(Untitled)

[cordiechase]

"That was-wow", I said to Xander, still out of breath.

This was my first sexual experience and the best.

I turned to my side and caressed his face. "I love you Xander."

"Next time, I think it would be a good idea to use a condom. I mean, I'm on the pill, but we've got to be careful", I said seriously. "Besides, this body is not ready for

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[seerxander]

I felt horrible that I didn't use a condom, or for that matter pull out. I am supposed to be the one in control here, the one that watches out for the woman I love. How could I fail her? How do I think that I am good enough to love her when I can't even watch out for her?

"I am so sorry"

I said softly as I looked down a small tear falling.

"I love you so much, I don't want to do anything that would ever hurt you."

I wanted to be a good man, I wanted to be everything my father wasn't...I didn't know if I could, but I wanted to try.

[cordiechase]

"Xander, no it's okay. It isn't your fault", I tell him as I wipe his tear with my thumb.

I didn't want him to feel bad. Great going, Cordy!

"I love you too, baby. It takes two to tango, you know. Both of us are to blame."

I smiled at him and then kissed him.

"We were two horny virgins, we lost track, that's all."

[seerxander]

I chuckled lightly when she said the two horny virgins part.

"I love you so much Cordy."

I said softly as I kissed her again passionatly.

"I am yours always...and I am claiming you as mine..I mean not that you are something that can be claimed..Ok I need to shut up."

[cordiechase]

"I love you too"

He's so adorably cute! My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.

"Okay, Xander, what are you, tall, dark and broody now?", I joke.

I knew he had to get that Angel comment. Well, because he's a vampire.

There will be no claiming of me.

"You're silly. We don't need to claim, or whatever. We are in love. That's all that matters. If you ask me, that's a claim."

I kiss him again.

[seerxander]

Shocked by this I let her do what she wants still fighting the tears.

"Cordy"

I said softly

"Don't do this unless you are sure"

I said quickly

"But...There is something I want you to see."

Finally I decided what I am going to do.

[cordiechase]

"Xander, look at me in the eyes."

What was his deal, right now. I don't get it.

"I'm sure about this."

I let go of his arms and sat up still straddling him.

"What do you want me to see?"

[seerxander]

"Please just trust me"

I said softly as I moved out from under her.

"Please...lets get dressed..if things are not different after this than I will back off this subject ok."

[cordiechase]

"Fine", I say to him as I get up and get dressed.

I got dressed quickly.

"Xander, you're scaring me."

[cordiechase]

I grabbed him harder.

I moaned into his mouth as I pressed myself against him.

"Xander", I whispered.

"Maybe we should hurry up and go inside", I said laughing.

[seerxander]

"Mm I like it when you take control"

I said softly as I let her pull me inside and to her room.

"I'm sorry"

I said softly

"I shouldn't have taken you there"

[cordiechase]

"Xander, it's okay. Really."

I looked at him and kissed him.

"Just never take me there again. I might curse your parents out!"

I laughed.

"Now, where were we?"