Comments | _no_white_flag_: Everyone comes down on me when I struggle with my own defense

wickedbuff in _no_white_flag_

Everyone comes down on me when I struggle with my own defense

May 18, 2005 01:28

I was doing exactly what I said I wouldn't do, falling back into that old pattern with him. I couldn't help it, whenever Angel got hurt logic just flew straight out the window. Okay, whenever Angel did anything my logic tended to be entirely too absent. The only way I'd ever solved that problem was when we were apart from eachother, when I didn't ( Read more... )

Comments 23

artofbrooding May 31 2005, 20:41:54 UTC

I watched her for what seemed like an eternity; her mind was focused on anything but where she was and what she was doing. Absently eating yogurt wasn't what would inspire such a lengthy looking internal debate. What she was debating about would probably haunt me for years to come, so I was content with just watching her ( ... )

wickedbuff June 1 2005, 20:05:47 UTC

Okay....since when did I become invisible Buffy? He was just watching me through dark eyes as he stood in the doorway, and after a few minutes I started to feel like one of those weird grasshopper like things we had to disect in tenth grade Biology. Like one of those bugs only under the intense scrutiny of a magnifying glass in the sun, the harsh rays slowly melting and peeling away every protective layer. Thinking about bugs was bringing back much unneeded Xander and preying mantis lady memories.

My eyes followed him carefully as he began going about getting himself some...breakfast? Blood in a mug, which up until now I'd been practically spoon feeding him while he was recovering from whatever had happened in town. It almost made me feel...what? Good? Glad? I couldn't quite place it but it was something. Because I knew Angel wasn't like Spike, and didn't particularly like the idea of having people watch him eat. The fact that he didn't seem to mind having his breakfast in front of me made me...something ( ... )

artofbrooding June 1 2005, 20:24:36 UTC

Obviously I'd taken the wrong tactic, maybe it was years with little patience given to those around me. Maybe it was the years of pain and regret that caused the imediate disfunction in our barely there conversation. Who knew, I just didn't like it. What the hell can I do about it now.

"I didn't know you'd been awake long enough for awkwardness."

I sighed unneccessarily. This is not how I wanted this to happen, I wish I could blame it on the fuzz clouding my brain, but it had pretty much dissapaited. Buffy's prescence much to the dismay of most people didn't actually cloud my view, only cleared it up too intensely to ignore exactly what I was seeing.

I could tell by the look in her eyes she was already regretting being here, if not for being near me then what I wasn't sure.

"What did you want to talk about?"I looked at her carefully, that certainly was a good question. The past few weeks had been a blur. After I left Rome I went about my charade with punishing fevor. I'd been close to causing my friends to stake me; which of ( ... )

wickedbuff June 3 2005, 00:52:02 UTC

Anything besides death, pain and destruction? Gladly. The problem was those three topics seemed to follow me around wherever I went like a scarlet letter, complete with social pariah status. Before I had too long to contemplate the idea of discussing something other then the aforementioned topics he hit me with what he clearly really wanted to talk about. When was I going back to Rome? My eyes widened a little bit and I had to choke back a remark as he quickly back-tracked ( ... )

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artofbrooding June 21 2005, 00:52:37 UTC

I couldn't help but smirk at her admission, comfy huh? That'll never do, she was going to be far more than comfy if I had anything to say about it. I knew this was dangerous, the contact, the intamcy, but I didn't care. I should, she was the only person in the world that could cause me to say 'fuck my soul'. It wasn't going to come to that; I wouldn't let it. Letting it come to that would be giving up the possibility of more than one moment, one experience with her. And having her was worth it all, but having her forever far out weighed the hormones ( ... )

wickedbuff June 22 2005, 00:02:33 UTC

His tongue trailed over the angry puppy bites and a moan left my throat unconsciously. Something about those marks on my throat that only further guaranteed that I belonged to him forever and vice versa. There was nothing that could stop this, nothing ever had. The two of us had been doing nothing but tormenting ourselves for the past few years. It just amazed me that he suddenly had this change of heart. But honestly? I wasn't going to dwell on it at the very moment when he was doing that thing with his hands and his tongue...and yeah, not focusing on what was past ( ... )

artofbrooding June 26 2005, 05:11:56 UTC

She was a picture of perfection, I just took a second to look over her body. God, she was better than I remembered, fuller and smaller all at the same time. I ran my hand down the column of her throat while the other kneed her thigh. My hand trailed down between the valley of her breasts, down further over her taunt stomach skimming lightly over the nest of curls between her thighs ( ... )

wickedbuff July 3 2005, 22:56:25 UTC

Everything was moving so quickly and it'd been so long since Angel's cold touch had parted my thighs that I had a hard time grappling with it. A hard time until his cool tongue pressed into my sweetest spot illiciting a loud low groan from my throat. One I hadn't heard in a very long time. Oh sure, I'd had lots of sex since Angel. Probably too much sex, I was all with the sex Buffy and okay that just sounded bad. But having Angel touch me again it just...it brought everything around full circle. That loss of control I used to feel whenever he touched me ( ... )

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