Twenty-Seven
Two hours later, when Josie arrived at her Grammy Rosenfelt’s house to meet the women in her family for Christmas shopping, she was obnoxiously happy. She gave everyone large, suffocating hugs and laughed much louder at their corny jokes and random singing than she usually did. The only person who didn’t seem confused by her behavior was her eighteen-year-old cousin Ginny who normally acted the way Josie was that day. By virtue of her tolerance, it was she who was forced to ride along in Josie’s car and was subjected to erratic driving and very long-winded stories about Toby for the better part of the day as they went from mall to mall.
At lunch, the five of them-Josie, Ginny, Betty, Betty’s mother Mae, and Betty’s older sister Gwen-decided to take a break from the insane pace of day-after-Thanksgiving shopping and eat in a tiny bistro on the beach. Once everyone had their food except Josie who had ordered a taco salad without vegetables and had to send it back when they’d included lettuce anyway, Josie’s cell phone started ringing. Betty shook her head and took a bite of her Reuben sandwich and Ginny and Gwen sang along to “Yellow Submarine” as Josie’s dug through her purse for her phone.
“I’m at work,” Toby said quietly as soon as she picked up, “so I can’t talk, really, but I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t forgotten that you promised we’d go out tonight.”
“No, I haven’t forgotten,” she answered, smiling at the waiter as he delivered her correctly prepared plate.
“Okay. Well, I’ve got to go. I love you, butterfly.”
“I’ll see you tonight, Toby.” She hung up and grinned stupidly at Ginny who had heard the entire conversation and had an “Aww”-look on her face. “What?”
“He loves you,” Ginny said through a bulging mouthful of Caesar salad.
Josie shrugged. “He’s been saying that for so long that I really don’t think he’s being serious.”
“Oh, don’t listen to her,” Betty said with a dismissive wave of her hand, “they’re going to get married.”
“What?” Mae asked, her seventy-eight-year-old eyes widening impressively. “Josie’s getting married? Again?”
“No, Grammy, no one’s getting married,” Josie replied, her eyes narrowed at her mother who was looking very sheepish and trying to hide behind the remains of her sandwich. “Not now and possibly never again.”
“Oh,” Mae said with a giggle, “You don’t mean that. Just because London was an awful person-”
“London wasn’t an awful person,” Josie interrupted before she even realized what she was saying. She clamped both hands over her mouth and offered a very muffled apology before going back to her lunch with her head down.
After a few minutes of uncomfortable filler conversation from Gwen about her husband’s new church-Josie’s uncle Joey was a minister-someone on the other side of the room called Josie’s name. She spun around, extremely grateful for a reason to leave the table. She found her reason in Ivy and her mother sitting at a table by the window where Ivy was waving her over. Josie excused herself and all but ran across the room. “How’s it going?” she asked, standing beside Ivy’s chair and trying to feel normal.
“Not much,” Ivy replied before taking a bite of her chili cheeseburger. “Pull up a chair, Jos.” Josie did as she was told and waited politely as Ivy finished chewing. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Pardon?”
Ivy swallowed the food in her mouth. “What’s wrong? You seem more peeved than usual.”
“I’m going to the restroom,” Ivy’s mother said, suddenly standing and leaving the table. Josie watched her walking away for a moment before turning back to Ivy and saying, “I don’t think your mom likes me.”
“Nah, she’s just kinda clams up around people she doesn’t know,” Ivy explained, taking another bite of her lunch. “So, what’s up?”
“Okay, you remember when we saw London The Bastard last night at Chili’s? Well, I was really upset about him being so nice to me because I’m deranged-”
“That was understandable, actually. But, yeah…continue.”
“Right, well, I was really upset, blah blah blah, went home and was in a really weird mood, so Toby was really worried about me, and I started crying, and somehow that translated into…” Josie stopped, her eyes darting back and forth suspiciously as though she expected her family to have crowded around behind her while she was talking. Once she was satisfied that they wouldn’t overhear, she whispered, “Somehow that translated into us doing it.”
Ivy choked on her food and once her airway was cleared, she filled the restaurant with very loud laughter. “I’m sorry,” she said, waving to everybody who was now staring, including Josie’s family, before turning back to Josie. “I’m sorry. No, that’s not funny.”
