeses arranged on a silver tray. With a mouthful of various flavors, he looked over his shoulder at her and added, “Really amazing!”
“Is there any champagne over there, cupcake?” Josh asked, knowing that there wasn’t.
“No,” Peter said after moving a few things around, “Want me to go find some?”
“Please do,” Josh answered, smiling warmly at Peter until he had disappeared through the door. He watched Josie pulling her hair into a ponytail before clearing his throat and saying, “Josie, I need to talk to you.”
Her stomach sank so quickly that it felt like it was going to fall onto the floor. Without answering him, she moved to sit beside him on the couch and wrapped her arms around one of his biceps. He patted her hand and they leaned their heads together, neither of them saying anything at first. “First of all and most importantly, I couldn’t be more excited about you and Peter finally coming home,” he started, putting a hand on her leg as he spoke, “and I want you to know that you continuing to live with us means everything in the world to our little family. But before you come back, there’s something you have to know first.”
“Oh God,” Josie said, bracing herself for the worst, though she had no idea what the worst could possibly be.
Josh scratched the back of his head anxiously, reminding Josie of the way that Toby rumpled his hair when he was nervous, and it made her heart hurt terribly. “The thing is,” he continued slowly, “Claire got evicted from her apartment a couple of days ago because she got a dog, and the landlord found out about it. It’s a pitiful little dog that she rescued from the shelter and she didn’t know anybody who could take it, so...”
Josie jerked her arms to her sides and scooted away from Josh. “Don’t you dare tell me that she’s managed to weasel her way into my house,” she hissed at him. The dam holding back all of her annoyance and frustration with Claire burst, and whatever understanding she’d previously seemed to have was washed away with pure hatred. She jumped to her feet and yelled, “Don’t tell me that she’s so obsessed with me that she has to take everything in my life away from me! Was it not enough for her to take Toby, so she had to take my home, too?”
“Josie, calm down, she didn’t take your-”
“Bullshit! Are you insane? Do you really think I’m going to live in the same house with that...that life-ruiner?”
Peter walked in just as Josie had picked up the glass of water sitting on her table and threw it onto the floor with enough force to send its shards all across the room. “Whoa,” Peter said, his voice surprisingly calm although his eyebrows had shot up to alarming heights, “I guess you told her about Claire, then.”
“You know what?” Josie asked, spinning around to glare at Peter, “I’m so fucking sick of all this. Peter, you’re supposed to be my best friend, and yet, every time something happens with Claire that I should know about, you always wait for somebody else to tell me. And, Josh, you’re the whole reason Claire started messing with Toby in the first place! Did either of you realize that Toby and I never actually broke up? We had a fight that day, a really huge fight, but we didn’t break up! Maybe if the three of you would learn how to fucking communicate, this whole entire mess would never have happened. Yes, I realize that a lot of the blame lies on me, too, but I’m only one-fourth of the equation here. And I’m sorry I’m not part of your exclusive little Hudson club or whatever, but since I am one-fourth of the equation, that means I deserve to know what’s going on just as much as both of you do. And I deserve to be stuck up for just as much as the three of you do. If it had been Toby that left instead of me, you would never have let London move in while he was gone, would you? You guys are my family, and I think I deserved better than just being...replaced like this!”
“Josie,” Josh said, trying his best to sound soothing although his head was still reeling from her outburst, “Claire isn’t trying to replace you, and even if she was, nobody ever could.”
She turned her widened, fiery eyes on him and shouted, “Are you kidding me, Josh? How stupid do you think I am? And this coming from the guy who more or less set them up?”
Silence filled the room then, Josie’s chest heaving with ferocity as Josh stared down at his shoes and Peter was too hurt to even move from his spot by the door. “You know what?” Josie said, picking up her purse and shoving her belongings into it hastily, “Maybe you can get Claire to be your Tinkerbell and have her replace me all together. I am so fucking done with this.” Without another word, she pushed past Peter and disappeared into the large crowd still assembled backstage.
_________________________
“I’m sorry, Josie,” Peter said, curled up at the head of their bed, chewing on his thumbnail as tears streamed rapidly down his face. He had chased her back to their hotel, leaving Josh to pack up all of the Lost Boys stuff. After enduring another huge blow up, he was watching her throw all of her things into her suitcases, getting ready to have all of her things moved to Viggo’s flat. Her cab had already been called and was waiting downstairs in the pouring rain.
Josie stopped for a second and stood up, turning to face Peter and asking, “For what, Peter? What are you sorry for?”
“For keeping secrets from you,” he sputtered out, still crying as though someone had died, “for making you come on tour right after your fight. For everything that’s ever made you mad at me. I don’t know, but please don’t...please don’t go, Tink! We canceled the press conferences for you, so we can get out of here. Come home with me and Josh, please. Please!”
“Thanks to Claire, I don’t have a home to go to anymore, so I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass,” she said spitefully. With the last of her bags packed, she loaded them all onto the baggage cart and headed towards the door.
“Josie, wait!” Peter jumped off of the bed and ran after her, grabbing her around the waist and holding her against him. She started kicking and scratching him until he wrestled her onto the floor. He kept her pinned until she stopped fighting, and when he moved to sit beside her, she lay flat against the Persian rug, breathing heavily and finally allowing herself to cry.
“I hate her,” she sobbed, staring up at the ceiling and remembering in disgust how close she and Claire had been before the tour.
Peter laid his head on her shoulder and put his arms around her. “I know you do,” he said softly, “And right now, so do I. But please don’t abandon me because of her. I can’t go back without you!”
“Then I guess you’re not going back.” There was a knock on their door, and Josie knew it was the concierge reminding her of her waiting cab. She stood up and wiped away her tears before pushing her luggage cart out of the door. With a sad smile, she turned to Peter and said, “I’ll write you,” before disappearing.
T H E . . . E N D