(no subject)
Professor Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore
Order of Merlin, First Class
Grand Sorcerer
Supreme Mugwump of International Confederation of Wizards
Cheif Warlock of Wizengamont
Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
This is to inform you that the Ministry of Magic has seen it fit to include a new subject in the basic educational curriculum. The subject of Sexual Health Education, more commonly known as Sex Ed, must be included in your roster of classes for this school year. This is an experimental step in the Ministry's program to educate young witches and wizards about the peril and risks of sex. Topics like contraception and homosexuality will be left at the instructor's discretion. Students in their third year and higher must take this subject at least once before they can graduate from Hogwarts.
As of this moment, the Ministry has been informed of three professors who have volunteered to teach the subject. Professor Steward, Professor Colbear, and the strange man who says he is the Professor of Herbology have all presented themselves willing. The Ministry would also like to suggest you appoint one of the many Healers you have under your employ. It might be helpful if you assign a specific year level to each teacher.
Anticipating a favorable response,
Dolores Jane Umbridge
Junior Undersecretary of the Minister's Undersecretary
Ministry of Magic
-------------------
Professor A.P.W.B. Dumbledore
Order of Merlin
So on and so forth
On a personal note, might I suggest you hold these sex education classes for three hours? Possibly in the hottest, most uncomfortable class room you have? Perpahs you should pay special attention to the Ravenclaw House since they have shown a varried history of promiscuity and such.
Yours Trully,
Dolores Jane Umbridge