ai_you
in
_jrockrpg_
Cha/You (back) log
[OMG, we're alive o.o]
A bit drained and tired from another long bout of setting up for this weekend's shows, Cha walked through the unfamiliar hotel room, tired eyes looking for his lover who had left long before him.
You stood in the bathroom, medication in hand when he heard the door to their shared room open and close. He felt himself tense a bit before he could shake the feeling off. Tossing the pills back, he swallowed them down with help from the glass of water in his hand and after setting the plastic cup on the counter top he turned off the light and left the bathroom to find Cha wandering a bit aimlessly. "Looking for something?"
"Only for you." Cha gave his lover a tired smile as he took a few more steps forward and wrapped his arms around his lover's waist, and laid his weary head against his chest. Closing his eyes he absorbed the sound of his lover's heartbeat. "...Only for you..."
Sliding his arms around the smaller man, he stood there with him, breathing in the other's scent before shifting a bit to lift the man into his arms. Cradling his lover, he walked them both into the bedroom, gently laying Cha on the bed before crawling on top of the covers with him. "You've been working too hard..."
"No I've not... There is just so much to do... and I should have been more prepared, but I... just wasn't." He couldn't offer any more explanation then that, instead he just curled up against his lover and held onto him tightly. "I love you, you know...."
"I know," You replied, his lips brushing against the other's forehead. His hand rubbed Cha's back in comforting circles. "...but there's a reason you're co-producer, Cha. You're not the one in the pilot's seat."
"I know..." His voice was soft as he looked up at You, bringing his hand up to caress the violinist's cheek. "When was the last time...when was the last time we made love? Is it sad that it has been so long that I can't remember?"
You pressed a soft kiss to the other's forehead. "No..." he whispered. "It's not sad. You've had other things on your mind. We both have." His fingers slipped under Cha's shirt and drew spirals on the small of his back as he pressed his cheek into the man's hand. He missed being with him, these soft caresses.
"To tell the truth... it has been on my mind... I've been afraid... that because of things with your family... you'd stopped wanting me like that anymore." Cha felt horrible at having to confess this to You, but it was a thought that had entered his mind more then once, and while it broke his heart to doubt his lover, at the same time it was such a great relief to finally be able to voice his concerns.
"Oh, Cha..." You pulled the smaller man into his arms and held him tight. He wanted to say that his feelings for the other had never wavered.
But then he'd be lying.
Swallowing, he said slowly, "For a time...I did. I was so disappointed in myself for being someone who I later realized I wanted to be that...I withdrew. I tried to force myself to stop thinking of you as my lover. And....the more I did that, the deeper I fell."
He paused a moment, trying to make sense of his feelings. "But...once I realized what I wanted....once I realized who I wanted to be...I discovered that I didn't want to be alone. That I didn't want to be without you." His fingers ran through the other's dark hair. "You brought so much light into my life, so much happiness that I had never known before. And I realized that...to let such a beautiful thing slip through my fingers...I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I let you go."
You's words stung, and yet, it was something that he'd felt the entire time that his lover had been distant. Nodding, he nuzzled against his lover's neck. "But, we're okay now, ne?" Blinking the tears away from his eyes that were brought on by too many emotions and too little sleep, his voice was small as he continued. "I want us to be okay..."
Tilting Cha's face up to look at him, You smiled. "Yes, we're okay. I love you. So very much." He brought their lips together in a chaste kiss, a simple exploration of lips, as he held him tight.
Falling into the kiss, he ceased to think about anything other then how good it felt to be in his lover's arms like this once more. How he'd missed this comfort, knowing that he was loved and wanted. Returning the kiss, he slowly licked at You's lips, begging for entrance.
You's eyes fluttered as the other's tongue caressed his lips. Parting them, he let it slide into his mouth and he sucked lightly on the intruding muscle. Its partner ran along its length. His hands meanwhile moved down Cha's sides before running up the smaller man's body to cup his face between them. You rolled carefully onto his back, gently pulling the other man on top of him.
Whimpering softly through the kiss he rolled and settled his petite form on top of You's body. Pulling back he looked deeply into his lover's eyes and smiled, really smiled. Gently, he ran the pads of his fingers over the curves of You's cheekbones. "Aishiteru."
The younger man's hands fell to his lover's forearms, lightly caressing the muscles under the warm skin. "I love you too..." he breathed. Turning his head, he kissed the palm of Cha's right hand before his dark eyes blinked up and fixed the other with a trusting gaze...but a level of uncertainty lurked just below the surface.
Cha paused as he looked down at his lover; the look was not lost on him. "Is this okay You?... if its too fast...." Cha paused and looked understandingly at the man he loved. He'd do anything for the man he loved, even if that meant putting his own needs on hold again.