“It’s really not, Ivy! I mean, we’ve been dating for one day and we’re already having sex,” Josie said with a much too serious look on her face. “There is something wrong with that!”
“Maybe,” Ivy said thoughtfully as she swirled a French fry around in the pool of ketchup on her plate, “but he’s been putting up with your shit for over a month. He earned it.”
Josie sighed and stood up, picking up her chair as she asked, “Why is it that ever since I’ve met Toby, everyone thinks I’m being insane whenever I have a logical thought or idea?”
“Because your idea of logic is seriously warped,” Ivy said without missing a beat as Josie put the chair back at its original table. “Are you working tonight?”
“Nope, they only scheduled me one day this week and that would be tomorrow. Are you working then?”
“Yep,” Ivy replied as her mother rejoined the table, “so I’ll see you tomorrow. I might call tonight, but probably not.”
Josie laughed, rolling her eyes as she walked away. “Who was that?” Ginny asked as soon as Josie stuffed a huge mouthful of taco salad into her mouth.
“Co-worker,” Jose mumbled, sending tiny pieces of corn chip and cheese in Ginny’s direction.
The rest of their shopping trip was somewhat uncomfortable between Josie and her grandmother, and she felt horrible about snapping the way she had, especially over London. She couldn’t figure it out, but as much as she couldn’t stand him, she wouldn’t put up with anyone saying bad things about him, even if it was things that she herself had said before. She didn’t still love him. She refused to believe that she still loved him because to continue loving someone who had hurt her so badly was a definite sign of weakness. Women who were weak like that are the same type of women that would tolerate a physically abusive relationship, and she would certainly never let some guy hit her and get away with it. She tried to put it out of her mind by singing along to Christina Aguilera songs with Ginny, but the sound of her own voice saying that London wasn’t an awful person kept playing through her mind.
After dropping Ginny off at their grandparents’ house, Josie went straight to her empty home, her three housemates all being at work and Nana spending the day shopping with friends. It was an enormous house full of beautiful and expensive things and technology she hadn’t even been aware existed-mostly, the heated tiles with adjustable temperature in the master bathroom’s shower-and she knew very well that she didn’t belong there as much as she loved it. She also hadn’t felt right sharing an apartment with Emma and she hadn’t felt right when she had moved back into her parents’ house. She hadn’t felt at home since the day she moved out of London’s house.
“No,” she said out loud, smacking her hand against her forehead with unnecessary force. “No, no, no. This is not happening.”
At lunch, the five of them-Josie, Ginny, Betty, Betty’s mother Mae, and Betty’s older sister Gwen-decided to take a break from the insane pace of day-after-Thanksgiving shopping and eat in a tiny bistro on the beach. Once everyone had their food except Josie who had ordered a taco salad without vegetables and had to send it back when they’d included lettuce anyway, Josie’s cell phone started ringing. Betty shook her head and took a bite of her Reuben sandwich and Ginny and Gwen sang along to “Yellow Submarine” as Josie’s dug through her purse for her phone.
“I’m at work,” Toby said quietly as soon as she picked up, “so I can’t talk, really, but I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t forgotten that you promised we’d go out tonight.”
“No, I haven’t forgotten,” she answered, smiling at the waiter as he delivered her correctly prepared plate.
“Okay. Well, I’ve got to go. I love you, butterfly.”
“I’ll see you tonight, Toby.” She hung up and grinned stupidly at Ginny who had heard the entire conversation and had an “Aww”-look on her face. “What?”
“He loves you,” Ginny said through a bulging mouthful of Caesar salad.
Josie shrugged. “He’s been saying that for so long that I really don’t think he’s being serious.”
“Oh, don’t listen to her,” Betty said with a dismissive wave of her hand, “they’re going to get married.”
“What?” Mae asked, her seventy-eight-year-old eyes widening impressively. “Josie’s getting married? Again?”
“No, Grammy, no one’s getting married,” Josie replied, her eyes narrowed at her mother who was looking very sheepish and trying to hide behind the remains of her sandwich. “Not now and possibly never again.”
“Oh,” Mae said with a giggle, “You don’t mean that. Just because London was an awful person-”
“London wasn’t an awful person,” Josie interrupted before she even realized what she was saying. She clamped both hands over her mouth and offered a very muffled apology before going back to her lunch with her head down.
