Fountain of Youth? What ARRRRRRRRE they thinking?
So Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End was...well...exhausting.
Sometimes silly, sometimes sad, sometimes romantic, sometimes gross (Barnacle!Jack digging out his own brain made me a little queasy), POTC:AWE is the quintessential summer movie experience. You'll notice that I didn't include "intelligent" in the above list, because that is one thing that AWE is most decidedly not. They try to be, but good Lord, is the plot mind-bendingly convoluted. The result of eighty-seven intertwining ulterior motives is a jumbled mess of deception, suspicion, and vague references to nautical terminology.
The performances aren't part of the problem here; each member of the all-star cast holds his (or her) own. Even Keira Knightley takes a respectable stab at portraying a pampered deb-turned-Pirate-King-slash-Queen (not that there are many precedents for a role like that). Johnny predictably steals the show, though Geoffrey Rush's Captain Barbossa gives him a run for his money and Bill Nighy's turn as Davy Jones is a close third. Bloom is underwhelming, as usual, but earned several whoops from ladies in our theatre when he emerges on the Flying Dutchman in all his undead-sea-God glory.
No, the real issue with AWE is the fact that there's way too much going on at once to devote any attention to one single aspect of the plot. The Calypso/Davy Jones love story had some real potential to be an interesting subplot, but it was severely short-changed with a lame, CG payoff involving a gigantic Tia Dalma and a whole crapload of crab thingies. Beckett's villainous motivations receive only a feeble stab at an explanation, and Norrington appears to be thrown in and promptly killed off as nothing more than an afterthought.
Worst of all is the manner in which this episode begins. I'm not a fan of stories that involve bringing people back from the dead. I know it's a Disney fantasy epic and all, but let's face it: dead people stay dead. Sad, but true. The fact that Calypso could so easily bring back Barbossa begs the question: why not snap her goddess fingers and bring back Jack the same way, instead of making everyone get a royal soak in that waterfall? Is it because Jack died at sea and Davy Jones's locker is specific to watery deaths? And why not use this very useful ability of resurrection to find a loophole in Will's unfortunate fate, i.e. let him die and let Jack become the new captain of the Flying Dutchman, and THEN save Will from the locker? Or why not kill Elizabeth at sea and make her part of the Dutchman's crew so she can be with Will? You see my point: this whole dead-people-not-staying-dead thing makes for even more complications in an already messy film.
All things considered, I enjoyed myself. The visual effects are fantastic, particularly the stunning image of the Pearl soaring over the sand in Jones's locker with Jack at the helm (a big applause moment) and the stormy battle in the whirlpool. Jack the monkey could do no wrong as he worked the cameras while wearing Chinese garb and later being shot from a cannon (and living to figuratively tell the tale). Jack the pirate exudes pure cinematic genius, though nothing can top his legendary performance in the first episode of the Pirates saga. There are some memorable action sequences, some yuk-worthy punchlines, and plenty of computer-generated eye candy. The costumes and set design blew me away. And...Keith Richards makes his much-anticipated appearance as Jack's homicidal, badass-motherfucker Pops. 'Nuff said.
I wouldn't recommend missing out on AWE, but take a few bathroom breaks and maybe a few notes as you go along. It's a bloated and exhausting (maybe?) finale that makes you feel like you need a nap and possibly a drink if you happen to be the boozer type. The idea that there may be another sequel, tantalizingly hinted at by the Fountain of Youth map Jack was mulling over, prompts me to wonder if there's any well in that franchise that hasn't been tapped dry. If you see one battle with a sea monster (or undead pirate crew, or squid-faced demon thing), you've seen 'em all.
Sometimes silly, sometimes sad, sometimes romantic, sometimes gross (Barnacle!Jack digging out his own brain made me a little queasy), POTC:AWE is the quintessential summer movie experience. You'll notice that I didn't include "intelligent" in the above list, because that is one thing that AWE is most decidedly not. They try to be, but good Lord, is the plot mind-bendingly convoluted. The result of eighty-seven intertwining ulterior motives is a jumbled mess of deception, suspicion, and vague references to nautical terminology.
The performances aren't part of the problem here; each member of the all-star cast holds his (or her) own. Even Keira Knightley takes a respectable stab at portraying a pampered deb-turned-Pirate-King-slash-Queen (not that there are many precedents for a role like that). Johnny predictably steals the show, though Geoffrey Rush's Captain Barbossa gives him a run for his money and Bill Nighy's turn as Davy Jones is a close third. Bloom is underwhelming, as usual, but earned several whoops from ladies in our theatre when he emerges on the Flying Dutchman in all his undead-sea-God glory.
No, the real issue with AWE is the fact that there's way too much going on at once to devote any attention to one single aspect of the plot. The Calypso/Davy Jones love story had some real potential to be an interesting subplot, but it was severely short-changed with a lame, CG payoff involving a gigantic Tia Dalma and a whole crapload of crab thingies. Beckett's villainous motivations receive only a feeble stab at an explanation, and Norrington appears to be thrown in and promptly killed off as nothing more than an afterthought.
Worst of all is the manner in which this episode begins. I'm not a fan of stories that involve bringing people back from the dead. I know it's a Disney fantasy epic and all, but let's face it: dead people stay dead. Sad, but true. The fact that Calypso could so easily bring back Barbossa begs the question: why not snap her goddess fingers and bring back Jack the same way, instead of making everyone get a royal soak in that waterfall? Is it because Jack died at sea and Davy Jones's locker is specific to watery deaths? And why not use this very useful ability of resurrection to find a loophole in Will's unfortunate fate, i.e. let him die and let Jack become the new captain of the Flying Dutchman, and THEN save Will from the locker? Or why not kill Elizabeth at sea and make her part of the Dutchman's crew so she can be with Will? You see my point: this whole dead-people-not-staying-dead thing makes for even more complications in an already messy film.
All things considered, I enjoyed myself. The visual effects are fantastic, particularly the stunning image of the Pearl soaring over the sand in Jones's locker with Jack at the helm (a big applause moment) and the stormy battle in the whirlpool. Jack the monkey could do no wrong as he worked the cameras while wearing Chinese garb and later being shot from a cannon (and living to figuratively tell the tale). Jack the pirate exudes pure cinematic genius, though nothing can top his legendary performance in the first episode of the Pirates saga. There are some memorable action sequences, some yuk-worthy punchlines, and plenty of computer-generated eye candy. The costumes and set design blew me away. And...Keith Richards makes his much-anticipated appearance as Jack's homicidal, badass-motherfucker Pops. 'Nuff said.
I wouldn't recommend missing out on AWE, but take a few bathroom breaks and maybe a few notes as you go along. It's a bloated and exhausting (maybe?) finale that makes you feel like you need a nap and possibly a drink if you happen to be the boozer type. The idea that there may be another sequel, tantalizingly hinted at by the Fountain of Youth map Jack was mulling over, prompts me to wonder if there's any well in that franchise that hasn't been tapped dry. If you see one battle with a sea monster (or undead pirate crew, or squid-faced demon thing), you've seen 'em all.