is it possible to hate one's own mind?

[_pick_me_]

The world around is moving

Yet I am standing still

Watching everything spin

All the people and the places

I’m longing to jump on

To be one of the moving faces

My feet are stuck here

Even when I say to move

Everyone else seems to be on

Going round and round and round

Smiling, laughing, spinning

While I’m here on the ground

I can smile and laugh

Comments

[flippin_the_sea]

el.

this brought tears to my eyes
remembering when you read it in english class
and the first time you showed it to me.

you can always hop on my wild ride.
i'll help you climb on, i promise.
and i won't let you fall.

i love you to death, ellen bo bellen.

<3

[_pick_me_]

gah! now youre making me cry.
i miss kairos.
i miss encounter.
i miss the way things used to be.
i miss being part of it all.

i love you too han!

[flippin_the_sea]

don't worry.
kairos is coming up fast enough.
i'm thinking of leading encounter next year. wanna join me?
make how things are now even better than what you miss. you have the power.

i, hannah, invite you, ellen, to join me.
please accept. no rsvp necessary.
because i know you love me and since you "miss being a part of it all," you'll want to accept. besides, you have to accept. who wouldn't want to join me on, haha, wait for it...... "ms hannah's wild ride"... get it? get it? (mr toad's wild ride).... =]

ok, so, now that you are cordially invited.. please join me. =]

[_pick_me_]

perhaps i shall....
*ponder*

damnit. im not sleeping tonight.

[olives_at_3_am]

dear ellen,

please refrain from being a female version of me when i was 17. thanks. i'm sure if you take a real good look around you'll see things are on the rise.

ps, could you bug your brother for me? apparently he's too cool to talk to me any more

[_pick_me_]

perhaps i like being a female version of you when you were 17. imagine that.

p.s. i will bug him for you dont worry, but hes been very caught up in his new frat. (i cannot believe he actually joined a frat.)

[olives_at_3_am]

Michael joined a frat?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

I'm calling him right now. Thanks

PS, if you enjoy being the female me when i was 17, than you're definitly not the female version of me when i was 17. if that makes sense. meh

el!!

[anonymous]

aww ellen. i love u. and i loved when u read this during english class. i could totally relate. (TOTALLY) and it was niice to know that i wasn't alone. it put into words my emotions in a way that i never would've been able to. (Thanks for that. and your poem is OFTEN a story of my life. so TRUST i understand.

hopefully you are feeling better now.
if ever need to talk, i'm here to listen.
mmk on the brighter side, i hope you are enjoying your summer!!
and we NEED to hang out this summer! yeah? ok. done deal.

love.ya.
-miA

[addicted_2_sp]

ellen i love you. you are wonderful. and i know you posted this a long time ago, but i thought i would tell you that you are amazing and im pretty sure you arent feeling too much like this onw, but if you are, i am always here to help. i know exactly what you are describing in this poem, you are amazing at writing. i love you ♥