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You know how sometimes you wake up and you know you should just stay in bed? Like, you know the day is going to definitely be horrible, but you get up anyways. Maybe to torture yourself. Maybe because you have responsibilities to take care of. Maybe because living in your dreams is a lot crueler than living in the real world
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Comments 17
I swung by your office today (man was it swamped with people demanding for Quidditch tickets!) and one of your co-workers told me you had just left.
I'm hoping you're home, because I'm about to floo in there right now. I mean, with your permission of course. I don't want to impose myself when you don't want me too.
...and you've what? I mean, that last paragraph just, I don't know, shocked me. I just thought that maybe you didn't really feel so strongly about Michael bloody Corner... I guess I was wrong.
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And are you bloody serious? It's not Michael Corner who I was referring to. I don't have any feelings for him. At all. Any feelings besides friendly, non romantic feelings, that is. It was about...oh, it was about someone else.
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It wasn't? I mean, I know it wasn't! How could you possibly fall for Michael bloody Corner, when you've only talked about him for the past few days, how you're planning to make your pseudo-dates "a weekly thing" and whatnot.
If it's someone else, then *clears throat* maybe you should tell him (assuming it is a boy, of course) and maybe, just maybe, you'd both find the answers you've been looking for.
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I don't understand why no one believes me about this Michael Corner thing. We've gone out to dinner once. I don't see it happening again for awhile because of what's happened. He understands. He also understand that if ever we go out again that it will not be considered a date. I've actually gone and talked to him about this because if it's so hard for my best friends to believe me, I wanted him to know for certain. I just don't get it. When have I ever lied to you, Justin? Why don't you believe me?
It is a boy. And I just don't know how to go about doing that. I'm so confused right now, Justin. It's as though my heart is at war with itself. Sometimes I would rather it just exploded and spare me this...this confusion, this heartache, this hurt. I'm such a mess right now. Who, in their right mind, would want to deal with that right now?
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Don't hate yourself, please. You didn't do anything wrong. I understood how you wanted someone else, it's just history coming back, love. Be strong, Sus, I know it's impossible right now but you have to try.
I can't help but feel as if this is all my fault.
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I can't really do anything except for hate myself right now. It seems to be the only thing that's leaving me functioning like an actual human being. Because other than hate, I feel numb. Completely numb.
How could this be your fault, love?!
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And, how can it not be my fault? It's my father, Susan, my bloody father who's a Death Eater! How can it not be? I can't imagine anyone else who would do this. Who would put us into this ... this emotional wreck. I know he would do something once I heard he escape, but I wonder why he didn't just take me, for Merlin's sake. It would've been so much better that way.
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And please, for the love of all that is good, do not say that. Because then I would be out a boyfriend and a best friend. No matter how much I hate to say it, he was still gone for a month with no word at all to where he was. I still wouldn't have had any idea about what was going on with him if it hadn't been for his capture. So, please don't say that it should have been you. It shouldn't have been anyone. But it definitely shouldn't have been you.
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