Something seems to be missing...

[_spad_]

Lately I feel like there's this gap in my life that just needs to be filled. I feel like it's slowly been growing over the past few years and has finally begun to matter to me. I just feel like I'm missing out on one of the greatest things in life. If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm talking about love

Comments

Love and Romance...

[butterflyfae]

If it helps, your not alone

Re: Love and Romance...

[_spad_]

Thanks for all the advice. I do greatly appreciate my current friends, but I believe you're right when you say that I should seek out some new single guy friends who are also faced with my situation. Maybe if I have friends to drag me out to social events on weekends more often, I'll stand a better chance of meeting someone.

Oh and for the record, I did know you before you and Dave were together, but I think I've come to know you better because I know Dave.

Re: Love and Romance...

[_melancholy_]

I definately have to agree with Sara, especially about how to meet girls. Joining clubs that you're interested in will help you to find girls that are interested in the same things you are. The robotics message boards worked quite well for me.

If you see a girl you might be interested in, a good way to start a conversation with her is to ask her for some sort of unrelated information. In class, you could ask her something like, "Do you know when our next asignments due?" or at a club, "I missed last week's meeting, what happened?" For you, I wouldn't really suggest trying to go to the type of club with a DJ and all that, it's not your sort of thing, so you probably aren't looking for a girl who actually is into that sort of thing. Common interests are the most important thing to get a relationship going.

*correction to the post

[_spad_]

Oh, btw, I think I meant to use the word "many" in this sentence:
"...and any of the girls I do know..." in place of any.

[vashutstampedo]

Coming from a Christian, my viewpoint is the person you're meant to spend your time with will reveal herself. And I mean, like a huge explosion - you won't miss it if your eyes are open

[_melancholy_]

the person you're meant to spend your time with will reveal herself

Very true, Jon. Even though I don't believe in love at first sight, I do believe that at first sight, one can often tell that they will love the person. But, I'm not so sure that expecting to marry your first girlfriend is such a good outlook to have on this sort of thing.

Your first girlfriend doesn't necessarily have to be perfect, especially since you're probably not entirely sure about what perfect exactly is. Dating is really just a trial and error situation. You win some and you lose some, and you always learn a few things about yourself, and about what type of person you'd eventually like to be with.

What I'm trying to say is, don't start out trying to find love. Just start by trying to meet some girls that seem to be your type, whatever you think that type might be.

[vashutstampedo]

Hypothetically speaking, if you became bonded friends with every girl on the planet, you could find the exact person you want without trial and error.

But then it's still hard cause there might be other factors and stuff.

*shrug*

As far as free time goes...

[_spad_]

I actually do have a lot of free time...on weekends. My weekends are generally boring and everyone seems to go home on weekends, so that doesn't help much either.

[afreaknanimal]

The most important thing about finding a girl and having a relationship is...don't look for one. I know so many people that have gotten into relationships while they weren't looking for one.
But if you're not supposed to look, how are you going to find a girl?! Make a lot of friends that are girls. It isn't easy when you think about making friends that are the "g-word," but if you really think about, they are people too. They are no different than you and I (except for anatomy).
Meeting new people is simple, though by no means easy. One has to be willing to open themself up a little bit. I know you are shy, but I have noticed that you have been opening up a lot since you started going to college (you weren't thew only one who noticed). You're taking a step in the right direction. You're pretty funny too, and that always helps. Just go for it. Aim for friends now and see what happens.

[_melancholy_]

Ah, the hedonistic paradox: Pleasure comes to you when you are in the middle of something else and rarely when you are looking for it. Very, very true. No more than four days after I announced, "I'm not dating another boy until I'm out of college!" I started talking to Tim

[_spad_]

I agree with you that it's better to not get set up with someone by someone elses doing. I feel like this is a matter that i have to handle mostly on my own...if not comletely. I'd much rather be "alone" longer if that's what it takes to build a strong relationship from the ground up

[_melancholy_]

Yeah, so I posted a few times. I read your post this morning before anyone else commented, but I didn't have enough time to respond. I had been planning out all day exactly how to respond, and I had it all written out and everything. But, when I finally sat down to type it up, everyone already touched on all the things I planned on writing, so I just responded to their individual posts and added some of my own thoughts. The only thing that no one really got to was the fact that most relationships at this age only lead to a broken heart. I could attempt to say that you might be better off having gone this far in life without ever feeling that type of pain, but that would only make me a hypocrit. Honestly, I've never been in a relationship that wasn't worth it, either for the good times, or for the things I learned from it. It's always nice to be in a relationship, but don't expect everything to all of a sudden be absolutely perfect when you find one. Sometimes, they're as much a burden as they are fun. But, enough warnings

[anonymous]

Exit obscurity. Enter Fred