Comments | _marriedlife_: Need Advice and Opinions...

love_valerie in _marriedlife_

Need Advice and Opinions...

Jun 28, 2007 10:12

My husband and I are in one of those situations where I think I'm right, he thinks he's right. So we realllllly need some unbiased advice/opinions here.

First, a little back story. My husband and I have been married for a little over 7 months now. We've been friends since the 6th grade and dated off and on throughout high school. We have been ( Read more... )

Comments 56

bestdaywelived June 28 2007, 15:28:17 UTC

It's not wrong of you at all. I don't think they should spend so much time talking. It's kind of .... suspicious to me. Even the best intentioned couples can get entangled in emotional affairs.

asimplelife June 28 2007, 15:31:51 UTC

The way I see it is that he is basically saying that text messaging this woman is more of a priority than your feelings. Especially given that it is only a certain period of the day, I think he should suck it up and just stop it.

Making excuses about what is right vs. what is wrong is totally not the issue. The issue is: is text messaging this woman worth the rift it is causing in your relationship?

Oh, and for the record, the whole moral argument it ISN'T the same thing. Living together is what I would see as a "victimless crime" (for lack of a better term) while the texting isn't - it's hurting your feelings.

dragonrider7 June 28 2007, 15:33:08 UTC

Well, if it really bothers you, you should be able to tell him that and have him respect it. I was going to say more but now I can't remember what. But, you know, if it's bothering you, he should understand. Try to find a compromise.

urbunnie June 28 2007, 15:33:46 UTC

You aren't wrong at all. I'd have a major problem with his comparing you living together-- something to further your relationship-- to his texting someone else-- something that could drive your relationship apart. He should not be texting her at home if it bothers you. It's not even that you are asking him to stop talking to her. You are being totally reasonable just asking that he cut the texting while he's with you.

If my husband made a comparison like that, I think I'd be worried. Of course, my husband never thought us living together was immoral.

couchtiger June 28 2007, 15:33:53 UTC

First of all, I don't think those two situations compare. If he believes it was morally wrong for you guys to live together beforehand, that is no longer applicable because now you're married and he is not continuing to do the morally wrong thing. If texting another girl is morally wrong, unlike you guys living together there will never be a way to make it morally right, it will always be a wrong thing for that has no means to a right end. Does that make sense? I feel like it sounds convoluted and confusing ( ... )