stampz0red

[zen_paradise]

Comments

TAKE THIS FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH

[angryrectum19]

a few things. overall, this was pretty good. i liked the humor and quick wit and it's a good idea for a short story. the only thing i didn't like was the ending. it's just the last line that she says is corny and i think that you could do better. if you're going for the cute thing then you have succeded. but if you're looking for something else, just tweek the end. but like i said, i liked it for the most part, and you can do with this what you like.

[dangerous_gift]

: )