Thirty-Six
“Are you coming or not?”
“Not. I want to go home.”
Josie’s face was covered with one of the Peninsula’s plush down-alternative pillows and her response was muffled, so Peter had to ask her to repeat it. “You can’t go home, sweetie,” he said, trying to mask his exasperation at her unwillingness to leave their suite for anything other than business. It was their third night in New York City and every night he had been out with old friends of his from design school; every night he pleaded with Josie to join them and every night she declined his hospitality. “Josie, listen,” he started, walking back into the room and sitting on the edge of their bed, “You’re only going to make yourself feel worse if you completely miss out on seeing the city and stay up here watching pay-per-view movies all week.”
Her only response was a blank stare followed by sniffling and a few crocodile tears. This was the way he left her in the evenings, curled up under all of the blankets in the room with a box of tissue on one side of her and the remote control on the other. She kept her cell phone plugged into the charger the entire time she was in the room and made sure it was within arm’s reach on the night stand, just incase Toby called.
“Why are you waiting for him to call? Just call him. Or if you’re too scared to do that, call and talk to Josh. Maybe he can get Toby on the phone.”
Josie nodded slowly before pulling out a tissue and drying her face. “What time will you be back?”
“I’m not sure,” he replied, smoothing down her hair before kissing her on the forehead and standing up. “I’ll call you if I’m going to be terribly late. Call me if you need anything. Okay?”
She nodded and stared at him as he left the room. She reached over and picked up her cell phone, pleading silently with it to give her a calming conversation with Toby. After a few deep yoga breaths, she dialed Toby’s cell phone number and winced as she pressed the “send” button. It rang once.
Twice.
Half of the third time before it went straight to his voicemail, which could only mean that he had hit the “ignore” button when he saw that it was her calling. “Hi, you’ve reached Toby Hudson. Or actually, you haven’t reached me because I obviously didn’t pick up the phone. I’m probably too busy stalking my girlfriend to answer your call, but if you leave me a message, I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done.”
She hung up with a defeated sigh and closed her eyes tightly so that a few tears streamed down her reddened cheeks. It was nice just to hear his voice, but the thought that he purposely avoided her call was beyond heartbreaking. Taking Peter’s advice, she then called Josh who answered almost immediately.
“Hello, my little Tinkerbell,” Josh said happily when he picked up, greeting her loudly enough to make her suspect he was projecting his voice for someone else’s benefit.
“Hi, Josh,” she said nervously, wiping her nose with the back of her hand before remembering she had plenty of tissue, “I was just calling to check on Toby. I called him just a second ago and he didn’t answer. Actually, it only rang two and a half times so I figured he was ignoring me.”
“Oh, no, he wouldn’t ignore you. He’s upstairs in his room taking a nap or something. I’m not sure why it rang like that, though. Maybe something’s the matter with your phone. Is reception good in your hotel?”
She knew he was covering for Toby for some reason and she really wanted to know why but didn’t want to come off as being paranoid or obnoxious. “No, the reception is fine. It wasn’t anything like that because his voicemail picked up. That only happens on his phone when he hits the ‘ignore’ button.”
Josh was seemingly quiet for a minute, rustling and a few muffled words coming through the fingers covering the mouthpiece on his phone’s headset. “He’s just come downstairs,” Josh said when he finally moved his hand from the phone. “Would you like to speak to him?”
“Yes, please.”
After more mumbling and rustling, Josie heard the voice that made her heart swell up in her chest so dramatically that it hurt. “Hello?”
“Hi, Toby,” she said meekly. “How are you?” He didn’t say anything. “Toby, I miss you. And I love you very much.”
“Why couldn’t you just tell me?” His voice was scratchy and he sounded exhausted, like he hadn’t slept in days which was entirely possible from what she’d heard from Peter.
“Tell you what?”
“That you were going to London’s,” he answered, sounding very much like a scared child, “even if it was just to see your dog. I would’ve come with you, Butterfly. I would’ve loved to meet your dog. And we could have taken him to the vet together, and we could have buried him by the ocean.”
