One month later...

Jan 23, 2008 08:50

I'm no longer waiting for an e-mail ( Read more... )

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Comments 20

good sir clayforall January 24 2008, 02:34:04 UTC
I can't find words that have not already been said... you are loved, we are here for you, don't stay to yourself... in the end, it is up to you to make the choice... it IS your choice... I have sympathy for you, but I also know too well that it is easier to stay to your self and wallow deeper into that darkness that you find yourself in.... it takes effort and strength to pull out and change direction... change focus... and note that the effort is easier with the presence of positive friends... I know you have strength, now you just need to make the choice to make the effort... (I don't intend to sound cold... only to give a good friend good advice)...

I missed you that day and am sorry it didn't work out... but there is always another day good sir... that's the great thing about being alive... the next day still has opportunity and mystery (if you let it)

goodnight good sir

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brickhousewench January 24 2008, 13:32:58 UTC
*Hugs*

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_midnight_wolf_ January 24 2008, 15:03:18 UTC
I love you all...thank you for responding...I've been really lost this past month...I just wish I knew what I did...or didn't do...but I know that I'll never know...and that makes it hurt so much more...so much for open honesty...

...as for the perverbial 'tomorrow,' all I see is loneliness and pain...I guess my wounds are fresher then I thought...

...all I see when I see myself are all of my life's failures compounded by my sense of loss and pain of loneliness...

...how emo of me...sorry to waste everyone's time with my pathetic rantings.

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chris_warrior January 24 2008, 15:35:09 UTC
I just wish I knew what I did...

but hon... that's my point: this actually doesn't sound like Something You Did. it so sounds like her problem.

all I see when I see myself are all of my life's failures compounded by my sense of loss and pain of loneliness...

i wish you could see what *we* see. :) the butterfly at the Crystal Door, the swordsman, the actor. though romantic love is important, there's so much more to a person. and you have so many people who love you.

sorry to waste everyone's time with my pathetic rantings.

silly goose. it's no waste. i've just been there, trying to figure out for months why my husband wouldn't just talk to me, why he hid everything about himelf from his family, his friends, and his spouse. why he lied, over and over. and beating myself up for not knowing.

the fact is, sometimes it's Not You. *HUGE HUG*

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brickhousewench January 25 2008, 02:44:43 UTC
I just wish I knew what I did...

It may not have been anything to do with you at all. Try not to let yourself dwell on depressing thoughts.

From personal experience, I can tell you that winter is the wrong season of the year to allow yourself to wallow in a down mood. The lack of sunlight just makes the depression much worse. Please, please try to take care of yourself, spend time with friends and family, and get enough exercise to keep your endorphins up.

*HUGS*

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eviltophat January 24 2008, 21:13:15 UTC
Dude, I'm so sorry to hear about things having gone so south. If it makes you feel any better, you are in my thoughts and I miss you. ALSO. I have lost your number (my phone died in a pool of Rockstar). You should totally call me/comment your number/something else.

Ryan

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_midnight_wolf_ January 24 2008, 22:26:36 UTC
I was actually thinking earlier...'ryan could always cheer me up when I was feeling bad' I miss you. 225-1678

call me sometime.

I miss you.

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