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Random Paranoid Parrot Quotes.
Bold if you can relate.
Guy asks you on a date. It's a dare.
Coworkers make fun of boss, you join in. It's a trap and they're telling on you.
Teacher gives test back and says one person failed. It's me.
Buying movie tickets with friends. They're going to sell out before I can buy mine.
Someone laughs at your joke. Pity laugh.
Get in car at night. Check back seat for zombies.
Walk into elevator alone. Cable will snap and you'll die.
Look at a person's Facebook, they write on your wall later. Tracked me.
Hear voices while in an empty corridor at school. Chamber of Secrets.
Reply to a celebrity on Twitter. They think you are insane.
Watch Vampire Diaries. Never invite anyone to your house again.
Wake up to use the bathroom at night. Bloody Mary is waiting for me.
Get stung by Mosquito. Will die of Malaria.
Crush texts you. It's their friend playing a trick.
Spot people with mobile phones. They're taking pictures of you to post on the internet.
Pray for something. God will be annoyed and kill you.
Move to Elm Street. Freddy Kruger.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend posts sad lyrics on Facebook. It's about you.
Parents use your whole name. You're fucked.
Legally order alcohol. Get nervous when they card you anyway.
Driving home at night. Every car behind you is following you home.
Something moves for no rational reason. GHOSTS.
See a strand of hair while showering. It's the Grudge.
Randomly wake up at 3 am. I'm going to get possessed by demons.
Go to the kitchen in the middle of the night. Run back to room so zombies don't eat you.
House makes scary noise. Paranormal Activity 3.
Called to the manager's office. I'm going to get fired.
Go down into basement. Sprint up stairs so ghost doesn't kill you.
TV and lights go out. GHOSTS.
Mirror fogs up during shower. Poltergeist is gonna write you a message.
Pass smoker. Contract lung cancer.
Pool water unusually warm. Someone urinated.
Attempt to kill spider but miss. He's going to attack you when you go to sleep tonight.
Turn off light in room. Sprint to lit room.
Fly sits still on wall for a long time. It's a CIA robot.
Car next to yours window rolls down. They're going to shoot you.
No one likes your photo on Facebook. They think you're ugly.
Mum and dad not answering their phones. Voldemort killed them.
Friend borrows your notes. You doodled something embarrassing.
The same car has been behind you for awhile. They're following you.
Mouth words to a song. Everyone thinks you talk to yourself.
First day of school. I'm in the wrong class.
Wake up at night with the feeling that you're not alone. Edward Cullen.
Pick up money off the floor. Everyone thinks you're a cheap ass.
Go to the bathroom. Check behind shower curtain.
Scratch your nose. Everyone thinks you're picking it.
Visit aquarium. Glass will break.
Fail one test. Oh God, I'll be working at Burger King for the rest of my life.
Change in front of computer. Webcam will turn on by itself.
Laughing alone. You've gone crazy.
Friend offers you gum. You have bad breath.
Taking a shower. Psycho.
Ceiling fan is making noise. It's going to fall and chop my head off.
Teacher asks a question. Avoid eye contact so they won't call on you.
Watch Fringe. There's another version of you in an alternate universe.
Feel like sneezing. Fart's gonna come along with it.
Street lamp goes off. Dumbledore.
***
Paranoid parrot quotes I can relate to.
Bold if you can too.
Elevator door doesn’t immediately open. Trapped forever.
Person sitting next to you as you log in. They saw my password.
Finish period. Wear pad for an extra week.
Same answer twice in a row on a test. Must be wrong.
Talk about someone. They’re behind you.
Teacher says get a partner. Only friend is absent.
Plug something in wall socket. Brace self for electrocution.
Walk around downstairs late at night. Don’t look out of any windows in case a murderer pops up.
Put headphones in. Everyone’s talking about you.
Laptop cam. Someone is watching you on the Internet.
Miss an IM. She’ll never talk to you again.
Turn lights off downstairs. Run like a ninja upstairs.
Loud noise outside the house. A child molester is coming for me.
Feel cold breeze. Must be a ghost.
Stranger stands behind you. They’re going to kidnap you.
The person you’re meeting is 2 minutes late. They’re not coming.
Period’s late. Teen mom.
Light flickers in room. House haunted.
Hear weird noise late at night. Murderer is breaking into house and I’m going to die.
Hair touches your arm. Spider.
Ask an anonymous question on Formspring. Forgot to click anonymous.
Person does not respond to text. They hate you and wish you were dead.
Facebook password is rejected first time. Hater has hacked in and changed it.
Watch Saw movies. Trap is waiting for me. Must learn to appreciate life.
People behind you laugh. They’re laughing about you.
Things going well in life. You’re going to die soon.
Take nap with tampon in. You’re going to die of TSS.
Mom hasn’t come home. She’s dead.
Surf internet while parents are in the room. Porn ad will pop up.
You don’t eat lunch at school. Everyone thinks you have an eating disorder.
Phone rings when you’re alone. “You will die in seven days”.
Overhear friends talking about “That bitch”. They’re talking about you.
Ask to go to the bathroom at school. Hurry back so no one thinks you’re pooping.
Dream about crush in class. People can hear your thoughts.
Get invited to costume party. No one else will dress up.
Stick arm out of car window. The window will roll up and chop your arm off.
Messages (1). Anonymous hate mail.
Teacher calls on you but you don’t know the answer. Everyone thinks you’re an idiot.
Get into carnival ride. Test safety bar.
Go through airport metal detector metal-free. Sure you’ll set it off anyway.
Leave table during meal. They think you’re bulimic.
Witness someone being bullied. They’re bringing a gun to school tomorrow.
Someone posts mean status update. It’s about you.
Teachers glance at you in exam. They’re mocking you.
Knock on door, don’t know who it is. It’s probably a killer.
Go to bathroom at someone’s house. They can hear you pee.
Get a question on Formspring. It’s abuse.
Hear chainsaw in distance. Leatherface.
See smoke in distance. It’s my house on fire.
See helicopter outside. Serial killer on the loose.
Answer phone, no one’s there. Michael Myers.
Wear short dress. Everyone can see my ass.
Invited to prom. It’s all an evil plot to embarrass you.
Take the bus. It goes the wrong way.
Kill spider. Rest of the world’s spiders will seek revenge.
Leave store without buying anything. Everyone thinks you shoplifted.
Alone at lunch. Everyone’s laughing at you.