I do feel kind of bad for not being a christian sometimes, as well. I want to have the joy that Christians seem to have in their faith and belief, I don't know if I could even begin to describe my envy for their belief, I want something so much more.
Honestly, I was praying to every fucking deity in the bloody sky that the retreat would END. Towards the end, I started praying to inanimate objects in my immediate surroundings, such as a particular plank on the gym floor. During Mass I started praying to saints that I made up, such as Saint Ethan the Buttery and Saint Jennifer, Protector of Toaster Ovens and Other Small Home Appliances.
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Didn't work, but at least I can say I tried.
Honestly, I was praying to every fucking deity in the bloody sky that the retreat would END. Towards the end, I started praying to inanimate objects in my immediate surroundings, such as a particular plank on the gym floor. During Mass I started praying to saints that I made up, such as Saint Ethan the Buttery and Saint Jennifer, Protector of Toaster Ovens and Other Small Home Appliances.
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