You shook his head and pulled the other man down to him, wrapping his arms around Cha's shoulders and neck. Burying his face in the other's neck, he whispered, "I want to be with you...to feel you..." He paused to pepper butterfly kisses to what he could reach of the other's neck, then, "...I want you in me tonight."
"You..." Blushing he looked horribly shy. He didn't fancy himself as a very good seme, and for You to be asking him now he wasn't sure if he could. "Are-are you sure? I don't know if I would be any good right now..."
The butterfly kisses continued up to the other's jaw line. He chuckled softly at uncertainty in the other's voice. "Well one of us is going to have to take the initiative, isn't he?" he murmured against Cha's ear. Sliding out from underneath the smaller man, he flipped them both over so their positions were switched. His lips never leaving the other's skin, he whispered, "Arms up, Love..."
The guitarist gasped at how quickly their positions were changed once more. Looking up at You, his cheeks were still tinted with pink, even as he raised his arms. "I'm sorry... I'm not feeling very strong or dominate at the moment..."
Sliding the t-shirt up and off of the other man, he settled himself more fully on top of him. You pressed his lips against Cha's, his tongue sliding out to taste the other's lower lip before quickly retreating into his own mouth. "I'll give you a rain check..." he whispered, kissing his lover once more before beginning his trek down the smaller body.
Shivering, he brought his hands up to rub against You's arms, holding his lover to him, the feel of You's skin under his fingertips made him so happy. Dark eyes watched You travel down his body, his stomach as tied up in knots as it was the first night they were together.
You's lips moved down Cha's body, lining up kisses one behind the other. Turning his head, he took one of the other's raised nipples into his mouth, sucking lightly while his thumb rolled over its partner. After a moment, he continued his trek down Cha's body, dipping his tongue into the man's navel while his hands busied themselves with the undoing of Cha's jeans.
"Ahhh..." Cha squirmed as he bit down on his lip to stifle his moan. It had been so horribly long since they'd done anything like this. He was already hot and dizzy from just the few small movements his lover was making against his body. You's name drifted from his lips as a whispered sigh, as he raised his hips so his lover could rid him of the denim around his waist.
The other man nuzzled his lover's smooth stomach as his fingers hooked into the waistband of both Cha's pants and underwear, sliding them off of his hips, letting bunch under his chest somewhere just above the older man's knees. His tongue flicked out to taste the soft curve of his hipbone before descending lower to take the head of the other's sex into his mouth.
And with that one deft movement Cha's head fell to the side and he cried out at the pleasure surrounding him. The cry filtering down to soft moans as his hips tried to move under You's weight to get closer to the warmth of his lover's mouth. The guitarist's hands scratched across the sheets until they could find purchase enough to grab and ball up the white satin in his fists
You spread his hands against Cha's hips, successfully keeping his thrusting to a minimum. He moaned softly around the flesh in his mouth before lowering his head to draw it deeper, his tongue sliding against the underside of the man's length.
"Y-Younnnnnnhhhhhh....." He already knew he wasn't going to last long; he ached for release already and could feel it building inside of him with every pass of You's hot mouth over his sex. One hand lifted from the sheets to tangle in You's head and pull him closer when he was no longer able to lift his hips.
The violinist bobbed his head, groaning again when he felt Cha's fingers tangle in his hair. He knew the other was close, and he would have smiled if his mouth wasn't otherwise occupied. He withdrew to the tip, his tongue slowly swirling over the head before drawing it all back into his mouth, feeling Cha's cock thrust against the back of his throat. He moaned.
That last downward motion from his lover was all it took to set Cha off. Arching up against the hands that pushed him back down into the soft bed, he thrust as much as he was allowed to as his voice rang out for You as he came. After another moment the tension bleed out of his muscles and he fell back onto the bed, a long shudder running through him.
You swallowed down Cha's orgasm until he felt the man go limp in his hands and flaccid in his mouth. Pulling away, he licked his lips and cleaned what few drops of semen he had missed before he sat back on his knees. With the other man pliant in his hands, he pulled Cha’s jeans and underwear off of his legs and tossed them on the floor. Settling back on the bed, he pulled his lover into his arms.
"I love you," he whispered against Cha's forehead while he ran his fingers through his matted hair.
Opening his eyes half way he looked up at You longingly. Bringing a hand up, he cupped You's cheek and kissed his lips, tasting himself on them. "I've missed you... I've missed you so much..."
He ran his hands up and down Cha's back, soothing away any post-ecstasy shudders. "I've missed you too," he breathed against the other's lips. He kissed him again.
Breathing out softly he rejoiced at the renewed kiss. This was the way things were supposed to be with them. There wasn't supposed to be uncertain feelings between them. Things were supposed to be natural and honest. "Make love to me You... for the rest of the night, long and slow so that we're connected in our bodies like we are our souls."
