to find out that the shit i have been sitting here protecting, the one thing i always stood up for, the shit i would sit and preech to people hoping they would see it my way. that shit is fake. it fucking kills to find that out. its so fucking pathetic how fucked up society is. to sit there and protect yourself when other peoples life is at hand. ( Read more... )

fuck. i cant believe im so fucking stupid. its happening it is and i cant stop it. im so fucking stupid. i run and hide and there it is. i hate it. hes leaving. this time its real its there. im so scared. fuck ( Read more... )

summer is approaching.
i hate feelings. is there? are there? i cant stand the fact that i am actually becomming interested in someone. i fucking hate it. especially because its with him. i mean its so expected. so ovious. what girl wouldnt want him? my god. how fucking ironic.


( Read more... )

selfish, selfish, selfish

open up your eyes you worthless piece of shit. its not just me. yes yes you do take part in this also. fuck you for thinking that.

im sick of this shit.
go ahead. make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall, but theres always someone cooler than you.
go fuck yourselves

the days progress and the confusion grows greater. how i loathed the fact that love is in the question. my mind, emotions and strength have become amuned to decieve what it is i hide from, what it is i wish wasnt there. the chase begins as i have already begun to run. you cant escape it. no matter how hard you fucking try its always there in front ( Read more... )

hanging out with him is only makeing this situation harder.
i fucking hate it.
the roles have switched cast members as now he feels what i had felt before. not necessaraly sharing the feeling, but knowing someone else has had the same confusion, the same pain is odd.

ohh the pain has just begun. stick around to see the show

the confusion grows as my mind begins to boggle whe it is he wants. happiness of course but with that happiness comes pain and i wonder how long it will be until his heart grows confused and curious. how to deal with this situation is completly out of my hands. i dont know what it is he wants me to do. shall i evpose him with the most unconditional ( Read more... )

ha, how fucking selfish to sit here and be happy that things are changing. i hate this. its pathetic how fucking shitty i am. its happening right in front of me and im too fucking scared to face it. i hate how i fucking hide. well there it is .. a slap in the face.

everyone doesnt want anyone to succeed. its bullshit
( the only thing holding me back is you )

today was fun. beautiful. it is by far the best feeling in the world to have tears of joy.
      walking throughout what is saught out to be a beautiful painting, hearing church bells ding. in a sense of perfectionessbrought back the feeling back. sharing it with them was amazing. one ( Read more... )