i fucking love having friends who care for me
last night was perfect. for awhile everything was right. Just like that-plain and simple: it felt good. and i enjoy spending time with him.
[and sometimes I just need someone to say you'll be alright, whats on your mind?]
and i thought everything was right until this afternoon. when i realized how much my friends truley love me. oh well how much some of them do. because they invite me EVERYTIME they do something. i hate feeling left out. especially when it comes to this. I'm sorry for complaining, I just feel as though sometimes I don't do that enough. I try to be happy all the time, and I try not to get down, but it does happen. And I hate this feeling thats coming back.
december 4th, 2003: i dunno i just feel like me and one of my friends arent doing as much anymore and i miss her like crazy- i see her everyday but we havent done much together lately really- i want to talk to her about it, but how do you ask someone if theyre still youre best friend? oh well i still love her to death
except in this case, its not just one of my friends, its a number of them. and i haven't seen then everyday. sometimes I believe that I would hardly do anything with people unless I aksed them. except for matt and hope and bridget and that boy. and right now I just want to go have a good cry, and let it all out. because i really need someone to talk to, but i hate heaping all of my problems on bridg and hope, and some of my other friends I just cant talk to about this. okay, Im gonna go cry now.
"Alone and crying, crying, crying, crying
It’s hard to understand"