A bit drained and tired from another long bout of setting up for this weekend's shows, Cha walked through the unfamiliar hotel room, tired eyes looking for his lover who had left long before him.
You stood in the bathroom, medication in hand when he heard the door to their shared room open and close. He felt himself tense a bit before he could shake the feeling off. Tossing the pills back, he swallowed them down with help from the glass of water in his hand and after setting the plastic cup on the counter top he turned off the light and left the bathroom to find Cha wandering a bit aimlessly. "Looking for something?"
"Only for you." Cha gave his lover a tired smile as he took a few more steps forward and wrapped his arms around his lover's waist, and laid his weary head against his chest. Closing his eyes he absorbed the sound of his lover's heartbeat. "...Only for you..."
Sliding his arms around the smaller man, he stood there with him, breathing in the other's scent before shifting a bit to lift the man into his arms. Cradling his lover, he walked them both into the bedroom, gently laying Cha on the bed before crawling on top of the covers with him. "You've been working too hard..."
"No I've not... There is just so much to do... and I should have been more prepared, but I... just wasn't." He couldn't offer any more explanation then that, instead he just curled up against his lover and held onto him tightly. "I love you, you know...."
"I know," You replied, his lips brushing against the other's forehead. His hand rubbed Cha's back in comforting circles. "...but there's a reason you're co-producer, Cha. You're not the one in the pilot's seat."
"I know..." His voice was soft as he looked up at You, bringing his hand up to caress the violinist's cheek. "When was the last time...when was the last time we made love? Is it sad that it has been so long that I can't remember?"
You pressed a soft kiss to the other's forehead. "No..." he whispered. "It's not sad. You've had other things on your mind. We both have." His fingers slipped under Cha's shirt and drew spirals on the small of his back as he pressed his cheek into the man's hand. He missed being with him, these soft caresses.
"To tell the truth... it has been on my mind... I've been afraid... that because of things with your family... you'd stopped wanting me like that anymore." Cha felt horrible at having to confess this to You, but it was a thought that had entered his mind more then once, and while it broke his heart to doubt his lover, at the same time it was such a great relief to finally be able to voice his concerns.
"Oh, Cha..." You pulled the smaller man into his arms and held him tight. He wanted to say that his feelings for the other had never wavered.
But then he'd be lying.
Swallowing, he said slowly, "For a time...I did. I was so disappointed in myself for being someone who I later realized I wanted to be that...I withdrew. I tried to force myself to stop thinking of you as my lover. And....the more I did that, the deeper I fell."
He paused a moment, trying to make sense of his feelings. "But...once I realized what I wanted....once I realized who I wanted to be...I discovered that I didn't want to be alone. That I didn't want to be without you." His fingers ran through the other's dark hair. "You brought so much light into my life, so much happiness that I had never known before. And I realized that...to let such a beautiful thing slip through my fingers...I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I let you go."
You's words stung, and yet, it was something that he'd felt the entire time that his lover had been distant. Nodding, he nuzzled against his lover's neck. "But, we're okay now, ne?" Blinking the tears away from his eyes that were brought on by too many emotions and too little sleep, his voice was small as he continued. "I want us to be okay..."
Tilting Cha's face up to look at him, You smiled. "Yes, we're okay. I love you. So very much." He brought their lips together in a chaste kiss, a simple exploration of lips, as he held him tight.
Falling into the kiss, he ceased to think about anything other then how good it felt to be in his lover's arms like this once more. How he'd missed this comfort, knowing that he was loved and wanted. Returning the kiss, he slowly licked at You's lips, begging for entrance.
You's eyes fluttered as the other's tongue caressed his lips. Parting them, he let it slide into his mouth and he sucked lightly on the intruding muscle. Its partner ran along its length. His hands meanwhile moved down Cha's sides before running up the smaller man's body to cup his face between them. You rolled carefully onto his back, gently pulling the other man on top of him.
Whimpering softly through the kiss he rolled and settled his petite form on top of You's body. Pulling back he looked deeply into his lover's eyes and smiled, really smiled. Gently, he ran the pads of his fingers over the curves of You's cheekbones. "Aishiteru."
The younger man's hands fell to his lover's forearms, lightly caressing the muscles under the warm skin. "I love you too..." he breathed. Turning his head, he kissed the palm of Cha's right hand before his dark eyes blinked up and fixed the other with a trusting gaze...but a level of uncertainty lurked just below the surface.
Cha paused as he looked down at his lover; the look was not lost on him. "Is this okay You?... if its too fast...." Cha paused and looked understandingly at the man he loved. He'd do anything for the man he loved, even if that meant putting his own needs on hold again.
