Early morning reflections
This morning I was awakened by a call from Heather. We talked a bit, and then I woke up around 6:30am. I watched some anime to wake me up a bit, got out of bed, and then read my copy of Tao Teh Ching for a little while.
If you hope to expand,
you should first contract.
If you hope to be strong,
you should first weaken yourself.
If your ambition is to be exalted,
humilition will follow.
If you hold fast to something,
it will surely be taken away from you.
This is the operation of the subtle law of the universe.
This passage from #36 really struck at me. I sat and meditated on this for awhile. I finally became aware of how subconsciously I have been trying to over-exert myself on becoming successfully and not doing what I was trying to naturally do all along.
If you hope to expand,
you should first contract.
I live alone. I chose to live without roommate(s). I hardly go out. However, I have been expanding by stretching myself too thin. Perhaps I should focus more on one project at a time rather than do so much. Lao Tzu does also say elsewhere that one who focuses all his/her energies on one small task at a time and devotes a lot of time to this task will be naturally looked at as great. That's why people at jobs who do the little things well are often looked at with high regard by their supervisors. So yea, I'm thinking of doing less and becoming more devoted to one project at a time.
If you hope to be strong,
you should first weaken yourself.
This right here is my life story. This is why I moved. Being the farthest from everyone I love and closest to the most difficult of things has been the ultimate test of my will to succeed in what I wish to do.
If your ambition is to be exalted,
humilition will follow.
I believe this holds great truth. All of your favorite celebrities constantly are watched and emabarrassed over the smallest of things. Anyone exalted has also seen humility.
If you hold fast to something,
it will surely be taken away from you.
Throughout my life I have seen this. Perhaps this is why I have chosen apathy. Now don't get me wrong, apathy is no way to live life and I am working hard to get myself out of this. I was distraught because I was losing so much and did not know how to handle it, so within my frustration, I chose apathy. Rather than apathy, I will now practice self-control and not hold fast to anything or anyone.
I have decided to contact the author of my copy of Tao Teh Ching, Hua-Ching Ni. Apparently there's a chinese school of medicine in Santa Monica that he directs, and I would be honored to meet him. From his own writings and transliterations, he seems like a very amazing person. I'm also curious to see how someone's demeanor is who has been so very dedicated to Taoism. At the end of writing this, I have also realized why I have been breaking down:
The softest things cannot be snapped.
Guess it's time to stop becoming so hard headed. My stubborness has really become quite a hinderance to my natural growth.
Oh yea, and for now, my journal is going public.
If you hope to expand,
you should first contract.
If you hope to be strong,
you should first weaken yourself.
If your ambition is to be exalted,
humilition will follow.
If you hold fast to something,
it will surely be taken away from you.
This is the operation of the subtle law of the universe.
This passage from #36 really struck at me. I sat and meditated on this for awhile. I finally became aware of how subconsciously I have been trying to over-exert myself on becoming successfully and not doing what I was trying to naturally do all along.
If you hope to expand,
you should first contract.
I live alone. I chose to live without roommate(s). I hardly go out. However, I have been expanding by stretching myself too thin. Perhaps I should focus more on one project at a time rather than do so much. Lao Tzu does also say elsewhere that one who focuses all his/her energies on one small task at a time and devotes a lot of time to this task will be naturally looked at as great. That's why people at jobs who do the little things well are often looked at with high regard by their supervisors. So yea, I'm thinking of doing less and becoming more devoted to one project at a time.
If you hope to be strong,
you should first weaken yourself.
This right here is my life story. This is why I moved. Being the farthest from everyone I love and closest to the most difficult of things has been the ultimate test of my will to succeed in what I wish to do.
If your ambition is to be exalted,
humilition will follow.
I believe this holds great truth. All of your favorite celebrities constantly are watched and emabarrassed over the smallest of things. Anyone exalted has also seen humility.
If you hold fast to something,
it will surely be taken away from you.
Throughout my life I have seen this. Perhaps this is why I have chosen apathy. Now don't get me wrong, apathy is no way to live life and I am working hard to get myself out of this. I was distraught because I was losing so much and did not know how to handle it, so within my frustration, I chose apathy. Rather than apathy, I will now practice self-control and not hold fast to anything or anyone.
I have decided to contact the author of my copy of Tao Teh Ching, Hua-Ching Ni. Apparently there's a chinese school of medicine in Santa Monica that he directs, and I would be honored to meet him. From his own writings and transliterations, he seems like a very amazing person. I'm also curious to see how someone's demeanor is who has been so very dedicated to Taoism. At the end of writing this, I have also realized why I have been breaking down:
The softest things cannot be snapped.
Guess it's time to stop becoming so hard headed. My stubborness has really become quite a hinderance to my natural growth.
Oh yea, and for now, my journal is going public.