Snapebabble

Aug 31, 2005 20:35

I've written a little Snapebabble, that means 200 words on my beloved Potion Master. Considering how bad I am at writting this kind of short stories, I'm happily surprised. Even more because... well, I wrote exactly the required two hundred words in the first try! :9

Title: Goodbye
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Not betaed. Feel free to point me any ( Read more... )

fic, hp, personal

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Comments 13

aranluc August 31 2005, 12:12:38 UTC
Me gusta lo de Fawkes en su hombro, un buen punto.

Je, yo tambien me he cortado el pelo, va Gato y me dice: "pareces Chenoa". Si todavía le sigo queriendo después de eso, es que ya no tiene remedio la cosa. En finch... (ya plantaré foticos en mi journal)

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_noesumeragi_ August 31 2005, 14:48:57 UTC
eso de que te llamen chenoa es grave... XD (a mi me han llamado heidi... ·___·)

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matyas_adina August 31 2005, 12:46:57 UTC
It is strange, how I needed to blink back tears after this, although it was just 200 words. This was amazing, really.

About the other thing: short hair rulez:D I have it too:P

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sylvadin August 31 2005, 14:25:18 UTC
That's not a babble - that's a sniffle! (as in 'time to get out the tissues' type of story)

Well done! If only Fawkes could have testified to the Wizengamot on Severus' behalf. Maybe then he would not have had to live his long life in lonely hiding...

Noe, will I embarass you if I point out one small typo? In the line 'free to came back here...' I think that 'came' should be 'come'.

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_noesumeragi_ August 31 2005, 15:03:49 UTC
a sniffle! that is funny, even if this is sad.... ^^U

And yes, pity Fakwes cannot talk and testify on Severus' aid. It's sad, because you got my meaning... A ridiculously long life, a lonely life, along Fawkes, who flied to him after Albus' death... his only friend for years and years... without be able to come back and say goodbye Albus.

...

*snifff*

And thanks for the typo, It's already corrected. :)

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sesptwd August 31 2005, 15:05:19 UTC
You're so sweet to drabble for me. Sooner or later, I'll get you to draw something for me. wink wink

I want to see the hair!!! Picture please!!

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_noesumeragi_ September 1 2005, 08:02:30 UTC
ask and you will receive! ;D

And no! sorry, no pictures of me. I hate it, I always look horrible. And Harry-ish haircur is a very good descrption, really...

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himilzungal August 31 2005, 17:05:01 UTC
That was so sad...and well, I can see Severus and Fawkes like that, standing there and saying Good Bye at last.

I'm so curious about your new hair cut. But really I'm pretty sure you can't shock me. I had three times a bald head... and when I say bald I mean there were maximum three millimeter hair on my head *g*. And the last time I shaved (!!! yes, you know this electric razor...I own one) my head was in February (2004)... let just say since then I have a selection of hats and caps :D

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himilzungal August 31 2005, 17:22:03 UTC
Hmmm...I think I found two mistakes:
No tomb should look this new, not when everything else has faded with the time

I think it has to be just faded with time because you use "time" here uncountable.

And and another red feather fells and flies.
I think it has to be "falls" (3. person singular present) instead of fells or "fell and flew" (past tense).

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_noesumeragi_ September 1 2005, 08:25:49 UTC
Thanks for pointing me those two! I'm not 100% sure about the first one, that is the kind of details about English that I fear I'll never get a grip of, but the second is completely accurate. Both corrected! <3

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_noesumeragi_ September 1 2005, 08:23:50 UTC
yes, I just love the idea that Albus left Fawkes to Severus... It's so sad. I'm still sad about Albus' death. :(

And you shaved! wow, you are gryffindor brave, hon... Me not so much, Harry-ish haircut is good description. It's a bit messy, with a little fringe towards the left, and shorter and upright in the rear. My hair is now black with some honey locks, from a previous experiment who was supposed to get my hair red. More or less... U
But I also have a hat! I think I'm going to use it every day...

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