Comments | _malkav_: (без темы)

_malkav_

(Untitled)

Jan 17, 2011 16:28

I was having a chat with a girl at work that I thought I'd made friends with, was pretty normal and stuff. I teased her about something, and she insulted me in return, in a pretty bad way, and thats it. It was pretty much a convo of me saying "haha, you suck, which is ironic" and her saying "fuck off and die". I sent her an email later saying sorry ( Read more... )

Comments 7

psyanide January 17 2011, 05:50:35 UTC

I went to an all-girls high school and I, too, believe that friends ought to be able to give each other shit and and call each other names and still be friends, knowing that they don't mean it seriously or literally. (of course, some topics are out of bounds) That's part of what makes it so fun to hang out with and talk to each other.

But I experienced something similar with a then-friend in high school. Toward Year 12 she started growing apart from our little group and when the falling out finally happened, her argument against me was that she didn't like me insulting everything about her. Funny, she didn't seem to mind it during the time we were friends, and all of my other friends knew that I wasn't being serious ( ... )

psyanide January 17 2011, 05:56:02 UTC

On second thought, girls do tend to be a lot more touchy than guys. So glad that I'm the only girl in my department at work and get to talk shit with the guys! Women just should not be allowed to work in groups LOL imagine how terrible it must be when it's Bitching Season.

_malkav_ January 19 2011, 05:10:13 UTC

There's a few things I specifically avoid with my friends as I'm not sure how they would take certain things, but aside from that, I think maybe I can lay it on too thick sometimes, and that's maybe what I did in this instance, but I'm not sure.

Sadly, when you piss someone off, they won't tell you exactly what you've done to promote such a reaction. I can't learn like that :(

dvahlish January 17 2011, 08:13:51 UTC

Girls are a little more sensitive than guys generally...but I also think that depends on the girl...
I know it takes a hell of a lot to offend me, but the majority of my friends are male so maybe Im just used to that?

However, if you made the effort to apologise and she hasnt responded, then thats just plain rude on her behalf.... she should have at least acknowledged that.

Honestly Adam, if shes going to take offence over a friendly joke and then not make any further effort after a sincere apology, then I just dont think shes worth your friendship.

Im sure that your friends would agree that your a good guy and that no malice is intended in your teasing.

And yeh...gym does wonders for the self esteem. You feel great and look even better :) good stuff!

_malkav_ January 19 2011, 04:57:42 UTC

I can't help that maybe I should've apologised in person, or that maybe if I just kept my mouth shut, things would still be okay.

Part of me acknowledges friends forgive each other, amongst other things, but part of me blames myself for being shit, and assuming the whole thing is on me.

I dunno, I can often take it too far I think. I kinda did again yesterday, but it was with a guy, and he is a 4channer, so maybe he can handle jokes better (it was funny and I couldn't bring myself not to say it due to how funny it was).

unikorn January 19 2011, 00:41:45 UTC

Teasing people will very much offend them if you say something that they are insecure about. Whether they are close friends or not, if you hit a weak spot then they are gonna get upset.

As Tracy said, girls are more sensitive and more likely to react negatively to something they don't find funny. You did the right thing by apologizing... but perhaps in the future, treat girls with a bit more delicacy. =)

Subjects that are especially taboo with girls are implying that she's fat/unattractive or a slut. So yeah, saying "you suck" with a sexual undertone was definitely a no no!

Even if a girl isn't outright the "ladylike" type, chances are she'll still be impressed if you treat her like a lady. Girls need to be complimented, their ego's placated.

Now, with this secret knowledge, go forth and charm those ladies :P

_malkav_ January 19 2011, 04:50:41 UTC

Well I didn't say "you suck", specifically I said "It's funny that your mum is a doctor and you don't know about the Medicare Levy :P". It prolly wasn't just that though, there were prolly other things contributing as well. I don't do sexual innuendo outside of my close friends, it's just awkward (someone did it to me once and that was just weird, I have no idea how to respond ( ... )