(no subject)
A couple of people have seen that title before but its not the same person as before.
Jeff: wasn't by my computer
xSweet Limex: oooh
xSweet Limex: You wouldn't be the first guy avoid me completely in the last week
xSweet Limex: anyways
xSweet Limex: I left annoying comments on your pictures
Jeff: i noticed
Jeff: yeah i read your blog sounds like you have all the guys attention righ tnow
xSweet Limex: actually I dont. I thought I had some but appearantly not. Like one guy just totally fucking surprised me
Jeff: oh
xSweet Limex: And by looking at your myspace I could say the same about you
xSweet Limex: (not rude)
xSweet Limex: anyways. The guys I talked about are the only guys I know about as of yet
Jeff: oh
xSweet Limex: do you like to read my blogs?
xSweet Limex: Theres a new one
xSweet Limex: ok... now theres two
xSweet Limex: I am not wearing any underwear
xSweet Limex: sorry meant that for someone else
Jeff: who? would that be?
xSweet Limex: Crystal my perverted kinky les friend
xSweet Limex: Crystal: what a coincidence neither am I
xSweet Limex: actually shes not les.. shes more like me.. straight with les tendencies
Jeff: oh
xSweet Limex: did you go and read my blog?
Jeff: im reading
xSweet Limex: oh I see
Jeff: so you were gunna let that guy be your valentine?
xSweet Limex: No I was going to hang out with him on valentines and make him make me a pb and J
Jeff: sounds to me by your blogs like your just desperate for guys attention
xSweet Limex: No. I am desperate for a guys attention, and I am trying to get over that guy so when I am alone I dont hurt. Not your fault I understand. And fraser... he was my bestfriend for 2 years and has been through some shit with me, and all of a sudden doesn't want to talk to me. So finally I get a hold of him and he promises me an explanation. I like an explanation for why people stop talking to me
xSweet Limex: wouldn't you
Jeff: yeah
xSweet Limex: And since I dont talk to anyone after I come home from school, I have to write it somewhere.
Jeff: true
xSweet Limex: And if you have been reading my blogs and have been paying attention.. these guys like me. The only guy I want is you.
Jeff: also from reading your blogs though, you dont accept my reasons that i give you...
Jeff: why is this?
Jeff: you dont consider them viable reasons even though they are the truth
xSweet Limex: This is going to get ugly I can tell. How am I too young for you Jeff?
xSweet Limex: the whole 17/18 thing? We have already had sex
Jeff: ok even though you are "only" a 1 1/2 younger than me it makes a big difference as far as maturity wise, i can honestly say that i have grown up in the past year
Jeff: and this may hurt you....
Jeff: but i just became more and more aware of your immaturity
xSweet Limex: Because I act like a child all the time. I act like that because .... I dont know.. because I want to
Jeff: i know i have my immature moment too...ugh i hate trying to explain stuff like this because i can't ever find the right words
xSweet Limex: And have you become more and more aware of my immaturity in the past couple of weeks
Jeff: look, im ending this conversation here, you wanted a reason, a real reason, i gave it to you....take it or leave it dont debate it, you have no reason to i have never lied to you
xSweet Limex: Just lsiten to this.
Jeff: im waiting
xSweet Limex: Being from a history of mentally fucked up people and my mom and just how I think..... I have my emotional moments, my severe ups and my severe downs. How I have acted in the last couple of weeks is me being hurt angry and emotional where I have only been taught by my mom one way how to deal with. Get mad first and then act all cuddly later so they forgive you. Whatever Susan sent to you last night, I only had knowledge that she said she was going to do something (people never do the shit they say they are going to do) and read what she had said after she sent it. My immaturity is percieved on this as immaturity because its a messenger, and you did what you did on the phone and I havent seen you since. So no way of showing you how I feel with facial expression and tone of voice . So I can see how you would see it as that. And me trying to talk to you all the time and you not answering me back irratates me. I understand that you arent always at your computer, but also with the messenger thing, I dont know if you are there or not.
xSweet Limex: So my immaturity can by all means be seen that way, but its more frustration and hurt that I try to convey whenever I have a slight chance and I come out as complete bitch.
xSweet Limex: what is your response to that?
Jeff: no response
Jeff: really
Jeff: you told me all that stuff and it still doesn't really change my reasons
xSweet Limex: I know it doesn't change your reasons. I am explaining myself to you.
xSweet Limex: I just hope that you realize that by the time that I am 18 I probably will be mature, but I probably wont be staying in the county or even in the state. You might not even be interested in me.
Jeff: this isn't something you can rush...
xSweet Limex: I am not rushing anything
Jeff: i told you, you dont have to wait
Jeff: i just ask for the oppurtunity to date you later
Jeff: but if you want, move out of state and or country
xSweet Limex: Date me later, maybe. I am just letting you know... that I am not staying here for anybody. Once I graduate highschool I am going to stay with My uncle and aunt in L.A. or my aunt and my uncle in Colorado. And I wont have a long distance relationship
Jeff: then whats the point of even dating now?
Jeff: your just gunna graduate and move
xSweet Limex: Thats why I wasn't going to tell you what I want to do
Jeff: oh thanks
xSweet Limex: I knew you were going to say just that
Jeff: so keep me in the dark about it until you do move
Jeff: thats fan fucking tastic
Jeff: if you want to so fucking badly just move
xSweet Limex: If you were really serious about me. And there was a sort of underlying promise of a longer relationship once I got out of highschool I would go to COD
*** "Jeff" signed off at Fri Feb 10 23:31:02 2006.
I cant swallow right now I am that upset. I actually had to call him to tell him the last part. Ugh.. A day in the life of me that last couple of weeks.
The night before he broke up with me.
