It sure hasn't taken very long for me to slip back into the vague, ambiguous-as-shit groove of inarticulacy that LiveJournal offers for the pissed and rash at heart; I was simply going to post exclaiming that "I hated everything!" but a recent turn of events has persuaded me to complete an enumerated list
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you're still young and life is long.
you'll have plenty of time to fuck up and do it all over again.
trust me, i've been doing it for years.
:-P
seriously though, find an easy job that will pay your basic bills,
then you are free to do whatever you want for as long as you want.
and as far as feeling exceptional goes...
it's not that important. feeling satisfied is much harder.
i guess the question to ask is - what do you want out of life?
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but i have the utmost faith in you sweetheart. you ARE smart and there's no question about it.
dont let yourself get consumed by the negativity either. you'll rock those applications and show them up. have faith in yourself and you can do anything. (as cheesy as that sounds)
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