Her bottom lip began to quiver violently and when she tried to respond, at first she was only able to make a small squeaking noise. “I’m sorry, Toby, I really am, but what’s done is done and I can’t take it back.”
He started crying then, choking sobs accompanied with long sniffles before he managed to say, “I have to go now” and hung up.
_____________
When Peter tip-toed into the room at three o’clock in the morning, he found Josie sitting up in bed still wide awake with her glazed eyes fixated on The Godfather playing on the television in front of her. He set his keys on the end table and shed his jacket on the couch before walking into their bedroom. “I don’t suppose it’s any coincidence that you’re watching Toby’s favorite movie by yourself in the dark,” he said with a sigh, removing his shoes and pants before climbing into bed next to her.
“The concierge brought it up for me,” she replied flatly, “she went down to the video store and picked it up. Free of charge because she saw how miserable I was when she brought it up.”
“Did you talk to him?”
“Peter, the concierge is a woman here.”
Peter broke into a smile and elbowed her playfully. “I meant Toby, not the concierge.”
“Oh,” she said, averting her eyes and playing with the hem on the duvet, “yeah, I did. I called his phone but he ignored my call, so then I called Josh and talked to him for, like, twenty seconds or something.”
“So it didn’t go well?” Peter asked, looking absolutely scandalized at the notion.
Josie shook her head. “I told him that I missed him and that I love him very much, and all he could do was get upset with me again for not telling him I went to London’s house. He said that he would have come along with me, but London’s such a dick, he starts fights with every guy that’s come into my life since then and I really didn’t want Toby to have to deal with that.”
Peter was quiet for a moment, thinking things over thoroughly before suggesting, “Maybe you should have let Toby make the decision as to whether or not he should have to deal with London.”
Instead of continuing the discussion, Josie rolled over and pulled the blankets up to her ears. “Goodnight, Peter,” she said as the tears in her eyes made the diamond in her more-serious-than-a-promise-ring shine more brightly than usual. She turned the ring around so that the stone was in her palm, and she held it to her chest until she finally fell asleep.
“Not. I want to go home.”
Josie’s face was covered with one of the Peninsula’s plush down-alternative pillows and her response was muffled, so Peter had to ask her to repeat it. “You can’t go home, sweetie,” he said, trying to mask his exasperation at her unwillingness to leave their suite for anything other than business. It was their third night in New York City and every night he had been out with old friends of his from design school; every night he pleaded with Josie to join them and every night she declined his hospitality. “Josie, listen,” he started, walking back into the room and sitting on the edge of their bed, “You’re only going to make yourself feel worse if you completely miss out on seeing the city and stay up here watching pay-per-view movies all week.”
Her only response was a blank stare followed by sniffling and a few crocodile tears. This was the way he left her in the evenings, curled up under all of the blankets in the room with a box of tissue on one side of her and the remote control on the other. She kept her cell phone plugged into the charger the entire time she was in the room and made sure it was within arm’s reach on the night stand, just incase Toby called.
“Why are you waiting for him to call? Just call him. Or if you’re too scared to do that, call and talk to Josh. Maybe he can get Toby on the phone.”
Josie nodded slowly before pulling out a tissue and drying her face. “What time will you be back?”
“I’m not sure,” he replied, smoothing down her hair before kissing her on the forehead and standing up. “I’ll call you if I’m going to be terribly late. Call me if you need anything. Okay?”
She nodded and stared at him as he left the room. She reached over and picked up her cell phone, pleading silently with it to give her a calming conversation with Toby. After a few deep yoga breaths, she dialed Toby’s cell phone number and winced as she pressed the “send” button. It rang once.
Twice.
Half of the third time before it went straight to his voicemail, which could only mean that he had hit the “ignore” button when he saw that it was her calling. “Hi, you’ve reached Toby Hudson. Or actually, you haven’t reached me because I obviously didn’t pick up the phone. I’m probably too busy stalking my girlfriend to answer your call, but if you leave me a message, I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done.”
