Three years ago.
Edit: This was written to Danielle but has been posted on my LJ for all of you to read and reply back on. It's not anything bad about her or against her just a reflection on my life. A mini-biography for those who don't know much about me and want to learn.
Three years ago, as you know, things were awkward in my life. At this time I was still pretty much the young asshole boy that you fell in love with. I was dating Amber, as you know, and you were that adventure I was seeking. I'm sure you know what seeking adventure is all about. No matter how amazing, how perfect, beautiful, wonderful, the person you're with is... There's often the need for adventure... The need for something different. The same old becomes, well, old. Something new is refreshing. You, Dani, were that something new. Now, just because you were "something new," or "an adventure," doesn't mean that it was a bad choice. I love you. It seemed that amazingly, this adventure paid off. It was a risk and like I said, it paid off well. Sure, the girl who I had for years considered the girl of my dreams was once mine, and I left her, and hurt her more than I thought I could ever hurt anyone, but you were now mine. You are amazing, beautiful, and have become the new girl of my dreams. We had many good times, many bad times, and I still did a little bit of adventure seeking, that you caught me on. We made it through them though. We've had a rocky road, but we've come out okay. Now, though, as our road, our story, comes to an end... You are the one seeking adventure, you are the one tired of the same old thing. You, who were my adventure, are leaving me, for your own adventure. This is something that is quite a pain, considering I effectively bit myself in the ass... It's just, it was three years ago, and it's taken up until now for my teeth to sink in. I love you, and love the time I've had with you, but you're actions show me how wrong my very own actions were. Your actions are the same actions that I had done, the same choices I made. And where did my adventure end? With you being bored. I had the love of a good woman... I had the person I dreamed of having since the moment I met her... And I left her. I left her for who? Or what? For an adventure that would eventually leave me. This is the greatest irony of my life. This is the one downfall I set into motion three years ago, that I couldn't see till recently. While I'd never give up what we had, I do wish I could have seen the consequences of my actions. It's not that I don't love you, or never have loved you... It's just that I had a safer route... A girl who I could still be with*, but I chose the one that was more of a risk... The one that'd leave me three years down the road. Don't you see the irony of the situation? You are me, three years ago, and it's killing me. I remember Maja always saying, "Don't leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love." ... Well, That's true. I left the one I loved. And you know what? The one I liked turned into the one I loved. That's something that Maja never mentioned in her story... But just because the one you liked becomes the one you loved... Doesn't mean that person won't leave you for the one they love. If only I'd have heard that quote before making my choice... But it was my choice that led me to knowing you more... That led me to meeting Maja, that led me to hearing the quote. More irony. My life seems full of it lately... Just know, my love, that just because I'm thinking back on the past, and how foolish I was... Just because I'm thinking about the choice I made three years ago... Does not mean that I regret this, nor that I never loved you... I still do. I always will... And these three years have been everything to me... Like I said about a minute up... I wouldn't trade it for the world.
*Not to say it would have lasted. I understand nothing can be foreseen. It's just saying, what I could have had, and what I actually have/had.
...Hmm. Quick thought: I need to get laid.
Three years ago, as you know, things were awkward in my life. At this time I was still pretty much the young asshole boy that you fell in love with. I was dating Amber, as you know, and you were that adventure I was seeking. I'm sure you know what seeking adventure is all about. No matter how amazing, how perfect, beautiful, wonderful, the person you're with is... There's often the need for adventure... The need for something different. The same old becomes, well, old. Something new is refreshing. You, Dani, were that something new. Now, just because you were "something new," or "an adventure," doesn't mean that it was a bad choice. I love you. It seemed that amazingly, this adventure paid off. It was a risk and like I said, it paid off well. Sure, the girl who I had for years considered the girl of my dreams was once mine, and I left her, and hurt her more than I thought I could ever hurt anyone, but you were now mine. You are amazing, beautiful, and have become the new girl of my dreams. We had many good times, many bad times, and I still did a little bit of adventure seeking, that you caught me on. We made it through them though. We've had a rocky road, but we've come out okay. Now, though, as our road, our story, comes to an end... You are the one seeking adventure, you are the one tired of the same old thing. You, who were my adventure, are leaving me, for your own adventure. This is something that is quite a pain, considering I effectively bit myself in the ass... It's just, it was three years ago, and it's taken up until now for my teeth to sink in. I love you, and love the time I've had with you, but you're actions show me how wrong my very own actions were. Your actions are the same actions that I had done, the same choices I made. And where did my adventure end? With you being bored. I had the love of a good woman... I had the person I dreamed of having since the moment I met her... And I left her. I left her for who? Or what? For an adventure that would eventually leave me. This is the greatest irony of my life. This is the one downfall I set into motion three years ago, that I couldn't see till recently. While I'd never give up what we had, I do wish I could have seen the consequences of my actions. It's not that I don't love you, or never have loved you... It's just that I had a safer route... A girl who I could still be with*, but I chose the one that was more of a risk... The one that'd leave me three years down the road. Don't you see the irony of the situation? You are me, three years ago, and it's killing me. I remember Maja always saying, "Don't leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love." ... Well, That's true. I left the one I loved. And you know what? The one I liked turned into the one I loved. That's something that Maja never mentioned in her story... But just because the one you liked becomes the one you loved... Doesn't mean that person won't leave you for the one they love. If only I'd have heard that quote before making my choice... But it was my choice that led me to knowing you more... That led me to meeting Maja, that led me to hearing the quote. More irony. My life seems full of it lately... Just know, my love, that just because I'm thinking back on the past, and how foolish I was... Just because I'm thinking about the choice I made three years ago... Does not mean that I regret this, nor that I never loved you... I still do. I always will... And these three years have been everything to me... Like I said about a minute up... I wouldn't trade it for the world.
*Not to say it would have lasted. I understand nothing can be foreseen. It's just saying, what I could have had, and what I actually have/had.
...Hmm. Quick thought: I need to get laid.