(no subject)
Alright, I have all the quotes I need. This article is uber long, now. Awesome. The finished product is behind the cut...All the quoted people are sophomores, but that's ok.
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Ladies and gentlemen, the green pixy stix are dead. The most belovéd of all flavors is no longer in existence. I have searched far and wide for many years to no avail; they just aren't around anymore. That, my friends, is just wrong.
For those who do not know what pixy stix are, I am deeply sorry that you have had to live without them all these years. Pixy stix are small tubes of pure, flavored, sugary goodness. Unfortunately, you will never know the joys of lime-flavored pixy stix. They by far surpass the blue, purple, orange, and red varieties of pixy stix currently available at your local supermarket; it is such a tragedy that younger generations will never understand the pure bliss contained in one tube of green glory.
Pixy stix veterans are aghast at the disappearance of lime. Whenever I had to break this devastating news to a pixy stix lover, I received the same wide-eyed “NO!” Little do they know, there haven't been lime pixy stix around here for years. It is only recently that I made the heart-wrenching realization and told my friends about it.
“I feel as though there's a void in my life. And that void is green and detrimental to teeth.” sophomore Elise Fariello said. Some, such as sophomore Heather Giuffre, blame the government: “The government took away all the green pixy stix. It is most definitely a conspiracy.”
This sudden disappearance has caused nightmares for others. Another sophomore, Nick Prakas, said, “I dreamt I went to a store and found a package of green pixy stix, and I was going to buy them but they were sixty-two dollars.” Does this foreshadow a re-release of the flavor followed by a drastic price hike? Who knows.
Sophomore Eric Deutsch said, “Ever since the green pixy stick left the family, violence has escalated on the streets, and a new turf war is emerging between those favoring the change and those who consider themselves 'old-school' fans of the greens. I would tell you what side I'm on, but I fear for my life...and my lunch money.”
While cherry, grape, orange, and whatever the blue flavor is supposed to be will suffice, they can never fill the gaping void left by lime. Somebody at Wonka seems to have decided that green is not important - they are sorely mistaken. If they won't produce lime, they may as well just shut down the Wonka factory now and give it up. I'm sure the Oompa-Loompas won't mind; they've got better things to do than make lime-less bags of pixy stix.
I compel you to raise your voices against this injustice, Smithtown. If children must get cavities from eating these really, really, ridiculously good candies, then allow them to do so with the greatest flavor of all: lime.
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I have decided that My Super Sweet Sixteen is the worst show ever. It celebrates stupid, spoiled, rich kids who don't have friends so they invite the whole damn school to boost their self-esteem. Or that's what the last episode was like.
Party at Kevin's house today. Rock. I'm bringing sooooo many pixy stix it's ridiculous.
Later:
New: Kevin's Party Pics!!!
Party Video One
Party Video Two
_________________________________________
Ladies and gentlemen, the green pixy stix are dead. The most belovéd of all flavors is no longer in existence. I have searched far and wide for many years to no avail; they just aren't around anymore. That, my friends, is just wrong.
For those who do not know what pixy stix are, I am deeply sorry that you have had to live without them all these years. Pixy stix are small tubes of pure, flavored, sugary goodness. Unfortunately, you will never know the joys of lime-flavored pixy stix. They by far surpass the blue, purple, orange, and red varieties of pixy stix currently available at your local supermarket; it is such a tragedy that younger generations will never understand the pure bliss contained in one tube of green glory.
Pixy stix veterans are aghast at the disappearance of lime. Whenever I had to break this devastating news to a pixy stix lover, I received the same wide-eyed “NO!” Little do they know, there haven't been lime pixy stix around here for years. It is only recently that I made the heart-wrenching realization and told my friends about it.
“I feel as though there's a void in my life. And that void is green and detrimental to teeth.” sophomore Elise Fariello said. Some, such as sophomore Heather Giuffre, blame the government: “The government took away all the green pixy stix. It is most definitely a conspiracy.”
This sudden disappearance has caused nightmares for others. Another sophomore, Nick Prakas, said, “I dreamt I went to a store and found a package of green pixy stix, and I was going to buy them but they were sixty-two dollars.” Does this foreshadow a re-release of the flavor followed by a drastic price hike? Who knows.
Sophomore Eric Deutsch said, “Ever since the green pixy stick left the family, violence has escalated on the streets, and a new turf war is emerging between those favoring the change and those who consider themselves 'old-school' fans of the greens. I would tell you what side I'm on, but I fear for my life...and my lunch money.”
While cherry, grape, orange, and whatever the blue flavor is supposed to be will suffice, they can never fill the gaping void left by lime. Somebody at Wonka seems to have decided that green is not important - they are sorely mistaken. If they won't produce lime, they may as well just shut down the Wonka factory now and give it up. I'm sure the Oompa-Loompas won't mind; they've got better things to do than make lime-less bags of pixy stix.
I compel you to raise your voices against this injustice, Smithtown. If children must get cavities from eating these really, really, ridiculously good candies, then allow them to do so with the greatest flavor of all: lime.
______________________________________________
I have decided that My Super Sweet Sixteen is the worst show ever. It celebrates stupid, spoiled, rich kids who don't have friends so they invite the whole damn school to boost their self-esteem. Or that's what the last episode was like.
Party at Kevin's house today. Rock. I'm bringing sooooo many pixy stix it's ridiculous.
Later:
New: Kevin's Party Pics!!!
Party Video One
Party Video Two