What do you call a man who steals pigs? A Hamburgler ( Read more... )

I'm a hand model now. I model hands. It's what I do. Or at least it's what I did this one time two days ago now. It was awesome ( Read more... )

Mr. Gigolo's Sing-A-Long Blog

Bad whores Bad whores
Bad whores They're bad

They're found across the nation
These harbingers of sin
If you forfeit your salvation
They'll show you some skin
Give them compensation
And they'll let you come within

But consumate their intercourse
And it's Bye-Bye Johnny
From Bad whores.

This is that poem that I wrote ( Read more... )

According to livejournal, it has been 27 weeks since my last post.  And that is too too too long ( Read more... )

What do you call a preacher who is addicted to felines ( Read more... )

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to open up my own belly and play with my belly organs. That's disgusting and probably smelly and probably painful, but sometimes I wonder ( Read more... )

They say if you need information, the kind that is really hush-hush, talk to the Librarian ( Read more... )

I feel shitty
So damn shitty
I feel shitty and pretty much fucked
It's a pity
Can't you tell
I'm so God damned shit out of luck

I feel awful
Fucking awful
It's unlawful how awful I feel
And so shitty
That everything seems unreal

.... That's what I get for eating 3/4 lbs of beef in under an hour... and some cheesey fries, but it was soooo worth

I would like to start a band: AIDS and the Lesions of Doom.

But I fear we would not be well received.