50 things a guy should know???? or not.
Yea read this its funny as hell
I really hope the average girl is not this stupid . werd.
1. Don't tell us when you think other girls are hot. Unless we ask .. and even though we ask, we dont REALLY want to know (I disagreee... i mean. i would totally get in that conversation... keira knightly is fucking hot. Werddddd)
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. ( i do not get this one.. HAHAHA omg TALK TO ME DURING COMMERCIALS OR I WILL GET BORED OR SOMTHING>? )
3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models. (ummm ... pfffff...)
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. (yea or not.. anniversaries are lameeee)
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning. (ummmm since when did guys have a problem with spooning?)
6. When expressing your feelings to us you will never sound "gay" .. its sweet and we like it! (if they are telling a girl they have feelings for them doesnt that in itself prove that they are indeed heterosexual?)
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care. (or not. talking on the phone is pretty lame and it makes my ear sweaty)
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint. (no that is not true i never call anyone. omg omg this whole thing is soo retarded)
9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary. (not sure what that means. and being jealous.. wtf who wants guys to be jealous.)
10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on. (that is true. but putting things in YOUR butt... no no im kidding really)
11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face). (HAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAA omg omgomg. im dying)
12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite. (the girl who wrote this is such a dickkk)
13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not. (omg again shes a bitch an all out bitch. if we are allowed he sohuld be too)
14. Eye contact is key. (key to what.. your heart you fucking loser)
15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do. (why not.. that is cute as hell)
16. Laugh at our jokes. (only if they are funny though i mean fake laughter is suchhh a turn off)
17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty. (that is only one word but ok yea that is true)
18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers. (WHAT?? i hate these double standard statements. girls stalk guys way more than guys stalk girls. this whole thing is soo lame)
19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real. (right ok.. so what does this have to do with 50 things guys should know?)
20. Do not start with us. You will not win. (he probably will win (unless he starts with ME).. but whats the point of starting in the first place?)
21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so. (treated what way?... i suppose all guys should keep that in their head especially when they are thinking of raping someone..derr)
22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way. (derrrrr?)
23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes! (i dont think all girls are as dumb as the one who wrote this)
24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month. (no we have an excuse to feel a bit moody but to be bitchy is not cool)
25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car. (who caressss)
26. We love surprises! (omg yesyes i love them too)
27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue. (ouch.)
28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most. (i agree with this one. awe)
29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometiems . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER! (omg. hahahahahahahha. just HAHAHAHAHHA. i do somewhat agree, boxers are way cuter but pfffffff. nothing im done.)
30. Clean your room before we come over. (or not. i dont do it so why sohuld you)
31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity. (omg yesss. mmmm minty fresh is the bestest)
32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor. (ewwwwwww girls are such dicks. and woah i really would like to delete this one cause i never heard of this before and its fucking weirddddd man)
33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are. (um if your guy is an asshole why are u with him?)
34. Hit it and quit it, because later I'll be with you're best friend and he lasts for hours. (what??? ummmmmm what is this lingo)
35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight. (oooooooooooo ho ho pun. yea guys who are dicks around their friends are in turn just plain old dicks.)
36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!" (actualy no always means no i duno when it means anything else. its like how sometimes when you multiply negative integers you get a positive integer. O-M-G)
37. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion. (hahahahahaaaaaa. they are cute on some guys but if you just wear them to show off your muscles you look like a total asshole)
38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend. (awe. yea videotaping sex is kinda queer)
39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right. (awww i cry so much in movies so i dont think any guy could beat me... so really feel free to cry with me itll be cute)
40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough. (you cant expect him to just say hey ex girlfriend dont cause drama cause she will and they cant just ignore her for you cause if you were in her place you would not want to be ignored k?)
41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays. (forgetting does not equal stupid. but pretending you dont know your birthday is coming up and u give them room to forget.. that is just mean)
42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman. (WTFfffffff. this girl thinks she knows everything)
43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too. (aweeee)
44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG! (ummmmmmm... way to point the blame there... bitch!)
45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware. (dance regardless! )
46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone. (true... us sneaky girls)
47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot. (aweee...)
48. DONT SAY YOU LOVE ME UNLESS YOU MEAN IT!!!!! (OMG ANGRY LETTERS)
49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you. (yea cause we are all psychics you know)
50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you. (i don't get together with "the girls" so um... yea i like to keep relationship stuff to myself for the most part)
I really hope the average girl is not this stupid . werd.
