Another money question..

[penguinsane]

This is related to the last money question, but a bit different, so I thought to make a post about it

Comments

[mrs_dragon]

Currently, I am the only one working. My husband is still looking for work after we relocated for my job in April. I would never consider the money I make to be "my" money. It's our money, end of story. I would expect it to be the same way if he were the only one working. When he buys me gifts, he is putting in the time and effort to pick out something that I would like, purchase it, wrap it, etc. That's what matters. It never even crosses my mind that it's "my" money being spent on it, because that just isn't how I see it. : )

[fadedsecrets]

I stay at home, he makes 100% of the money. Basically, it's ours, and I use it for gifts (I handle the budget anyway, and let him know what I've budgeted for gifts overall - he doesn't know or care how much per person). I have a certain amount that I use to budget each month, but he makes more than I budget with because we are trying hard to save as much money as possible. So anything outside of what I budget, he uses whatever he wants from "savings" to buy gifts for me.

This year, I also had a little money of "my own" from posting ads on my blog - I had about $100 left, so I transferred that and used it for his gift. I wouldn't have had to, but it felt good to contribute "my own money" for it.

[xreesex]

I make about twice as much as much as my husband does. Money is mostly "ours", however I'll admit to being resentful when "MY" money is being used for things I don't think are a good use (ciggerettes etc). However, he works more around the holiday so that he can afford gifts for people.

I don't know. For me it makes no sense when there is only one person working, and the other person spends the money as if it's their own (other than for things like groceries, rent, mortgage, bills, etc). It seems odd to me that if only one person is working, they are basiclly buying their own gifts.

[oduschone]

I don't want to start a whole big debate about this, but just because I don't hold a traditional "job" doesn't mean I don't work. I write out all the bills, I do all the cleaning, I do the laundry. I make all the meals; I pack lunches, brew coffee, shovel snow, clean off his car and start it on the mornings it snows. I take out the trash, change sheets, etc.etc. I have figured out how to feed a family of 5 on a budget of $60/week. And I fix real meals with sides and dessert and everything. And I care for our three children at home, saving us the expense of daycare for the younger two and aftercare for the oldest. I do all of our charity commitments as well. Doing all of these things frees up my husband to concentrate more fully on his job... and he's been promoted 4 times in 3 years. He and I both feel that what I do here ("not working", as you say) has allowed him to advance and I am helping him earn the extra money

[xreesex]

Look, I'm not debating that staying home with kids is a job. I have a five year old, and my husband stays with him during the day while I work. I know how much work goes into taking care of a household.

IN MY OPINION however, I don't really understand how you're buying your husband a gift when it's his money being spent to do so. It just seems an odd concept to me. When I have been the only one working (and there was a long period of time where that was so), I would have been upset if my husband had taken money out of the account to do that.

[oduschone]

Well, *our* opinion (mine and my husband's) is that I DO earn money. I help him earn the money that is "his" even if my name is not on the paycheck, thus making it "ours".

Also, I remember growing up that my parents would give me money (the same as I do to my children now) to buy gifts for certain people. It is no less a gift from them because the money came from someone else. It is the thought and the meaning behind the gift, IMO.

[kanders]

When it's his money, it's our money. When it's my money, it's my money.

I make half of what my husband does. I'm a PhD student and I work part-time.

We have joint accounts. Every year we have been married, we have purchased a large gift that we both want for Christmas. Last year we got ourselves a very nice digital camera. This year we got a LCD TV. Next year we are moving away from electronics; I'm hoping for some nice furniture. We save money this way, and we're both happy.

However, when we do purchase separate gifts, we just buy them relative to our budget. This Christmas, he can't spend more than $350 on his entire family, and I can't spend more than $400 on my entire family. I have a higher budget for my family because my family is less well off.

If he were the only one working, I'd feel like he was kind of buying his own gift unless I made the gift.

[fizzyg23]

I currently make most of the money coming in, although DH's new job is adding more to that total. It's still all our money and it's pooled together for both of us to spend.