Oh.
So.
Fucking.
Fucked.
I got high again last night. Big deal. Obviously it is to Alyssa. She's not going to talk to me. She needs to get better. I know that me smoking is what bothered her. I knew it, but I have a fixiation. I see it, I want it. I can't help it. I don't give a shit if you tell me I can, I can't. Honestly I can't. I was doing good, I
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