(no subject)
This is probably the most honest thing I've read about men from a man's perspective (via IMBOYCRAZY however many moons ago), and it still sticks to me. It definitely has provoked a lot of mixed emotions- mostly of hating men- but that's not very fair I guess. Albeit, fairness doesn't always rule out feeling.
I am feeling a need to share this with someone and i thought you might
be the one to talk to about it. i asked a straight male friend to
share his honest perspective on my life’s recent events. What he
revealed was enlightening and honest.
he writes:
I just have an ego, insecurity, and a taste for the unknown, guys wanna
fuck and feel masculine and it gets boring and it’s not the girls
fault. Europeans have mistresses, mafia guys too. It makes sense. You
have your love, your partner, the one who you share your life with,
the everyday friend and last phone call and cuddle buddy on the couch
to iron chef with and then you have some extra physical on the side to
keep you from resenting that love. Plus if he’s surrounded by
opportunity all the time, he will want to take it. If nothing else you
should be happy that he didn’t lie about being with someone and
continue the charade.
It’s all about him and NOT you. His deficiencies, his insecurities,
NOT YOURS. You are better than him: hot and funny and weird and
original and smarter than the rest. But don’t kid yourself, the no
labels thing was not what you wanted… you let him have that cause
you wanted him. Even though I now find myself in a scenario where and
am dating a girl exclusively, I don’t feel anywhere near done having
meaningless sexual escapades with strange girls. I don’t know why
not, maybe cause my dad gave me Henry Millers “Quiet Days in Clichy”
when I was 14 to read… I’m just ready to give it a rest for now. And
he didn’t want that cause he’s not ready to be DONE and that has
NOTHING to do with you.
**Then I asked him, what is the solution to this ongoing problem?**
he writes:
There are mistresses. There is Mormonism. There are people in loveless
marriages that work out of financial convenience. There are people who
stay together for the sake of their kids. There are men who just give
up the sex to have a mother/wife. The issue is: the guys you are
attracted to have ego and ambition and that usually goes hand and hand
with sexual prowess. You could find a nerd who has never been with a
girl and you could take on the role of aggressor. You could find a
lonely heart who is SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU. YOU’RE A CATCH. But you know
what they say “find me a beautiful girl and i’ll show you a guy who’s
tired of fucking her”. Leo dumped Giselle…I mean we’re f’d…
(to be continued……..)
(continued from yesterday’s post)
he wrote:
It’s hard to tell sometimes, people’s survival mechanisms kick in and
they become great at living double lives, but actions generally speak
louder than words. Steve Harvey has a great line in his book “act like
a woman, think like a man”. when he says “men love different than women.
he wont tell you he loves you all the time, so don’t expect it. but if
he takes you out to hang with his boys, he’s showing that you’re his
girl, that exhibition of coupledom in front of that group of people is
almost more significant than the word.”
To get some insight, I have a pretty girl. She’s sweet as candy,
LOVESSSS me so much, would do anything for me. I think she’s the
coolest, but I still think I can do better. I think I can get some
celeb chick AND I KNOW that she’ll be annoying and awful, and totally
lifeless and my girl now is better. But it’s the ego, the adventure
and the thrill of the hunt. Its so you get that rush of adrenaline
when you kiss a girl for the first time, and the next morning you can
look in the mirror and say “GOOD STUFF” and the kid version of you
high fives the 29 year old version of yourself. Warren Beaty slept his
way to Annette Bening and she seems fucking awesome. Bill Mahr doesn’t
have a wife cause he is sharper without one. Spielberg married young,
divorced when he got famous and married some actresses from his movie
at the height of his powers. its just animal.
Going ahead in the future, you should protect yourself as much as you
can before you are comfortable enough to open up. Your lesson about
guys who come on strong is right, they are usually overcompensating
for something. Be a cynic but be open and don’t become a man hater.
