Comments | _scratch_: i just saw myself on tv

_scratch_

i just saw myself on tv

Mar 26, 2007 17:53

I saw myself on Tv - my samba band was on a local news show - and I look so gay. Like fag gay. I don't like it. I'm also unshaven, which I don't like the look of on camera. I think it's one of those 'I hate what my voice sounds like recorded' thing. But I wish what I looked more like I thought I look. It's always so humbling to see oneself on video ( Read more... )

Comments 2

uponwaking March 27 2007, 02:38:42 UTC

I wish I didn't sleep through the news, hopefully someone taped it. I'm sure you were beautiful.

hetalksinmaths_ March 27 2007, 18:28:29 UTC

this is an interesting post.

Compared to my experience as a lesbian, and even so far as a tranny, the violence against fags I sense is vile.

i think the key piece here is that you're an FTM "tranny", and not MTF. i imagine that statement would be very different if you were MTF. i think society is much more accepting/tolerant of gender diversity in "women" than "men". i was actually talking to my therapist about this last week, about how i hate how i feel guilty for needing to be male, just a man. i feel like in the FTM community gender variance is more accepted, and those of us who are just male are sometimes seen as giving in to the binary or some shit like that. he mentioned that in the MTF community it's the opposite - it's more acceptable to be "just a woman", just female, with no qualifiers. those who want to be in between, andro, genderqueer, etc, are the ones who get shit.

and i think this goes along with what you're talking about - society doesn't tolerate ambiguity in those it sees as men. men must be menalso, you ( ... )