After a few minutes of uncomfortable filler conversation from Gwen about her husband’s new church-Josie’s uncle Joey was a minister-someone on the other side of the room called Josie’s name. She spun around, extremely grateful for a reason to leave the table. She found her reason in Ivy and her mother sitting at a table by the window where Ivy was waving her over. Josie excused herself and all but ran across the room. “How’s it going?” she asked, standing beside Ivy’s chair and trying to feel normal.
“Not much,” Ivy replied before taking a bite of her chili cheeseburger. “Pull up a chair, Jos.” Josie did as she was told and waited politely as Ivy finished chewing. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Pardon?”
Ivy swallowed the food in her mouth. “What’s wrong? You seem more peeved than usual.”
“I’m going to the restroom,” Ivy’s mother said, suddenly standing and leaving the table. Josie watched her walking away for a moment before turning back to Ivy and saying, “I don’t think your mom likes me.”
“Nah, she’s just kinda clams up around people she doesn’t know,” Ivy explained, taking another bite of her lunch. “So, what’s up?”
“Okay, you remember when we saw London The Bastard last night at Chili’s? Well, I was really upset about him being so nice to me because I’m deranged-”
“That was understandable, actually. But, yeah…continue.”
“Right, well, I was really upset, blah blah blah, went home and was in a really weird mood, so Toby was really worried about me, and I started crying, and somehow that translated into…” Josie stopped, her eyes darting back and forth suspiciously as though she expected her family to have crowded around behind her while she was talking. Once she was satisfied that they wouldn’t overhear, she whispered, “Somehow that translated into us doing it.”
Ivy choked on her food and once her airway was cleared, she filled the restaurant with very loud laughter. “I’m sorry,” she said, waving to everybody who was now staring, including Josie’s family, before turning back to Josie. “I’m sorry. No, that’s not funny.”
“It’s really not, Ivy! I mean, we’ve been dating for one day and we’re already having sex,” Josie said with a much too serious look on her face. “There is something wrong with that!”
“Maybe,” Ivy said thoughtfully as she swirled a French fry around in the pool of ketchup on her plate, “but he’s been putting up with your shit for over a month. He earned it.”
Josie sighed and stood up, picking up her chair as she asked, “Why is it that ever since I’ve met Toby, everyone thinks I’m being insane whenever I have a logical thought or idea?”
“Because your idea of logic is seriously warped,” Ivy said without missing a beat as Josie put the chair back at its original table. “Are you working tonight?”
“Nope, they only scheduled me one day this week and that would be tomorrow. Are you working then?”
“Yep,” Ivy replied as her mother rejoined the table, “so I’ll see you tomorrow. I might call tonight, but probably not.”
Josie laughed, rolling her eyes as she walked away. “Who was that?” Ginny asked as soon as Josie stuffed a huge mouthful of taco salad into her mouth.
“Co-worker,” Jose mumbled, sending tiny pieces of corn chip and cheese in Ginny’s direction.
The rest of their shopping trip was somewhat uncomfortable between Josie and her grandmother, and she felt horrible about snapping the way she had, especially over London. She couldn’t figure it out, but as much as she couldn’t stand him, she wouldn’t put up with anyone saying bad things about him, even if it was things that she herself had said before. She didn’t still love him. She refused to believe that she still loved him because to continue loving someone who had hurt her so badly was a definite sign of weakness. Women who were weak like that are the same type of women that would tolerate a physically abusive relationship, and she would certainly never let some guy hit her and get away with it. She tried to put it out of her mind by singing along to Christina Aguilera songs with Ginny, but the sound of her own voice saying that London wasn’t an awful person kept playing through her mind.
After dropping Ginny off at their grandparents’ house, Josie went straight to her empty home, her three housemates all being at work and Nana spending the day shopping with friends. It was an enormous house full of beautiful and expensive things and technology she hadn’t even been aware existed-mostly, the heated tiles with adjustable temperature in the master bathroom’s shower-and she knew very well that she didn’t belong there as much as she loved it. She also hadn’t felt right sharing an apartment with Emma and she hadn’t felt right when she had moved back into her parents’ house. She hadn’t felt at home since the day she moved out of London’s house.
“No,” she said out loud, smacking her hand against her forehead with unnecessary force. “No, no, no. This is not happening.”