(Untitled)

[_tvparty]

I'm alone tonight. I could've hung out with Dawn and Frank but nahh. Ed invited me to tag along with him to a couple of his friend's house. naahhh. It doesn't bug me that I'm alone, I've been thinking about this year and about how despite it being pretty uneventful it was still big for me. Being soo fucking sick all summer kind of tested me, I'd

Comments

[killmeimspecial]

congradulations. Coming to terms, and then once you have come to terms figure out what it is about yourself that is making you unhappy, and after that you can start to fix it. The more you fix, the better you feel. There will always be something though that will drain you. Youll make a mistake. youll think about all the things you are doing to screw up, but at the same time you are not thinking about the things youve changed or are doing right. bi-polar is an excuse and a reason to be depressed or crazy or whatever, but its not in command. you can do all you can to make yourself a happy person and it will minimize the negs. They will still come back, but you can minimize them and pull yourself out of it easier. ive been dealing with shit like that for a long time now. youll do fine. a job is great, but thats not going to fix everything. you cant fix anything overnight or in a week or evven in a year. mabe in a decade? im not really sure yet. once you fix something, you find somethign else you dont like. :/ im rambling so ill stop.

[_tvparty]

oh yeah, I know all this but this entry was just kind of.. getting it off my chest I guess? I don't know. I have my gut feelings of what I know I need to do and I plan on following them, I need to stop getting in the way of myself and actually get to a point where I can live up to my potential. there's always going to be stuff I hate about myself but that just makes a person real. It doesn't make you cool to hate yourself, it makes you lost IN yourself and I don't want that for myself anymore and I don't think I deserve it. I mean, shit, since I've made it a point to better myself over the last few monthes I have been happier and I like that.

You can ramble on comments in my journal all you want, you know I'll just ramble right back at you. besides I enjoy your input on things, we're on the same page majority of the time. :D

[killmeimspecial]

good, its a long road, probably a road that doesnt end, I dont know yet haha.

[anonymous]

jew here.

it's one thing to say all this, and an entirely different thing to do all of this. you know that. i know that. you know i know that.
i'm trying to make things better for myself too. but like you said, who knows where to begin?

allll i can say is, i love you and i wish you luck with everything this year.

it only fades if you let it.

[_tvparty]

love you too joojoobee. I'm glad to have you around <3