(no subject)
Must hurt knowing that barely days after you broke up there is another in his bed.
I keep hearing that over and over ever since the silly third year said it to me. Apparently the moment I ran from the room, Justin became the most eligible bachelor. Two nights after, I watched Susan go to Justin's bed. I was up with nightmares. I sat a table in the Common Room, working on finishing my last Transfiguration Essay. I looked up when I heard her moving. I never thought...Susan. No, Susan wouldn't they are friends.
Darn it. I am not with him any more, I shouldn't be jealous. But dam...darn it that is where I want to be. Justin doesn't want me anymore. He won't even look at me. He...isn't mine anymore.
Padma...after she watched me through my panic attacks, goes to sleep with Justin. I have never been used before, but I am beginning to think that I was. Be my friend, because you want my boyfriend. And leave me as soon as you have him.
I feel so alone. But miraculously I have not cried since my panic attack. That's the good news. The bad news, is I feel cold and empty inside. Not that it matters, nothing does. Just my studies. Forget about boys, bury yourself in your studies. Maybe it is for the best.
It's just that...
I feel so cold.