can't get shot in the back, if you don't run
Haven't been sleeping well. Or at all. Lately. Scaring Nickolej. Trembling, twitcthing, passing out and not being able to be woken. Which I suppose means sleep, but sheer fear is not sleep. I'm scared of the dark. I have'nt been scared of the dark since I was a kid. Terrified in my sleep. Took my mom's relaxants last night and tonight. Stopped me from shaking and twitching, but didn't stop the fear. I'm scared to sleep. I don't like being at home, where I have to sleep alone. I miss the comfort of being pulled out of the terror by someone, having someone there to hold me and tell me it's okay. To get me water, take me out of bed and watch tv with me.
Been feeling detatched. Alone, though I know I'm not. A mood I'll patiently wait to pass me by.
Scared to see a doctor about my sleep issues. I can't do medication again. I can't be a mindless zombie again.
I miss you.