(no subject)
i watched the five people you meet in heaven while i was babysitting tonight. My whole philosophy about heaven was, when you die. Your body stays 6 feet under and your soul goes somewhere else.(I know that it's not the clouds because where do the angels go when it's a clear sky?)Anyway, your soul goes somewhere else and heaven is your time to fix everything you did in life.Even the little things. For example ;; You and a good friend you once knew got into a huge fight over something so silly and never talked again. When you go to heaven, You find that friend and say, "Hey Tony, i'm sorry about that fight we had. It was stupid on both our parts. Let's start over." People would do the same to you and so on and so forth. Any sin-less pleasure you loved doing in life is there to do and every person you loved to be with is there too. I'm not sure if i believe in hell. I mean, i would think if there is a hell, it's only for people who are truly un-sorry for the bad things they've done. If i could choose what hell could be like, i'd make it just like heaven only, you wouldn't be able to do anything. Like, you could see everyone else making up for lost time and being happy and you wouldn't be able to talk or touch them. That makes me think that there should be a heaven for those people though because eternity is a long time to watch people do everything and you're not allowed to.
Anywayz, the movie was really good. I feel a little better about dying even though i shouldn't be thinking about that kind of stuff at this age. The movie also showed love and how much the main character(Eddie) really loved his wife. Eddie, being my poppy's name(who is now deceased) is someone who i thought about during the movie. How much he loved my nanny. They got married at 17 because of the war and were together until they died . They were married 55 years.My nanny used to tell me stories of how my poppy would do anything to see her.He'd skip school and make a total fool out of himself just for her. I hope i find love like they had one day.
So, Christmas is in a few days. I sold my drumset today for 125.00 . I didn't sell my crash cymbol yet so if anyone wants to buy it i'm selling it for 85.00 and i will bargain. I also dyed my hair black. Generic?yes.
I'm working on quitting smoking. Gradually. I think it's dumb and i know i was doing it just because my mom/James and Joe/ the world is so against just me doing it and i thought it relieved my stress. I really dont know why i'm like that. I guess i get my stubborn-ness from my nanny.I'm saving up for an ipod. Even though that was the only thing i asked for this christmas, my mom said no..
Yeah, i need to find a pyschologist or something. My mom is really weird. So is my dad. Everyones weird to me.
Uhm i think i'm finally done writting but i'm sure i'll update this super long tomorow.
bye