1. Don't tell us when you think other girls are hot. Unless we ask .. and even though we ask, we dont REALLY want to know (I disagreee... i mean. i would totally get in that conversation... keira knightly is fucking hot. Werddddd)
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. ( i do not get this one.. HAHAHA omg TALK TO ME DURING COMMERCIALS OR I WILL GET BORED OR SOMTHING>? )
3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models. (ummm ... pfffff...)
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. (yea or not.. anniversaries are lameeee)
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning. (ummmm since when did guys have a problem with spooning?)
6. When expressing your feelings to us you will never sound "gay" .. its sweet and we like it! (if they are telling a girl they have feelings for them doesnt that in itself prove that they are indeed heterosexual?)
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care. (or not. talking on the phone is pretty lame and it makes my ear sweaty)
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint. (no that is not true i never call anyone. omg omg this whole thing is soo retarded)
9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary. (not sure what that means. and being jealous.. wtf who wants guys to be jealous.)
10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on. (that is true. but putting things in YOUR butt... no no im kidding really)
11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face). (HAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAA omg omgomg. im dying)
12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite. (the girl who wrote this is such a dickkk)
13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not. (omg again shes a bitch an all out bitch. if we are allowed he sohuld be too)
14. Eye contact is key. (key to what.. your heart you fucking loser)
15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do. (why not.. that is cute as hell)
16. Laugh at our jokes. (only if they are funny though i mean fake laughter is suchhh a turn off)
17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty. (that is only one word but ok yea that is true)
18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers. (WHAT?? i hate these double standard statements. girls stalk guys way more than guys stalk girls. this whole thing is soo lame)
19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real. (right ok.. so what does this have to do with 50 things guys should know?)
20. Do not start with us. You will not win. (he probably will win (unless he starts with ME).. but whats the point of starting in the first place?)
21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so. (treated what way?... i suppose all guys should keep that in their head especially when they are thinking of raping someone..derr)
22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way. (derrrrr?)
23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes! (i dont think all girls are as dumb as the one who wrote this)
24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month. (no we have an excuse to feel a bit moody but to be bitchy is not cool)
25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car. (who caressss)
26. We love surprises! (omg yesyes i love them too)
27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue. (ouch.)
28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most. (i agree with this one. awe)
29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometiems . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER! (omg. hahahahahahahha. just HAHAHAHAHHA. i do somewhat agree, boxers are way cuter but pfffffff. nothing im done.)
30. Clean your room before we come over. (or not. i dont do it so why sohuld you)
31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity. (omg yesss. mmmm minty fresh is the bestest)
32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor. (ewwwwwww girls are such dicks. and woah i really would like to delete this one cause i never heard of this before and its fucking weirddddd man)
33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are. (um if your guy is an asshole why are u with him?)
34. Hit it and quit it, because later I'll be with you're best friend and he lasts for hours. (what??? ummmmmm what is this lingo)
35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight. (oooooooooooo ho ho pun. yea guys who are dicks around their friends are in turn just plain old dicks.)
36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!" (actualy no always means no i duno when it means anything else. its like how sometimes when you multiply negative integers you get a positive integer. O-M-G)
37. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion. (hahahahahaaaaaa. they are cute on some guys but if you just wear them to show off your muscles you look like a total asshole)
38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend. (awe. yea videotaping sex is kinda queer)
39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right. (awww i cry so much in movies so i dont think any guy could beat me... so really feel free to cry with me itll be cute)
40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough. (you cant expect him to just say hey ex girlfriend dont cause drama cause she will and they cant just ignore her for you cause if you were in her place you would not want to be ignored k?)
41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays. (forgetting does not equal stupid. but pretending you dont know your birthday is coming up and u give them room to forget.. that is just mean)
42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman. (WTFfffffff. this girl thinks she knows everything)
43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too. (aweeee)
44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG! (ummmmmmm... way to point the blame there... bitch!)
45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware. (dance regardless! )
46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone. (true... us sneaky girls)
47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot. (aweee...)
48. DONT SAY YOU LOVE ME UNLESS YOU MEAN IT!!!!! (OMG ANGRY LETTERS)
49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you. (yea cause we are all psychics you know)
50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you. (i don't get together with "the girls" so um... yea i like to keep relationship stuff to myself for the most part)