Language Arts Paper. Full.
Aly Andrews
May 7, 2004
Metevier
Language Arts 5
What I did or did not know
...And that’s why on the back of a brown paper bag he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that’s what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
Because this time he didn’t think he could reach the kitchen.
From: The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Coming into this project I was just beginning to learn about cutting, but I knew quite a bit. That seemed to make the load a bit easier. I knew that most people who cut were teenagers or young adults. They use cutting to help themselves cope with things in life, and even to help them feel better about certain things I also knew pretty much exactly what cutting was. Cutting is best summed up as willful injury to ones self, using something sharp (www.cyc-net.org). I also knew this problem could be helped. But I wanted to know more! So I decided to research. I discovered a lot of things that I guess you could say I knew, but never knew how to put the thoughts into words.
It turns out there’s so much to learn about cutting. It could go on for what seems like forever about all the reasons why people cut, what they use, and why they do or don’t get treatment. In the little bit of research I’ve done, I’ve realized that cutting is a pretty common way of self mutilation. I never thought of it that way. While discussing the topic of cutting with a friend one day, he said he didn’t approve of it because it was a form of self mutilation (along with other reasons for not fancying it). That was the first time I had ever heard of cutting in that way. I always just thought of it as something that people do when they don’t know what else to do, or how else to cope with things. I also didn’t know how addicting it was. You just feel the urge to pick something sharp up and well, cut. There are other terms such as slashing that I never really used or heard of before, and honestly, don’t like the way they sound. Which for some people might seem weird, considering "cutting" isn’t exactly the “prettiest” of words either. Also in my researching I came across many web pages that all said the same thing "People who cut don’t do it as a form of suicide." That might shock most people, because they’re most-likely thinking, "Well what else would they cut for?" They weren’t prepared for the answer they would get, granted they asked the right person.
Why I’m writing this Paper
Hah! Why am I writing this paper? Because I need the grade to pass. A better question, "Why did I pick my topic?"
Well, when I was assigned this project, and actually had to think of something to write about on my own, it was a mixed feeling of wanting to pee your pants because you finally got to choose what you wanted to write about, and a bit of panic because you weren’t sure if you could come up with the "right" topic. The first topic that came to mind was soccer, but that thought was demolished only seconds later when G said "No sports." "That sucks" I thought. But I was determined to find the best topic I could, so I asked a few friends when I got home that day what they thought I should do my paper on. The response was a definite "yes" on cutting. Not one person disagreed. Their other voting option was alcohol abuse. So, I got all excited thinking about this assignment, knowing that I could show it to people who cut, and discuss what their thoughts on the topic were. That really got me going.
So, I came up with my required ten questions. I wanted to know a lot of answers, but they all kind of fell into the same category, so It was a little difficult trying to come up with ten questions, but I managed. I wanted to know where you can cut. It’s a common assumption that "Oh duh, on the wrists! Where else?!" I knew that was wrong from hearing friends talk about it. So I wanted to learn more about that. I was curious about how often they cut themselves, too. Is there a designated time that most people do it, such as nighttime or in the A.M.? Where do they go to cut themselves? Do they want to be alone while they do it? What would their reaction be if someone saw them cutting? Do cutters want people to know? Or does every cutter have their own preference on how they feel about others knowing? The questions could go on forever... though all closely related.
Another reason for me wanting to write this paper was that I was wondering who was more likely to cut? A guy or a girl? What affects their mind, making them want to cut? Do they all have troubled lives? Do people do it for attention? But most people usually don’t want people to know that they cut. Why? What are they afraid of? Many things raced through my head, and are still going through. Also, the fact that people close to me cut. That makes me want to know more. Maybe then I could understand them more, and be able to talk to them better. That is a HUGE reason for why I am writing this paper.
The Story of the Hunt
To find the answers to my questions, I talked to a few friends, looked around on a few websites, and skimmed through a few books from the Library. I found many things on suicide, in relation to cutting. But cutting isn’t always meant as a form of suicide. It’s more commonly used to release emotions. There are many different opinions on cutting. It’s one of those things that you form your own opinion on, then take what other people have to say about the topic. You might debate a little about it, but the debate would most likely be formed around opinions. There is no “right” answer about cutting. You can’t take one’s opinion and decide to make it a fact that everyone should agree on. It just doesn’t work that way.
The internet was a wonderful asset to my research. I was able to find other people’s journals and websites. Many journals talked about cutting and suicide. But when I say ‘cutting and suicide’, I don’t mean it like all cutting is a suicidal act. It’s really not. You can’t just assume that about people. They all have their motives. It’s kind of how smokers are. It’s a fairly common opinion that smoking is bad. But for the people addicted to smoking, they really can’t help their craves. They might think it’s wrong, like some cutters want to stop because they too think it’s wrong, but it’s not that simple. There’s so much more to these thoughts on cutting and harming yourself than what people realize.
Being able to interview friends was a great benefit. They were able to open up to me and tell me what they really thought about cutting. Some of them had really easy access to sharp objects, but they say that’s not why they cut. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you’re going to do it. In talking to these people, I realized that most, if not all wanted to quit. In one conversation that two of my British friends had, one asked:
“Do you want to stop cutting yourself?”
