I have not done this in a long time. I had even forgotten my username combination and password. Sad. It's the day grants go through so I be rollin in dough. hahaha.

Sarah's cousin died and she is at home. My dad died over break. Not much else exciting going on in life. I quit my job today. That was interesting. I've never walked out on a place

I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Tony. My mom wants me to drop out of school my senior year because of things he told her about me. He is the one that wanted to break up. He's the one that didn't want to be part of my life anymore yet he's the one that keeps fucking with my life. Luckily because of the information he gave my mother I was forced ( Read more... )

I'm not ok.

Well, there's a lot that has happened. It all seems rather surreal. I tried to kill myself which went as planned until I failed. I got to spend about a week in the hospital 'recuperating' whatever that means. I guess that's that and there's not much to say about it. I feel a lot better, but everyone including my family and friends continue to treat ( Read more... )

Well, I got a voicemail from my mother this morning saying she is diagnosing me with seasonal depression. I think she's right. Every spring just seems terrible and I always do a lot of things I regret ( Read more... )

I finally did it. If he doesn't want the relationship he can't have the companionship, friendship or sexual relationship.

I hope this wasn't a huge mistake. he is my best friend.

I get annoyed by everyone wanted a definition of what's going on. Especially my mother. I feel like I can do whatever makes me happy. Even if that doesn't include a perfect form of dating ( Read more... )

What a strange time. I feel like everyone around us is trying to just say mean things about the other to somehow make us feel good about breaking up. I don't like hearing negative things about Tony. I just want to yell at people that when we say we're best friends we mean it. It's been three years, I trust him more than any of my other friends ( Read more... )

Everything has really sucked for a while. I'm already starting to feel better. Today I left Tony's and made and actually got an appointment to talk to someone about my panic attacks and how depressed I've been feeling. I'm really glad I went. I'm starting on medication for my panic attacks as well as depression. They also gave me instant uppers to ( Read more... )

I really don't know what to do with myself. I hate that I wake up at like seven. I'm tired. I feel tired. Why can't I sleep?! I also hate he fact that twice now I've woken up and thought I was at Tonys. I guess sleeping there solid for four months will do that to a person ( Read more... )