She hung up with a defeated sigh and closed her eyes tightly so that a few tears streamed down her reddened cheeks. It was nice just to hear his voice, but the thought that he purposely avoided her call was beyond heartbreaking. Taking Peter’s advice, she then called Josh who answered almost immediately.
“Hello, my little Tinkerbell,” Josh said happily when he picked up, greeting her loudly enough to make her suspect he was projecting his voice for someone else’s benefit.
“Hi, Josh,” she said nervously, wiping her nose with the back of her hand before remembering she had plenty of tissue, “I was just calling to check on Toby. I called him just a second ago and he didn’t answer. Actually, it only rang two and a half times so I figured he was ignoring me.”
“Oh, no, he wouldn’t ignore you. He’s upstairs in his room taking a nap or something. I’m not sure why it rang like that, though. Maybe something’s the matter with your phone. Is reception good in your hotel?”
She knew he was covering for Toby for some reason and she really wanted to know why but didn’t want to come off as being paranoid or obnoxious. “No, the reception is fine. It wasn’t anything like that because his voicemail picked up. That only happens on his phone when he hits the ‘ignore’ button.”
Josh was seemingly quiet for a minute, rustling and a few muffled words coming through the fingers covering the mouthpiece on his phone’s headset. “He’s just come downstairs,” Josh said when he finally moved his hand from the phone. “Would you like to speak to him?”
“Yes, please.”
After more mumbling and rustling, Josie heard the voice that made her heart swell up in her chest so dramatically that it hurt. “Hello?”
“Hi, Toby,” she said meekly. “How are you?” He didn’t say anything. “Toby, I miss you. And I love you very much.”
“Why couldn’t you just tell me?” His voice was scratchy and he sounded exhausted, like he hadn’t slept in days which was entirely possible from what she’d heard from Peter.
“Tell you what?”
“That you were going to London’s,” he answered, sounding very much like a scared child, “even if it was just to see your dog. I would’ve come with you, Butterfly. I would’ve loved to meet your dog. And we could have taken him to the vet together, and we could have buried him by the ocean.”
Her bottom lip began to quiver violently and when she tried to respond, at first she was only able to make a small squeaking noise. “I’m sorry, Toby, I really am, but what’s done is done and I can’t take it back.”
He started crying then, choking sobs accompanied with long sniffles before he managed to say, “I have to go now” and hung up.
_____________
When Peter tip-toed into the room at three o’clock in the morning, he found Josie sitting up in bed still wide awake with her glazed eyes fixated on The Godfather playing on the television in front of her. He set his keys on the end table and shed his jacket on the couch before walking into their bedroom. “I don’t suppose it’s any coincidence that you’re watching Toby’s favorite movie by yourself in the dark,” he said with a sigh, removing his shoes and pants before climbing into bed next to her.
“The concierge brought it up for me,” she replied flatly, “she went down to the video store and picked it up. Free of charge because she saw how miserable I was when she brought it up.”
“Did you talk to him?”
“Peter, the concierge is a woman here.”
Peter broke into a smile and elbowed her playfully. “I meant Toby, not the concierge.”
“Oh,” she said, averting her eyes and playing with the hem on the duvet, “yeah, I did. I called his phone but he ignored my call, so then I called Josh and talked to him for, like, twenty seconds or something.”
“So it didn’t go well?” Peter asked, looking absolutely scandalized at the notion.
Josie shook her head. “I told him that I missed him and that I love him very much, and all he could do was get upset with me again for not telling him I went to London’s house. He said that he would have come along with me, but London’s such a dick, he starts fights with every guy that’s come into my life since then and I really didn’t want Toby to have to deal with that.”
Peter was quiet for a moment, thinking things over thoroughly before suggesting, “Maybe you should have let Toby make the decision as to whether or not he should have to deal with London.”
Instead of continuing the discussion, Josie rolled over and pulled the blankets up to her ears. “Goodnight, Peter,” she said as the tears in her eyes made the diamond in her more-serious-than-a-promise-ring shine more brightly than usual. She turned the ring around so that the stone was in her palm, and she held it to her chest until she finally fell asleep.