“Yeah… Well sort of... I don’t know :-( I want to stop for him.”
“Do you have will power to stop?”
”No.”
Also like smoking, quitting isn’t easy. And sadly, like smoking, you CAN die from cutting. It’s just that suicide isn’t the leading cause for cutting. Sometimes when people die from cutting, it’s accidental. They accidentally get a vain or something is on the tool they are using, then they do die. Most never saw it coming. They never thought they could die from it.
To go along with the sometimes accidental deaths caused by cutting, the completed suicide rate is higher among boys. But the attempted suicide rate is higher among girls. The reason for this? Most girls will take an overdose of pills or take poison to commit suicide. They can be stopped fairly easy by someone seeing them over time, or by someone catching them, and having their stomach pumped. More boys die, because they choose more violent and quicker forms of suicide such as explosives and shooting themselves (Klagsbrun 26). One girl’s sister comments on how she didn’t think it was fair for her sister to kill her self. The impact on her parents was too much.
“What a cruel thing for her to do. I don’t think my parents did anything to deserve that kind of cruelty and vindictiveness.” -sister of a fifteen-year-old girl who had slashed her wrists (Klagsbrun 104).
That’s just an example of how cutting may have lead to a death, or maybe she really did just want to die. Once again, there are many ways to view these things.
What I Did or Did not Learn
Cutting has become a convenient label for self mutilation (www.cyc-net.org). People cut for different reasons. Some do it as a form of “venting”, while others do it to express themselves. Some people do it as an “attention-getter”. But you can’t say that about everyone and you can’t say that they’re just trying to live up to some stereotype. A lot of people will deny that they cut. It’s up to the friend to do what they think is the right thing. Cutting can be stopped, but it’s a self willing type of thing. You can’t force someone to stop cutting by telling them it’s stupid. You have to be there for them, and be open to talk.
Cutters use various tools to cut themselves. Some prefer scissors, because it’s not often questioned why you have scissors in your room or near you a lot of the time. It’s easy to frame it as a project for school that you needed scissors for. A very common tool is the standard razor blade. People use it because it is sharp, and it can be very precise if they are into making a design. Not all cutting is just a straight line in the skin. A lot of people engrave things into their skin, such as names, words or pictures. Others have even resorted to glass and other objects that you might not think of as typical cutting utensils. If there is a lot of blood, cloths are also used to help clean the skin up so it won’t stain clothes, therefore making it more noticeable.
Where do people usually cut themselves? Believe it or not, cutters don’t only slit their wrists. Some cut their legs or stomach and even shoulders and upper arms. In the winter it’s easier to hide your cuts and scars, so there’s not much of a problem. When summer comes around however, it’s difficult to keep your cutting “under wraps” -no pun intended-. When you go swimming, a lot of you is showing unless you wear a one-piece, then your stomach cuts are safely hidden, but other than that it can be hard. If you are a guy, then hiding your cuts when swimming can be difficult, unless it’s on your upper thighs. It gets too hot to continue wearing long-sleeved shirts, so you wear T-shirts. Then your cuts on your wrists can show. If you wear a tank top and cut your shoulders, then you are faced with yet another problem. But you need to understand that cutters don’t go crazy and cut on every place that I’ve mentioned. Most people will pick one place, and stick with it for a while, eventually changing to a different spot so that it’s not so obvious.
Is there really a specific time or place for people to cut? Not necessarily. Some people might prefer one time and place to another, such as late at night in their bedroom. They are not likely to be bothered, and it’s the winding down of they day when they just want to release all of the emotion inside of them. Other people have actually cut at school. When teachers find out, or when the student confides in the teacher, bad things for the cutter can happen. Their parents will find out, and then they could be suspended, or sent to a hospital to stay for a couple of weeks to help make them emotionally more stable than before. When people come back from those hospitals, they aren’t necessarily healed of their problem. Some even pick up a new problem such as drug addiction or alcoholism. Drug addiction as a rebound from cutting can even include household drugs such as Tylenol or aspirin, which may lead to drug overdose, and in the end accidental, or even planned suicide.
Many people don’t understand cutting just because the fact they think it would be very painful. Sometimes that’s one of the main reasons that people cut. It can help them pinpoint the pain.
“I can say it hurts here [wrist], when it’s really hurting here [heart]. It allows me to pinpoint the pain that I am feeling.” -Frankie from Real World San Diego
A cutter can get help for their problems from doctors specialized in this area. Therapy and counseling is sometimes necessary. Others can just stop on their own, for their own reasons. Maybe their friends didn’t approve of their cutting, and they just couldn’t’ take the peer pressure, so they quit. Others quit because they were afraid of a relative or friend finding out. Some quit because a relative or friend did find out about their cutting. Everyone does different things for different reasons, and I think that we all need to be conscious and respectful of that. You don’t want someone judging your actions, so you really shouldn’t be judging theirs. That can sometimes be how cutters feel, because they tend to feel all alone, and friendless. They don’t necessarily have an enormous amount of enemies or anything; they just don’t feel the love and attention one should get from friends.
Some of the format might be off consider LJ does that a lot.