You shook his head and pulled the other man down to him, wrapping his arms around Cha's shoulders and neck. Burying his face in the other's neck, he whispered, "I want to be with you...to feel you..." He paused to pepper butterfly kisses to what he could reach of the other's neck, then, "...I want you in me tonight."
"You..." Blushing he looked horribly shy. He didn't fancy himself as a very good seme, and for You to be asking him now he wasn't sure if he could. "Are-are you sure? I don't know if I would be any good right now..."
The butterfly kisses continued up to the other's jaw line. He chuckled softly at uncertainty in the other's voice. "Well one of us is going to have to take the initiative, isn't he?" he murmured against Cha's ear. Sliding out from underneath the smaller man, he flipped them both over so their positions were switched. His lips never leaving the other's skin, he whispered, "Arms up, Love..."
The guitarist gasped at how quickly their positions were changed once more. Looking up at You, his cheeks were still tinted with pink, even as he raised his arms. "I'm sorry... I'm not feeling very strong or dominate at the moment..."
Sliding the t-shirt up and off of the other man, he settled himself more fully on top of him. You pressed his lips against Cha's, his tongue sliding out to taste the other's lower lip before quickly retreating into his own mouth. "I'll give you a rain check..." he whispered, kissing his lover once more before beginning his trek down the smaller body.
Shivering, he brought his hands up to rub against You's arms, holding his lover to him, the feel of You's skin under his fingertips made him so happy. Dark eyes watched You travel down his body, his stomach as tied up in knots as it was the first night they were together.
You's lips moved down Cha's body, lining up kisses one behind the other. Turning his head, he took one of the other's raised nipples into his mouth, sucking lightly while his thumb rolled over its partner. After a moment, he continued his trek down Cha's body, dipping his tongue into the man's navel while his hands busied themselves with the undoing of Cha's jeans.
"Ahhh..." Cha squirmed as he bit down on his lip to stifle his moan. It had been so horribly long since they'd done anything like this. He was already hot and dizzy from just the few small movements his lover was making against his body. You's name drifted from his lips as a whispered sigh, as he raised his hips so his lover could rid him of the denim around his waist.
The other man nuzzled his lover's smooth stomach as his fingers hooked into the waistband of both Cha's pants and underwear, sliding them off of his hips, letting bunch under his chest somewhere just above the older man's knees. His tongue flicked out to taste the soft curve of his hipbone before descending lower to take the head of the other's sex into his mouth.
And with that one deft movement Cha's head fell to the side and he cried out at the pleasure surrounding him. The cry filtering down to soft moans as his hips tried to move under You's weight to get closer to the warmth of his lover's mouth. The guitarist's hands scratched across the sheets until they could find purchase enough to grab and ball up the white satin in his fists
You spread his hands against Cha's hips, successfully keeping his thrusting to a minimum. He moaned softly around the flesh in his mouth before lowering his head to draw it deeper, his tongue sliding against the underside of the man's length.
"Y-Younnnnnnhhhhhh....." He already knew he wasn't going to last long; he ached for release already and could feel it building inside of him with every pass of You's hot mouth over his sex. One hand lifted from the sheets to tangle in You's head and pull him closer when he was no longer able to lift his hips.
The violinist bobbed his head, groaning again when he felt Cha's fingers tangle in his hair. He knew the other was close, and he would have smiled if his mouth wasn't otherwise occupied. He withdrew to the tip, his tongue slowly swirling over the head before drawing it all back into his mouth, feeling Cha's cock thrust against the back of his throat. He moaned.
That last downward motion from his lover was all it took to set Cha off. Arching up against the hands that pushed him back down into the soft bed, he thrust as much as he was allowed to as his voice rang out for You as he came. After another moment the tension bleed out of his muscles and he fell back onto the bed, a long shudder running through him.
You swallowed down Cha's orgasm until he felt the man go limp in his hands and flaccid in his mouth. Pulling away, he licked his lips and cleaned what few drops of semen he had missed before he sat back on his knees. With the other man pliant in his hands, he pulled Cha’s jeans and underwear off of his legs and tossed them on the floor. Settling back on the bed, he pulled his lover into his arms.
"I love you," he whispered against Cha's forehead while he ran his fingers through his matted hair.
Opening his eyes half way he looked up at You longingly. Bringing a hand up, he cupped You's cheek and kissed his lips, tasting himself on them. "I've missed you... I've missed you so much..."
He ran his hands up and down Cha's back, soothing away any post-ecstasy shudders. "I've missed you too," he breathed against the other's lips. He kissed him again.
Breathing out softly he rejoiced at the renewed kiss. This was the way things were supposed to be with them. There wasn't supposed to be uncertain feelings between them. Things were supposed to be natural and honest. "Make love to me You... for the rest of the night, long and slow so that we're connected in our bodies like we are our souls."