The Pretender: Tristan and Isolde
Title: The Pretender
Author: blueeyelinerx
Rating: PG
Word Count: 453
Pairing/Character: Isolde's reflections
Summary: He doesn’t know that I think about someone else. That it is someone else I smile about, someone else I dream of, someone else I love.
I am going to break his heart.
I know it.
He thinks I’m this fantastic person, that he’s finally found someone who is worth all the effort. He likes my smile and my eyes and the way I twist my hair when I’m thinking.
He doesn’t know that I think about someone else. That it is someone else I smile about, someone else I dream of, someone else I love.
I’m a terrible person. I know I like him. Why shouldn’t I? He’s a good man. He’s attractive and smart and powerful. But there was never that ... desire, that spark. Can something that was blindly arranged become true love? Can something that was so despised in the beginning become something treasured? Can something like love bloom between us when my heart belongs to another?
He doesn’t have any idea who I really am. I’m a wonderful actress. I smile when someone mentions his name. I mention him idely in conversation. I kiss him on the cheek during walks in the market. But it’s all autopilot. I play the part of adoring wife and all I can think about is how I can get away from him.
I’m a selfish person. I used to cry myself to sleep, wondering if I was destined to be alone forever. And then I found someone who made all the loneliness disappear and he slipped through my fingers too quickly, like sand through an hourglass that measures the last hour of life. It’s an apt simile, ironically. Because every day that passes means less time we will have together. Less time for disguised comments and featherweight touches as we pass each other. Less time for longing and for wishing it could all be different.
I’m a bad person. The best moments of my days are the stolen ones with my true love. I think about our secret hideaway and I decorate it in my mind. I dream of a place where we can be together forever. Where the constant feeling of dread is not an anchor in my stomach. Dread that our brief time together will end. Dread we will be caught. Dread that stolen moments will be all we have for the rest of our lives. I used to wonder what it was like to cheat on someone and not get caught - is it a horrible, guilty feeling or is it this amazing power trip? Now I know that it is a little bit of both. There is a guilt that weighs you down but there is a euphoria in it as well because the time I spend with him is the only time in which I am truly myself.
Truly happy.
I’m going to break his heart.
Author: blueeyelinerx
Rating: PG
Word Count: 453
Pairing/Character: Isolde's reflections
Summary: He doesn’t know that I think about someone else. That it is someone else I smile about, someone else I dream of, someone else I love.
I am going to break his heart.
I know it.
He thinks I’m this fantastic person, that he’s finally found someone who is worth all the effort. He likes my smile and my eyes and the way I twist my hair when I’m thinking.
He doesn’t know that I think about someone else. That it is someone else I smile about, someone else I dream of, someone else I love.
I’m a terrible person. I know I like him. Why shouldn’t I? He’s a good man. He’s attractive and smart and powerful. But there was never that ... desire, that spark. Can something that was blindly arranged become true love? Can something that was so despised in the beginning become something treasured? Can something like love bloom between us when my heart belongs to another?
He doesn’t have any idea who I really am. I’m a wonderful actress. I smile when someone mentions his name. I mention him idely in conversation. I kiss him on the cheek during walks in the market. But it’s all autopilot. I play the part of adoring wife and all I can think about is how I can get away from him.
I’m a selfish person. I used to cry myself to sleep, wondering if I was destined to be alone forever. And then I found someone who made all the loneliness disappear and he slipped through my fingers too quickly, like sand through an hourglass that measures the last hour of life. It’s an apt simile, ironically. Because every day that passes means less time we will have together. Less time for disguised comments and featherweight touches as we pass each other. Less time for longing and for wishing it could all be different.
I’m a bad person. The best moments of my days are the stolen ones with my true love. I think about our secret hideaway and I decorate it in my mind. I dream of a place where we can be together forever. Where the constant feeling of dread is not an anchor in my stomach. Dread that our brief time together will end. Dread we will be caught. Dread that stolen moments will be all we have for the rest of our lives. I used to wonder what it was like to cheat on someone and not get caught - is it a horrible, guilty feeling or is it this amazing power trip? Now I know that it is a little bit of both. There is a guilt that weighs you down but there is a euphoria in it as well because the time I spend with him is the only time in which I am truly myself.
Truly happy.
I’m going to break his heart.