Hmmm.....
I got the weirdest call from my ex a few minutes ago. He said he just called to tell me the reason he broke up with me. According to him, I was too much of a prude. He thinks that I'm ashamed of sex and that's why we never had very much of it. He seems to forget that he was having lots of sex while were together, just not with me. He thinks he's some sex god with the biggest dick in the world. NEWS FLASH: You're TERRIBLE in bed and your dick is nothing to praise god about. Besides, the whole time you were out there sticking your dick in everything that moved, this prude was getting the best fucking of his life - from your brother. Who's the prude now, bitch?
PS. You can't use the excuse that the water made it shrink, we were in a jacuzzi
PPS. I thought things looked bigger under water?