Even though what he did was selfish and shitty, he was sweet and
tender and truly cared about you, but love sucks when it’s one sided,
and that is why you should try to avoid it at all costs until you find
someone who is ready to travel that road to its ultimate conclusion, a
singular relationship with a person to be fully committed to.
I am feeling a need to share this with someone and i thought you might
be the one to talk to about it. i asked a straight male friend to
share his honest perspective on my life’s recent events. What he
revealed was enlightening and honest.
he writes:
I just have an ego, insecurity, and a taste for the unknown, guys wanna
fuck and feel masculine and it gets boring and it’s not the girls
fault. Europeans have mistresses, mafia guys too. It makes sense. You
have your love, your partner, the one who you share your life with,
the everyday friend and last phone call and cuddle buddy on the couch
to iron chef with and then you have some extra physical on the side to
keep you from resenting that love. Plus if he’s surrounded by
opportunity all the time, he will want to take it. If nothing else you
should be happy that he didn’t lie about being with someone and
continue the charade.
It’s all about him and NOT you. His deficiencies, his insecurities,
NOT YOURS. You are better than him: hot and funny and weird and
original and smarter than the rest. But don’t kid yourself, the no
labels thing was not what you wanted… you let him have that cause
you wanted him. Even though I now find myself in a scenario where and
am dating a girl exclusively, I don’t feel anywhere near done having
meaningless sexual escapades with strange girls. I don’t know why
not, maybe cause my dad gave me Henry Millers “Quiet Days in Clichy”
when I was 14 to read… I’m just ready to give it a rest for now. And
he didn’t want that cause he’s not ready to be DONE and that has
NOTHING to do with you.
**Then I asked him, what is the solution to this ongoing problem?**
he writes:
There are mistresses. There is Mormonism. There are people in loveless
marriages that work out of financial convenience. There are people who
stay together for the sake of their kids. There are men who just give
up the sex to have a mother/wife. The issue is: the guys you are
attracted to have ego and ambition and that usually goes hand and hand
with sexual prowess. You could find a nerd who has never been with a
girl and you could take on the role of aggressor. You could find a
lonely heart who is SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU. YOU’RE A CATCH. But you know
what they say “find me a beautiful girl and i’ll show you a guy who’s
tired of fucking her”. Leo dumped Giselle…I mean we’re f’d…
(to be continued……..)
(continued from yesterday’s post)
he wrote:
It’s hard to tell sometimes, people’s survival mechanisms kick in and
they become great at living double lives, but actions generally speak
louder than words. Steve Harvey has a great line in his book “act like
a woman, think like a man”. when he says “men love different than women.
he wont tell you he loves you all the time, so don’t expect it. but if
he takes you out to hang with his boys, he’s showing that you’re his
girl, that exhibition of coupledom in front of that group of people is
almost more significant than the word.”
To get some insight, I have a pretty girl. She’s sweet as candy,
LOVESSSS me so much, would do anything for me. I think she’s the
coolest, but I still think I can do better. I think I can get some
celeb chick AND I KNOW that she’ll be annoying and awful, and totally
lifeless and my girl now is better. But it’s the ego, the adventure
and the thrill of the hunt. Its so you get that rush of adrenaline
when you kiss a girl for the first time, and the next morning you can
look in the mirror and say “GOOD STUFF” and the kid version of you
high fives the 29 year old version of yourself. Warren Beaty slept his
way to Annette Bening and she seems fucking awesome. Bill Mahr doesn’t
have a wife cause he is sharper without one. Spielberg married young,
divorced when he got famous and married some actresses from his movie
at the height of his powers. its just animal.
Going ahead in the future, you should protect yourself as much as you
can before you are comfortable enough to open up. Your lesson about
guys who come on strong is right, they are usually overcompensating
for something. Be a cynic but be open and don’t become a man hater.
Even though what he did was selfish and shitty, he was sweet and
tender and truly cared about you, but love sucks when it’s one sided,
and that is why you should try to avoid it at all costs until you find
someone who is ready to travel that road to its ultimate conclusion, a
singular relationship with a person to be fully committed to.