im back to writing again, as i find myself further down the spiral that i had anticipated. i seem to have such an odd effect on any man that i attempt to dabble with, and finding one is rare enough. not that i dont get hit on; in fact, more than ever. however, when i do attempt to bed one...he seems to run away after the fact. i offer myself ( Read more... )

yeah...its been more than awhile. life in the fast lane reached lightening speed. a quick recap of that which is my life ( Read more... )

i just worked for 72 hours straight without sleep. i made it, which was surprising. however, im not doing so well. what is the point of busting my ass? i have no one to come home to. no friends around me because i work too much and im flat broke. at least if i had lots of money then it would be something. or like before. i had a boyfriend that i ( Read more... )

and..........just to compare....my girlfriend just posted this one of me....


( Read more... )

facebook is awesome. someone just posted a photo album from the hamptons which included a photo taken of my ex boyfriend and the whore he was cheating with at the time. we we were still together when this was shot (and happened to be in attendance!). want to see her hotness?


( Read more... )

its the evenings that hurt the most. the time when i stop working long enough to feel the silence of loniness. you left me here. you left this mess. how could you have lived knowing that you were breaking me? how could you have told me you loved me while returning home from another? in the end, i was disposable. it was too bad for me that i chose ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

( Read more... )

why am i watching sex and the city? i mean, ive really wanted to see this movie so i figured id risk the tears. yep, dumb idea. its still hurts. all the time. i cant make it stop. ive almost gone to the hospital three times now.

i dont know what to do. i dont know if im going to make it.

its not getting better, its getting worse. as the anger fades the pain intensifies. im finding it difficult to complete the simplest tasks, and cry sporatically throughout the day. im beginning to think that i need medication to help me get through. i can rationalize why the relationship wasnt going to work.....but it doesnt stop my anguish. i dont ( Read more... )