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This picture depicts the once plentiful and remarkable Alaskan animal, the tofu caribou. Unfortunately for the future of this magnificent beast, invaders to Alaska from across the Pacific Ocean took an immense liking to the tofu caribou, and, reassuring themselves that the animal could be made extremely easily with soybeans, proceeded to wipe out the entire species. The brave attempts of the native Alaskans to protect their homeland and fellow brethren, the tofu caribou, from the heartless invaders were fruitless, and the species quickly became extinct. In order that their Asian patrons would not be disappointed in them and exile the invaders, they proceeded to create a poor substitute out of plant matter in the guise of tofu caribou. This they named tofu for short, and the "caribou" of the original animal has been all but forgotten in the modern conception of the caribou. Needless to say, tofu caribou can not be replicated with soybeans, hence our poor and inadequate modern substitute.
It is conjectured by several eminent scientists, including vegan Dr. N.O.Meatandairy, that a few young offspring of the tofu caribou may have remained alive in a little known and infrequently inhabited portion of northern alaska, where, in fear of murder, they evolved into the now present, yet rare, form of tempe caribou. In a common Alaskan folk tale, the offspring Dee and Andy of the beautiful tofu caribou Meetless lived in a shallow cave in a secluded forest, where they were nurtured by a young but caring pair of siblings, Heidi and Elke. Numerous other stories of the sort have long since influenced the culture of modern Alaska, particularly that of the native Alaskans, who still feel the loss of the tofu caribou in their lives.
By protecting and living in peace with the endangered modern tempe caribou, we can hope in this day and age to prevent another genocide of the caribou genus, and foster the growth of a new species. Tempe caribou can be adopted at 1-800-SAVE-TEMPE, where your meager contribution of $80 or more may help protect a young tempe caribou from murder and poachers. Call now, and prevent an innocent death!
1 <3 tempe caribou
(t-shirts and bumper stickers also available)