(no subject)
I've been so busy lately. I haven't had time for anything at all really, except school and cross country. to bad cross country sucks major butt right now. my hip is spazzing out again, i think i need surgery. i really was trying to avoid it, but i don't know. maybe that would just fix everything with that.
i don't know what i'm doing right now with chris and with owen. i need to drop both of them, and just get on with my life... well i HAVE to with owen now thanks to jenelle. she told rachel, his sister, that i was still obsessed with him or something. somehow rachel knows i still like him... sorta kinda... i don't know if i like him, or if i just have some kind of weird attachment to him because he was the first guy who really showed a real intrest in me. ANYWAYS yeah, so now his sister knows, hopefully she doesn't tell owen. pleasepleaseplease. and with chris. i know what i miss about that. he was my first REAL boyfriend. the first person who really cared about me, and showed me. he made sure that i was happy all the time. he did anything and everything i asked of him. hell, he's still happy to do the dishes at my house... i just miss having someone tell me they love me everyday. and i keep KIND OF going back to him, because i know i could have that again, but i know i don't want it from him... but i don't want him to be like that with any other girl. like i just want to put him in my pocket, that way i always know what he's doing, and that his love is only mine forever. really dumb huh.
first cross country meet tomarrow. lets hope that i don't die.
i miss laurie and jenny at school.
i don't know what i'm doing right now with chris and with owen. i need to drop both of them, and just get on with my life... well i HAVE to with owen now thanks to jenelle. she told rachel, his sister, that i was still obsessed with him or something. somehow rachel knows i still like him... sorta kinda... i don't know if i like him, or if i just have some kind of weird attachment to him because he was the first guy who really showed a real intrest in me. ANYWAYS yeah, so now his sister knows, hopefully she doesn't tell owen. pleasepleaseplease. and with chris. i know what i miss about that. he was my first REAL boyfriend. the first person who really cared about me, and showed me. he made sure that i was happy all the time. he did anything and everything i asked of him. hell, he's still happy to do the dishes at my house... i just miss having someone tell me they love me everyday. and i keep KIND OF going back to him, because i know i could have that again, but i know i don't want it from him... but i don't want him to be like that with any other girl. like i just want to put him in my pocket, that way i always know what he's doing, and that his love is only mine forever. really dumb huh.
first cross country meet tomarrow. lets hope that i don't die.
i miss laurie and jenny at school.