(Untitled)

[_kent]

Riches and wealth, they're not all they're cracked up to be. I mean, I got this sad tale in my email just this afternoon:

">From Doris Matins
Abidjan, Ivory Coast

My Dear one,

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I got your name and contact from the Ivoirian chamber of commerce. I prayed over it

Comments

[captain_squid]

Perhaps the young lass would be better served by sending you what assets she has, so that you can buy yourself a proper Allan Quatermain kit, fly to the Ivory Coast, rescue her from the dreaded Cocoa Assassins, and whisk her back to England as your fair ward.

Such adventure!

[word_geek]

The Dreaded Ivory Coast Cocoa Assassins are so going into the next 1930s-era RPG that I dream up.

I think she's being a bit forward, calling you "Dear" near the end there. Perhaps Ms. Matins has more on her mind than a simple financial transaction?

[_kent]

A cynical man might speculate that having called me "Dear One" in lieu of having my name or anything, her mail merge thinks my first name is Dear.

But no, this is clearly my invitation to adventure and romance!

[captain_squid]

So when she writes to me, the salutation will be Dear Four Hundred Thirteen Thousand Six Hundred Thirty-Eight?

Great. Now I feel about as special as a Doctor's Companion.