Life, Death and Memory

[_tia_marie_]

So hey LJ- how is it going? I am once again (as in 2011) feeling called to be writing in that in between totally personal and a space that is actually closer to work related- the midway audience so to speak- and that is here. I have some fantasy about writing more- and as always we will see how that goes

Comments

[kryscat]

:( I've watched several people go down variants of this path, but haven't (yet?) walked it myself. We're all getting to be "that age," so I've asked to be included in various discussion groups about caring for elderly parents. My dad (age 74) has Parkinson's and lives 3000 miles away, ably cared for by my mom (age 70), who is one of those "takes care of everyone" types like you. She's trying to get all of her ducks in a row to move out here, since my brother and I are here and all 3 grandkids, but she's also taking care of my grandfather (age 90), who lives alone in an apartment in Manhattan and does NOT want to move. There's no chance of any of them moving in to our place, though, with all of our stairs.

I'm really glad that your dad isn't going the angry route, or the paranoid route. A friend's mom is sure the "cleaning lady" at her assisted living facility is stealing from her, so she hides important things in places like garbage cans.

If you want to hang out some time, we're just down the street (24th @Dolores).

[_tia_marie_]

thank you for this. It is always good to not be going through it alone. Where are your discussion groups- maybe I should get on that some...

I would love to hang out- but... Planning seems to be completely beyond me. I have been having social phases where I am trying to see the folks I don't see so often. Here's hoping I can stay in one long enough to see you as well (or even hoping to run into you randomly- that would be FAB as well....)

[kryscat]

Well, the particular discussion groups I'm on are spin-offs of a parenting list I'm on which is an alumni email list, so I can't add you. If you have particular questions I can ask them for you. We have some really knowledgeable people on there including an MD who specializes in hospice care and various people who've been through *everything* with their elderly parents. All of these people are also raising kids at the same time, so we have the "sandwich generation" thing going on. Bouncing things off others can be really helpful, even if they have no useful suggestions and all they can do is commiserate. And sometimes there's something you haven't thought of and it's really good to have more people in your metaphorical corner. Gah, I'm babbling. Anyway, I mostly lurk and absorb, since I'm not actively involved in elder care.

I'm sorry everything is so challenging right now. *hugs* The last couple of weeks of school are coming up for Phaedra. Hope to have a Tia-sighting sometime. :)

[friskybunny]

Checking in that I can read this.

[shnells]

dementia and cognitive deficits in general are very tough things. it's funny, i'm used to seeing it with my patients at work and handle it fine. but seeing it in a parent (in my case, my mother in law) is very tough. We have hit that age of needing to care for our carers and at the same it so starkly makes us aware of our own mortality.

on a happier note, glad to read a post from you and hope you are otherwise well.

[_tia_marie_]

it is nice to hear from you as well- sorry about the time lag in response. basically that is the way my life is these days even when I can pretend to think it is about to change for the more organized/easier...

Thanks for the support/identification it really matters and helps.